Homo sapiens are really complex creatures. Sometimes we should just be like animals - eat, sleep, mate, and that is it. No worries about whether the partner is the right one, or the best one, just perform our mating duties and beget a new generation. Like I was talking to a friend, she was complaining about the lack of passion in her marriage. Before that, she was complaining about too much passion, now she complains about lack of passion. I admit, women are very contradictory creatures! We worry when the men only have sex on their minds; yet we also worry if the men are not interested in sex. Oh well ....
Having said that, it is strange indeed that up to now, there are many out there who have no idea how best to go about initiating a relationship. And these people are not young kids on the cusp of puberty, but people around my age or older. Even if they have never dated before, still, at this age, they should be rather astute on how things should progress, is it not? So how does one go about initiating a relationship anyway?
One way can be to talk these things through, on whether to progress or not. Perhaps these people want to seek confirmation and showing respect to the other party. Nevertheless, I believe they feel they should have a high chance of success, otherwise no one will be so thick-skinned to declare his feelings and get rejected! Which reminds me, I must examine myself whether I have misled anyone into thinking I am willing to pursue a relationship. It is not a good feeling turning down nice guys.
There are some who go by the "unspoken rule", ie when the feeling is there, they know it, and so just take the opportunity to hold the hand. Normally these people are those who are really sure the feeling is mutual, otherwise they may suffer a slap across their faces. As to how would they know the feeling is there, well, it is a bit hard to determine or explain. At times one just feels it. One can feel it whether the person is interested as well, although I admit there are some people who are rather ambiguous and end up misleading others. But generally, when the feelings are mutual, both can feel it.
Then there are those who take the bolder step. They just invite the potential partner for dinner with the parents. Now, when this happens, unless the potential partner in question also feels the same way, otherwise this act may frighten away any possibility of a further relationship. But on the other hand, if the person is not into you, then he / she will not bother asking you to meet the parents, right? So one should feel flattered rather than shocked, unless the feeling is not mutual, then one has ever right to run far away!
But I suppose all these do depend on age too. I remember back in school, when a guy was interested in a girl, he would sit by her side, help her with her work, buy food for her, call her on the phone almost everyday, buy gifts for her, accompany her home, and when her birthday or Valentine's Day came about, he would give her flowers, or a gift, with a card declaring his feelings, then disappear. As in stayed out of her sight while she opened the card and read his message. This never happened to me (unfortunately!), but I have seen how some of my classmates pursued and were pursued.
As one grows older, the stress of working life takes over and one hardly has time to socialise. So as one progresses in age, especially for those who are open to a relationship with the right person, one does not go by the feelings and emotions so much as looking for compatibility and stability. So they try to mix around with as many people as possible and let things happen naturally rather than pushing it. At this age, it is not so much as seeing or talking on the phone everyday, but hanging out once in a while, exchanging messages and living their own lives. Of course, there are still people who call the potential partner almost everyday, but generally for people at this age, we are looking more for stability and companionship rather than passionate romance.
So how does one initiate a relationship? At this age, normally no words need to be spoken. One just know it when the feeling is mutual. And when that happens, both can progress to the next stage, like hand holding as a mark of confirmation of the relationship.
Having said that, it is strange indeed that up to now, there are many out there who have no idea how best to go about initiating a relationship. And these people are not young kids on the cusp of puberty, but people around my age or older. Even if they have never dated before, still, at this age, they should be rather astute on how things should progress, is it not? So how does one go about initiating a relationship anyway?
One way can be to talk these things through, on whether to progress or not. Perhaps these people want to seek confirmation and showing respect to the other party. Nevertheless, I believe they feel they should have a high chance of success, otherwise no one will be so thick-skinned to declare his feelings and get rejected! Which reminds me, I must examine myself whether I have misled anyone into thinking I am willing to pursue a relationship. It is not a good feeling turning down nice guys.
There are some who go by the "unspoken rule", ie when the feeling is there, they know it, and so just take the opportunity to hold the hand. Normally these people are those who are really sure the feeling is mutual, otherwise they may suffer a slap across their faces. As to how would they know the feeling is there, well, it is a bit hard to determine or explain. At times one just feels it. One can feel it whether the person is interested as well, although I admit there are some people who are rather ambiguous and end up misleading others. But generally, when the feelings are mutual, both can feel it.
Then there are those who take the bolder step. They just invite the potential partner for dinner with the parents. Now, when this happens, unless the potential partner in question also feels the same way, otherwise this act may frighten away any possibility of a further relationship. But on the other hand, if the person is not into you, then he / she will not bother asking you to meet the parents, right? So one should feel flattered rather than shocked, unless the feeling is not mutual, then one has ever right to run far away!
But I suppose all these do depend on age too. I remember back in school, when a guy was interested in a girl, he would sit by her side, help her with her work, buy food for her, call her on the phone almost everyday, buy gifts for her, accompany her home, and when her birthday or Valentine's Day came about, he would give her flowers, or a gift, with a card declaring his feelings, then disappear. As in stayed out of her sight while she opened the card and read his message. This never happened to me (unfortunately!), but I have seen how some of my classmates pursued and were pursued.
As one grows older, the stress of working life takes over and one hardly has time to socialise. So as one progresses in age, especially for those who are open to a relationship with the right person, one does not go by the feelings and emotions so much as looking for compatibility and stability. So they try to mix around with as many people as possible and let things happen naturally rather than pushing it. At this age, it is not so much as seeing or talking on the phone everyday, but hanging out once in a while, exchanging messages and living their own lives. Of course, there are still people who call the potential partner almost everyday, but generally for people at this age, we are looking more for stability and companionship rather than passionate romance.
So how does one initiate a relationship? At this age, normally no words need to be spoken. One just know it when the feeling is mutual. And when that happens, both can progress to the next stage, like hand holding as a mark of confirmation of the relationship.
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