I was talking to a friend last night, and he (recently married) was telling me actually he feels guys who are still unmarried in their thirties brought it upon themselves. I was quite shocked over that statement, so I asked him why.
He said the guys either do not treat the girl seriously (quite true actually!), or they have very unrealistic expectations, or they are not willing to be nice to the girl, or they do not know how to interact and approach the opposite gender, or they think too highly of themselves that they deem everyone else below them.
Erh… a bit harsh actually, but I do agree somewhat. I have seen guys who are like that. And there are also some guys who are so desperate for a relationship that they just grab whoever that comes along, without thinking through the consequences. There is a difference between actually being with the person or just wanting to be in a relationship.
Wanting to be with the person means taking the good and the bad and be committed no matter what happens, whereas wanting to be in a relationship means just wanting company and someone to do things with. However, they may not be able to take the bad as it comes because they may have an ideal what the perfect relationship is like, and not what the person is like, which will be rather unhealthy in the long run.
Anyway, I asked him, in that case, what about girls who are single in their thirties? He said girls who are still single in their thirties are mostly not at fault, because they meet these kind of men so nothing can be worked out.
Hmmmmm… and this is from a fellow man! If even someone of the same gender starts feeling there is a problem, then perhaps there really is a problem? And I thought I am the one being biased or discriminatory or having too high expectations!
He said the guys either do not treat the girl seriously (quite true actually!), or they have very unrealistic expectations, or they are not willing to be nice to the girl, or they do not know how to interact and approach the opposite gender, or they think too highly of themselves that they deem everyone else below them.
Erh… a bit harsh actually, but I do agree somewhat. I have seen guys who are like that. And there are also some guys who are so desperate for a relationship that they just grab whoever that comes along, without thinking through the consequences. There is a difference between actually being with the person or just wanting to be in a relationship.
Wanting to be with the person means taking the good and the bad and be committed no matter what happens, whereas wanting to be in a relationship means just wanting company and someone to do things with. However, they may not be able to take the bad as it comes because they may have an ideal what the perfect relationship is like, and not what the person is like, which will be rather unhealthy in the long run.
Anyway, I asked him, in that case, what about girls who are single in their thirties? He said girls who are still single in their thirties are mostly not at fault, because they meet these kind of men so nothing can be worked out.
Hmmmmm… and this is from a fellow man! If even someone of the same gender starts feeling there is a problem, then perhaps there really is a problem? And I thought I am the one being biased or discriminatory or having too high expectations!
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