I went on a date last night, arranged by It's Just Lunch. It was my twelfth date with the agency, so by right I have completed the stipulated number of dates and can choose to terminate my membership. Anyway, since I have signed up for Lunch Actually and Exclusive Match, it should not be that big a problem even if I terminate my membership at It's Just Lunch.
Honestly, my experience at It's Just Lunch is not really that impressive. Perhaps some people were really lucky to be able to find their other halves through the agency, but from my experience, I feel that the agency is more concerned about its members meeting the number of stipulated dates as stated, rather than really finding a good match.
I am not saying that they did not do a good job; I believe they did. But I feel they should have put in more effort to consider whether two people really have the potential chemistry and compatibility before sending them to meet each other, instead of just picking anyone out of random.
For instance, I specifically said I prefer to meet more mature guys, ie those in their late twenties and above, with at least a few years of working experience. It is more interesting talking to people who are more experienced and mature, instead of fresh graduates. There is a difference between talking to people who have worked for a while as opposed to those who just started working, and those who are still mummy's boys or those who are already mature and independent.
Yet, out of the twelve dates, I have been sent to five meetings where the guys either just graduated, or just started work, or still very dependent on their parents. And they were not good company, because they still tend to play childish games, and their outlook towards life and attitudes are still rather naive. Thus, we do not seem to be on the right frequency at all.
I have given quite a number of feedback saying that I would prefer to meet older guys who are more stable, but still, I kept being sent to dates where the guys are still not mature enough, and it became a chore talking to them because it is hard to relate to each other if our mentalities are at a different level.
Anyway, my date last night was not really that fantastic. I turned down my dad's invitation for dinner last night because of this date, as my dad asked me at the last minute and it was too late to cancel the date.
When I reached the venue, the guy was not there. He was fifteen minutes' late, and he did not even bother calling the place to inform! We were told to call the venue in the event we were late for whatsoever reason, and to ask if our date could wait a while. But he did not. I was about to call my dad to tell him that I could join him for dinner after all, when that guy finally showed up.
The moment I saw him, I did not have a good first impression. He was so casually dressed, with balding and unkempt hair. Plus, he has traces of acne scars. Okay, I may sound too shallow if I say I put emphasis on physical appearances, but the place we were supposed to meet is quite a cushy place, specialising in authentic French wines, a good hang out place for yuppies and executives.
In the first place, if one is going to such a place, one should at least dress appropriately, but he was dressed as if he was going to a neighbourhood market! Furthermore, he said that his previous date was at the same place, so all the more he would have known the ambience there!
Secondly, even if he did not know the kind of ambience the place has, if he knew he was going on a date, should he not make the effort to at least dress up a bit? I rushed from a hectic day from the office, and still I made the effort to be well-groomed enough. He was off work yesterday, yet he was so haphazard in his physical appearance!
It gives me the feeling that he did not even bother, that he deemed it not necessary or important enough. It made me feel disrespected. No doubt he is under no obligation to make me feel anything great, but still, if a person is meeting someone for the first time and not knowing how the person is like, should he not ensure he make a better first impression? I find it so disrespectful to be so casual in one's dressing for a first meeting!
I am not saying that I must be with someone or can only meet people who are drop dead gorgeous. None of the guys I dated are that type. But at least they make the effort to look presentable enough, to be well-groomed enough, even in casual wear. At least they make the effort to dress well, even if it is just T-shirt and bermudas, and not make it seem like they just throw on any old thing in their wardrobes.
Perhaps I am being too judgmental, but first impressions really count. The guy may be very nice and what not, but if I do not like what I see on first sight, it is hard for me to give a chance to develop further. Somehow, I just do not like the way he looks. And if he turns people off with how he looks, chances are it is hard for him to go further with anyone.
It is a sad fact, but true too. I am already the type that do not go for looks, but if I say I do not like the way someone looks, that person really needs help in the grooming and deportment department. It will be hard for others to go beyond the physical appearance and discover his inner being.
And anyway, from the few hours we spent with each other, I am not that impressed with his behaviour too, especially towards hawkers and elderly. Perhaps I am biased, but I can never advocate not being patient and kind to the elderly. And this guy is not, which shows he is probably not that nice a person in the first place.
Honestly, my experience at It's Just Lunch is not really that impressive. Perhaps some people were really lucky to be able to find their other halves through the agency, but from my experience, I feel that the agency is more concerned about its members meeting the number of stipulated dates as stated, rather than really finding a good match.
I am not saying that they did not do a good job; I believe they did. But I feel they should have put in more effort to consider whether two people really have the potential chemistry and compatibility before sending them to meet each other, instead of just picking anyone out of random.
For instance, I specifically said I prefer to meet more mature guys, ie those in their late twenties and above, with at least a few years of working experience. It is more interesting talking to people who are more experienced and mature, instead of fresh graduates. There is a difference between talking to people who have worked for a while as opposed to those who just started working, and those who are still mummy's boys or those who are already mature and independent.
Yet, out of the twelve dates, I have been sent to five meetings where the guys either just graduated, or just started work, or still very dependent on their parents. And they were not good company, because they still tend to play childish games, and their outlook towards life and attitudes are still rather naive. Thus, we do not seem to be on the right frequency at all.
I have given quite a number of feedback saying that I would prefer to meet older guys who are more stable, but still, I kept being sent to dates where the guys are still not mature enough, and it became a chore talking to them because it is hard to relate to each other if our mentalities are at a different level.
Anyway, my date last night was not really that fantastic. I turned down my dad's invitation for dinner last night because of this date, as my dad asked me at the last minute and it was too late to cancel the date.
When I reached the venue, the guy was not there. He was fifteen minutes' late, and he did not even bother calling the place to inform! We were told to call the venue in the event we were late for whatsoever reason, and to ask if our date could wait a while. But he did not. I was about to call my dad to tell him that I could join him for dinner after all, when that guy finally showed up.
The moment I saw him, I did not have a good first impression. He was so casually dressed, with balding and unkempt hair. Plus, he has traces of acne scars. Okay, I may sound too shallow if I say I put emphasis on physical appearances, but the place we were supposed to meet is quite a cushy place, specialising in authentic French wines, a good hang out place for yuppies and executives.
In the first place, if one is going to such a place, one should at least dress appropriately, but he was dressed as if he was going to a neighbourhood market! Furthermore, he said that his previous date was at the same place, so all the more he would have known the ambience there!
Secondly, even if he did not know the kind of ambience the place has, if he knew he was going on a date, should he not make the effort to at least dress up a bit? I rushed from a hectic day from the office, and still I made the effort to be well-groomed enough. He was off work yesterday, yet he was so haphazard in his physical appearance!
It gives me the feeling that he did not even bother, that he deemed it not necessary or important enough. It made me feel disrespected. No doubt he is under no obligation to make me feel anything great, but still, if a person is meeting someone for the first time and not knowing how the person is like, should he not ensure he make a better first impression? I find it so disrespectful to be so casual in one's dressing for a first meeting!
I am not saying that I must be with someone or can only meet people who are drop dead gorgeous. None of the guys I dated are that type. But at least they make the effort to look presentable enough, to be well-groomed enough, even in casual wear. At least they make the effort to dress well, even if it is just T-shirt and bermudas, and not make it seem like they just throw on any old thing in their wardrobes.
Perhaps I am being too judgmental, but first impressions really count. The guy may be very nice and what not, but if I do not like what I see on first sight, it is hard for me to give a chance to develop further. Somehow, I just do not like the way he looks. And if he turns people off with how he looks, chances are it is hard for him to go further with anyone.
It is a sad fact, but true too. I am already the type that do not go for looks, but if I say I do not like the way someone looks, that person really needs help in the grooming and deportment department. It will be hard for others to go beyond the physical appearance and discover his inner being.
And anyway, from the few hours we spent with each other, I am not that impressed with his behaviour too, especially towards hawkers and elderly. Perhaps I am biased, but I can never advocate not being patient and kind to the elderly. And this guy is not, which shows he is probably not that nice a person in the first place.
2 comments:
While I usually advocate patience over hasty judgements, it sounds to me that he is just hoping to get lucky.
Bad behaviour on a first encounter, unless due to exceptional circumstances, is a definite no-no. As far as I am concerned, people always put their best face forward in the beginning. Casual dress? Well, I am know to be quite casual (drives Sofia crazy), but I do try to be clean and reasonably kempt.
I wouldn't bother with a follow up.
Yes, I feel on a first meeting one should always be on the best behaviour. Normally the quirks will start coming after one is reasonably familiar with the person, but definitely not on a first, or second date even.
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