I made a mistake yesterday. I summed up whatever courage I have to be more thick-skinned to ask for something back from someone. And it gave me more frustration instead. By right, I am normally not so cheapskate because a gift is a gift, and I am against people who ask for gifts back.
The thing is that, I did not ask for the gift back. It is something very expensive, which I gave it out of love to someone who never loved me in the first place, to someone not worth it, and yet I am still paying the instalments for it. So I figured, yes, the gift had been given, but why should I continue paying the instalments?
Thus I asked for the money back. I will never ask for what I gave away back, but because it is a very expensive item and I am still paying through my nose, I have no obligation to continue paying, so would I be doing anything wrong to ask for the money back?
All the more so since I blew quite a huge sum on my recent trip, and my course fees are due in a couple of months, so I do appreciate a bit more cash at hand for the moment. I know I am being really cheapskate here, but at times I have to prioritise what is more important, and in this case, my "face" (or skin) is at a lower priority.
Which reminds me that the birthday gift I got for someone's upcoming birthday is also a lost cause. Since he did not even wish me happy birthday (when some of my other friends actually did), why should I then be the one to buy him a birthday gift and celebrate his birthday when it clearly shows that I am no longer important to him even as a friend to even warrant a birthday greeting?
Anyway the reason I was feeling so frustrated was because the way that conversation was going after I asked for my money back. He told me he is finally separated, and that he still loves me a lot. But frankly speaking, I no longer know what is true and what is not. I no longer believe a word he says.
He said the reason he did what he did was because he wanted me to leave, to find someone better, because I am so much better than him, he felt so inferior being with me. So does that mean it is my fault then? That he had to be oh so noble to let me go and find someone better, when he was so possessive that he did not even allow me to meet other guys while I was sort of with him?
I have enough of all his excuses and lies. Does he really think he can finally make me give up, then in the end still come running back to him because of some excuses? If he really loves me as he claims, and really want to be with me, it will not be just lip service, it will be actions.
I do a lot of things mainly because I believe action speaks louder than words. It is no use just saying so much if nothing is done, or promises are not kept. A real serious committed person will let his actions do the talking, rather than flowery speeches.
But anyway, why must I get so frustrated for? I only have myself to blame. Some mistakes are not so easily rectified. Some people come into our lives as blemishes, and having made that mistake, I will have to live with it, probably for the rest of my life, as a reminder of one of the biggest mistakes I ever made and never to make the same mistake again.
The thing is that, I did not ask for the gift back. It is something very expensive, which I gave it out of love to someone who never loved me in the first place, to someone not worth it, and yet I am still paying the instalments for it. So I figured, yes, the gift had been given, but why should I continue paying the instalments?
Thus I asked for the money back. I will never ask for what I gave away back, but because it is a very expensive item and I am still paying through my nose, I have no obligation to continue paying, so would I be doing anything wrong to ask for the money back?
All the more so since I blew quite a huge sum on my recent trip, and my course fees are due in a couple of months, so I do appreciate a bit more cash at hand for the moment. I know I am being really cheapskate here, but at times I have to prioritise what is more important, and in this case, my "face" (or skin) is at a lower priority.
Which reminds me that the birthday gift I got for someone's upcoming birthday is also a lost cause. Since he did not even wish me happy birthday (when some of my other friends actually did), why should I then be the one to buy him a birthday gift and celebrate his birthday when it clearly shows that I am no longer important to him even as a friend to even warrant a birthday greeting?
Anyway the reason I was feeling so frustrated was because the way that conversation was going after I asked for my money back. He told me he is finally separated, and that he still loves me a lot. But frankly speaking, I no longer know what is true and what is not. I no longer believe a word he says.
He said the reason he did what he did was because he wanted me to leave, to find someone better, because I am so much better than him, he felt so inferior being with me. So does that mean it is my fault then? That he had to be oh so noble to let me go and find someone better, when he was so possessive that he did not even allow me to meet other guys while I was sort of with him?
I have enough of all his excuses and lies. Does he really think he can finally make me give up, then in the end still come running back to him because of some excuses? If he really loves me as he claims, and really want to be with me, it will not be just lip service, it will be actions.
I do a lot of things mainly because I believe action speaks louder than words. It is no use just saying so much if nothing is done, or promises are not kept. A real serious committed person will let his actions do the talking, rather than flowery speeches.
But anyway, why must I get so frustrated for? I only have myself to blame. Some mistakes are not so easily rectified. Some people come into our lives as blemishes, and having made that mistake, I will have to live with it, probably for the rest of my life, as a reminder of one of the biggest mistakes I ever made and never to make the same mistake again.
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