It Wearies Me

I have no idea what is happening to me these couple of days. I had so much energy on Saturday and Sunday that I could sleep for just four hours and still wake up energised the next day. Yet yesterday (Monday), for some reason, I got so lethargic that I could hardly concentrate on anything.

Perhaps it was due to the minor frustration, but then life is full of frustration anyway. I no longer let things like that get me down. Whatever it was, I hardly focused on work yesterday. I did not even wish to take a long bus ride and just went home in a cab (so angry at myself because of that!). I was so worn out that I slept at nine o'clock at night! Even my mum was so surprised that I slept so early - in a very very long time!

Today was worse. I could hardly open my eyes in the office. I screwed up every piece of work. My mind was simply not there. I was not as alert as before, and I could hardly understand what others told me. In short, everything was bad.

And now I am so tired again. I really have no idea why I was so lethargic lately. There is not much in the office that I should not have screwed up a simple piece of work. There is not much school work as I just submitted my assignments last week. There is also not much social life since I just had the party last week.

So why? Why am I feeling this way? I have no inclination to do anything at all, not even to read or write. I was supposed to update the lecture I attended last Thursday, but I did not even have any inclination to do that! All I want to do is to sleep, and that is what I will be doing in a few minutes, after I shut this off!

有心做坏事

I am rather frustrated. Come to think of it, it is but a small thing so maybe I should not kick up such a big fuss. But I do not like the way some people handle things. Maybe that is what is called in Chinese - 好心做坏事. You try to do a good thing for others, but end up making everyone else uncomfortable.

Maybe it is my fault in the first place. I thought it would be great for all, without realising that some people are not comfortable with the idea. Still, I do not need to be put down like that! I do not like the way some people want to take on ownership and do everything on their own, as if what they do will definitely be good and what I do will definitely be lousy! I do not appreciate being talked down! Why can we not work together?

Well, as I said, it is just a little thing. I should not kick up such a big fuss. People do not need to agree with what I do, but still, what I do not like is they do not have to be so insensitive and bounce me everywhere, as if I have not been bounced enough! The most frustrating thing is that I did put in effort in researching and consolidating whatever needed to be done, and then I just got put down with no form of recognition!

Do people not see I did those at my own time instead of business hours because I was doing people favours as that was technically not official? I thought since others were busy and I happend to be there, I might as well help out since it is in my area of expertise. That is what one gets for volunteering to be helpful!

The Dating Quiz IQ

I came across this and did it for fun. Rather surprised at the results though, but happy that finally, I have achieved that stage! :-p

My score - 22

How To Score The What’s Your Dating IQ? Quiz:

Scoring the What’s Your Dating IQ? Quiz is a lot like the regular IQ test, the higher the score, the higher your dating IQ! Each false answer is worth 2 points. The more points, the more confident you are in yourself and the greater your clarity about what you want in a relationship. Use this quiz as a springboard to commit yourself to getting the mate you want by making sure you are ready, open, available and alert!

22-30 Points You’re secure in yourself as a woman, in touch with your feminine energy, know your way around the dating scene and aren’t easily taken in by what men say. What are you waiting for? Get out there - you are more than ready!

11-21 Points You are a mix of confidence and clarity, coupled with some habits that could detract from a good dating experience. To improve your opportunities, think about what you might do to open your heart a little more and connect with your femininity. It might be time to get a bit more educated about what works with men, as well as reassess what’s acceptable, what you won’t tolerate, and how you want to be treated.

0-10 Points You might be a tad more closed off than you realize. To shift your attitude and ability to meet a good man, spend some quality time working on your inner self. Consider methods to open your heart to love and rekindle your feminine nature. Learn what works with men and get clear on what you really want in a loving relationship. You might think about being a bit more discriminating, rather than simply accepting any man who crosses your path or pursues you.

A Successful Party

The house party last night was a success! I prepared fried rice and grilled chicken wings (with my own recipe). What started off as just a small get-together with travel mates became a relatively big group of singles - friends which I have in various social circles, and their friends.

Initially there were just thirteen, then the number grew to sixteen, then twenty-one with the final figure at twenty-three. It would be a cosy group. On the day itself, four could not come due to last-minute exigencies, but those who came all seemed to have a great and jolly time!

Besides the food I prepared, there were others who brought snacks, drinks, ice-cream, cake, dessert, candy and curry puffs. It was really a big feast! I was glad that everyone mingled and talked to each other, instead of just hiding in corners!

By the time the night was done, four bottles of orange juice, ten cans of beer, two bottles of white wine, one bottle of rose wine, one bottle of raspberry vodka and one bottle of red wine were wiped out amongst everyone! Some drank more than others and had to recuperate for a while.

All in all, it was a wonderful night! I really enjoy planning and hosting the party, hopefully there will be more to come in the future!

Is This A Surprise, Or What?

I came across a Romantic Personality Quiz so started doing it for fun. Hmmm... the results are a surprise, or are they?

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."
Henry Drummond

"Romance is about the little things."
Gregory J. Godeck

"Romance, like the rabbit at the dog track, is the elusive, fake, and never attained reward which, for the benefit and amusement of our masters, keeps us running and thinking in safe circles."
Beverly Jones

"When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance."
Oscar Wilde

To bask in the delights of idealized love is, in essence, to be a romantic. Hollywood, it seems, has personified romance as candlelit dinners in fancy French restaurants or giggly chases in slow-motion through daisy-filled meadows. The truth is that expressions of love and affection don’t have to be expensive or overwhelming.

Holding hands, casual walks, or a simple “I love you” are those little things which can really go a long way. If you aren't comfortable with the traditional romantic protocol, you can come up with your own ways of letting someone know how much you care. The truth is that there are no rules.

It is important to note that romance is not a component of love that appeals to everyone; nor is it necessary to keep passion alive. Passion can be stirred by simply being respectful and honest with the one you love. Whether you’re a romantic at heart or a more pragmatic lover, as long as you’re willing to put your heart and soul into a relationship there is no amount of roses, candlelit dinners or four-string quartets than can measure up or compare to that.

Romance index 86

According to your score, you are romance typified! Rose petals, poignant poetry, tall glasses of wine, touching moments, and sweet words are all loving gestures that you love to receive as well as offer. Romance is very important to you, and quite likely an aspect that you consider fundamental in relationships.

Keep in mind however, that problems may arise if you are with someone who really isn’t the romantic type. If you look forward to Valentine's Day to express your love and your partner doesn't even acknowledge it as a special day, you might end up feeling neglected or your efforts unappreciated. Nevertheless, even if your partner isn't as romantically inclined as you are, try to be appreciative of his/her efforts when she/he does try to woo you.

Some people aren’t comfortable displaying their affection in screamingly obvious ways, but this doesn’t mean that they don’t care – they simply prefer to be more subtle.

The Advice : Romance doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive – just from the heart. Remember – it’s the little things that matter the most. Whether it’s you or your partner who is more of the romancer, check out the ideas below for some simple and sweet romantic gestures.

• Show up at your lover’s workplace and whisk her/him away for lunch or a walk. (Have experienced that.)

• Put a note on the bathroom mirror promising to share an afternoon delight. (Done that – not exactly the bathroom mirror, but a note on his desk.)

• When you are not together, call or send a message just to let your partner know that you miss him/her. (Been there, done that – all the time in fact.)

• Ride your bike or walk the distance to your significant other’s house just to see him/her for a few hours. (Been there, done that – unfortunately, no one had done that for me. :-()

• Dress and/or undress each other. (Errrh…Only to the special someone after marriage.)

• Kiss every part of your partner's body. (See above.)

• Hold hands. (All the time.)

• Surprise your partner with plans for a fun day-trip together. (Been there, done that, experienced that.)

• Go to a toy store and play like children. (Been there, done that too!)

• Bring your partner a treat when you pay him/her a visit. (Been there, done that too!)

• Get up early and make him/her breakfast in bed. (No chance for that since I did not really stay over at any of my ex’s place, but definitely will do that once the occasion comes. Hmmm.. come to think of it, does an early trip to his place with breakfast count?)

• Compliment him/her. A simple “You’re adorable” or “You’re so much fun to be with” is perfect – just make sure you mean it of course! (All the time!)

• Find out what your partner’s favorite dish is and surprise him/her with a home cooked meal one night. (Been there, done that too, experienced that too.)

• Find out what his/her favorite song is and request it on the radio as a dedication to him/her. (Been there, done that, experienced that too.)

• Put together a journal of romantic quotes, poems and songs. (Been there, done that.)

Cellphone : Want Or Need?

In this age of technology, having a mobile has become a basic necessity. What is luxury is the brand of mobile. In fact, having one that can take pictures and listen to music is already a necessity to most people. In the past mobile phones is just for convenience sake and to receive and return calls, it progressed to the age of text messages, then now to taking pictures, listening to music, and even checking emails and stock index for some.

Technology has progressed so much that landlines, house phones and public phones are now redundant. How many public coin or card phones do one see nowadays? Even little kids use mobile phones now! Many of my friends no longer have a house phone or landline because those are now under utilized, so their families cancel the line altogether.

Which was why I panicked when I left my phone back in the office yesterday. Wonder what could have happened? I was going to a seminar at my alma mater, and was just going to whip up my phone to check the time (makes watches unnecessary as well) when I realized it was not around.

I literally had a heart attack! If my phone is lost, all my contacts, contacts which I have built up all these years, pictures, songs, will all be gone! I was wondering how in the world was I ever going to replace everything, when I thought I could have left it in the office, since there was no where else I had gone.

So when I reached home and called my number, I was relieved to find that the phone actually rang. So it had not been stolen after all! If someone had taken the phone, he / she would have removed the SIM card immediately, and my phone would not have rung at all.

Or unless an honest person happened to find it and was waiting for me to call? But if the person was really honest, he could have just scrolled my phone book and called my mum, my brother or my home to report a lost phone. Thus I came to the conclusion that my phone was in my office after all.

I felt really lost without my phone. All these gadgets to make things convenient, I have taken for granted. How in the world did I survive not having a mobile in the past? In the past, people were able to reach me somehow by using the landline. And if we asked someone out, that person would turn up because there was no way he / she could have gotten a message across indicating he / she would be late or something cropped up.

Now, with modern technology, people tend to be late, or worse, stand you up altogether. All it took was a short message saying he would be late, or that he had something on at the last minute and could not come after all.

Granted at times there are emergencies, but seems like with modern technology and fancy gadgets, people become more irresponsible and unreliable. Their stress levels are higher, because once they send a short message or call you, they expect an answer immediately. Otherwise they will just keep calling until they reach you.

In the era of no mobile phones, people tend to be more patient. They would call your home to reach you, and if they could not reach you, so be it. They either left a message waiting for you to call back, or they would call back a while later, hoping to reach you again. With mobile phones, people get flustered once you did not pick up the phone, then they tried calling every few minutes, or rang your landline.

The thing is, if you are not answering the phone, it means something cropped up. You could be in a meeting, or you could be somewhere where phones were not allowed. To tell the truth, I will never bring my mobile out to lunch during weekdays. I do not entertain anyone during lunch hour, because I only have that time to interact with colleagues, or run errands, so I prefer not to be disturbed.

Even with a mobile, do people seriously expect you to be available to answer the call twenty four seven? I need time for myself too! My mobile may not be with me all the time! Thus, with modern technology, people seem to become worse than before – more stressed up, flustered, impatient, unreliable, irresponsible and more cowardly – because if you ask them a question they have no answer to, they totally just ignore and not reply. Sad that things have to become like this!

A Social Butterfly?

Just did a personality quiz and this is what came out. Took me by surprise, I should say, as this is a first! Despite that, the quiz is a pretty accurate assessment of me! Maybe I took this at this stage in my life with my feelings and emotions at this stage, the results turn out different from before. So if I really am a social butterfly, then I have succeeded in taking charge of this aspect at least! :-)

The Social Butterfly

You are...

Friendly. Sociable. A positive thinker. Light hearted. Animated. Stylish. Open. Emotional. Convincing. Magnetic. Enthusiastic. Persuasive. Warm. Demonstrative. Trusting. Optimistic.

Your strengths...

You are a great encourager. Through your optimism, you inspire others to achieve. You are an instinctive communicator and you usually just know exactly what to say. You are enthusiastic and you work well with people. You love people; hence you usually accomplish your goals through people. You have a positive attitude and you can always create an atmosphere of love and well-being.

Dating Advice for The Social Butterfly

1. Slow down. You tend to speak really fast. Remember to slow down your pace when you are on your date. Try to mirror your date, and adjust your speaking speed accordingly. The down side is they tend to be impulsive and inattentive to details.

2. Be less emotional. The Social Butterfly tends to be an emotional creature. Learn to exercise control over your actions, words and emotions, especially your words. Do not get too flooded with your emotions, but focus on the facts, and also the reality.

3. Pay attention to details. The Social Butterfly can sometimes come across as superficial and lack sincerity. Pay more attention to the details. Rather than sweeping remarks such as, "You are so beautiful!" or "You look great!" - take time to appreciate the efforts taken e.g. a matching bracelet and earring, or interesting cufflinks.

4. Talk less; listen more. You are very enthusiastic, and might get carried away hogging most of the conversation. Give some airtime to your date as well.

If you are dating The Social Butterfly

1. Don't suggest that you guys do nothing but stay at home over the weekend. The Social Butterfly needs social time, time to meet up with friends. It is through talking and socializing that they recharge. [Not true in this context. I have no qualms staying home and just relax over the weekend!]

2. The Social Butterfly does not like to handle details. If you guys are planning a trip, best is you do the planning so that you do not get frustrated with the lack of planning being done! [Not true too! I enjoy doing the planning for the trip, even to the littlest details!]

3. The Social Butterfly loves praises. The Social Butterfly yearns to be accepted. Say thank you for the sweet gesture. Be appreciative, and you will win his/her heart.

4. When arguing, do not stone-wall The Social Butterfly. Their greatest fear is rejection. They work much better in a favorable and friendly environment.

Mix And Mingle

More and more dating agencies have set up online services. Out of curiosity, I went in to take a look, and seems like quite a number have success stories. My friend recently met a lady online from one of these services. Why is it so easy for people?

I have dabbled in online services for a couple of years, and it has not worked for me. Nine out of ten people are dubious, they are only interested in getting laid, and not interested to even make decent conversation. The one out of ten who are decent, we met up once or twice and that was it, they never bother keeping in contact after that.

It is the same with those dating agencies. Of course, with dating agencies things are better as the people are more decent and really hoping to meet more people and expand one's social circle. Afterall, I do not think anyone pays so much just to fool around. So I have made some friends from that channel, but at the end of the day, still nothing.

In any case, this year I am being rather involved in things. The Revel event was a let down, not because it was not fun, but because I did not manage to meet interesting people. I was saddled with a kid the whole night! The Bedazzled event was also kind of a letdown for me, because I happened to be at a table where the ladies were so quiet and the guys were so irritating.

Yet one really never knows. I went over to my friend's table after the event, intending to ask him if he would like to go for drinks after that. Those at my table scattered after that, no one bothered to mingle and stay on for supper or drinks, everyone just rushed off. What is the point of going to events like these intending to know more people when you rush off at the first opportunity, without even bothering to mix and mingle?

Anyway, half of the people at my friend's table was still around, so we ended up chatting. Most of the guys were gone though, only the girls were left, save for my friend and another guy. We started conversing and then went out for drinks after that. We even exchanged numbers! So it ended up that it was the girls at my friend's table whom I have been keeping in touch with.

Then they had a gathering last month after the event, and asked me to go along. From there I met the other guy who was at the table. As with events like these, along the way people do not bother following up, but I must say this group is pretty lively. They meet up and take part in activities. Even the guy who is very quiet, he makes the effort to mingle and go out with the rest of us, as he says otherwise he will just be stuck at his computer at home.

And from there, some of us went ice-skating, and on Saturday, they will be coming to my place for the gathering. Not to mention another gathering next month after my friend and I return from Phuket.

So you really will not know what kind of people you come across! People can become friends over any kind of circumstances, and from there, perhaps some may find their other halves, perhaps some may make even more friends and eventually find someone, and some may just enjoy having friends without finding anyone. At the end of it all, one really will not know who will come into your life at the most unexpected times!

Planning A Gathering ....

The gathering this Saturday was initially a meeting for those going to Phuket with me. Then my ice-skating coach said she loves to travel, and would like to go to South Africa with us if that is possible, so we invited her along to meet the other travel mates. However, since she was invited, it did not seem nice if we did not invite the rest too. So we invited the rest, and before anyone knew it, the invitation became open to other friends too.

In the end, I ended up with twenty people from just five. That will be really fun! This is the first time I organized a party for people from different social circles. I have organized parties before, but only for those of the same group, but this is the first time I am undertaking such a “massive project”.

So those who are coming are friends I go travelling with, friends I met at the recent Valentine’s Day gala event, friends I met through mutual friends and lunch / dinner dates, friends from church, friends I met online., friends of friends, friends from my workplace. Just all together to mix and mingle and have fun! I am sure looking forward to that!

Being Chummy With Authority ...

People know I am not one who is comfortable with authority. I mean, I am on good terms with immediate supervisors (most of the time anyway), but I tend to be more wary against higher authority. My friend has told me not to worry because those higher authorities are also human, and they asking to talk may not necessary bode trouble.

Still when the Managing Director summoned me to his room yesterday, I had a panic attack. All the more so since my company is now getting rid of staff at the slightest thing, and the Human Resources Manager just stepped out of his room before he asked for me. Any situation like that, I would think I was in trouble, especially for those who know who is the one behind all those politics.

In any case, because he summoned me, I could not not go, so I went in quietly. It turned out that he just wanted to brief me on certain areas I need to follow up on. I was done in a few minutes. Whew! That was a big relief!

Alright, I was scaring myself again, but in times like these, everyone is holding on to their seats, and being summoned to see a higher authority who would otherwise normally not talk to you is not something to look forward to.

I do notice a trend though. The Managing Director, the senior directors, they have no qualms talking to someone like me, who is like five ranks below them. Yet someone who is just one or two ranks above me, refuse to talk to me and always convey messages through third parties, which is rather inconvenient because the messages may end up distorted.

It seems like the higher you go, the more humble you are. Of course there are other extremes, but I guess in general, those who are able to reach that rank should be someone broad minded with high levels of IQ and EQ in the first place.

Which explains why those who are mid-ranked tend to throw their weight around, because they think they can rise up thus start bullying those below them. But if they are really capable, they would not remain stuck in that rank all these while without rising further!

Restlessness And Sleeplessness

My new image debuted yesterday at the office. The moment I stepped in, the cute receptionist started gushing. A few colleagues said the hair colour suits me. Overall, it was a positive response! So the experiment worked out fine, thank goodness!

For some reason, I hardly slept a wink last night. I was tossing and turning in bed the whole night long, something that had never happened for a long time now. Maybe it is due to the excitement of planning a house party this weekend. Or perhaps due to something else?

I met a friend (A) for dinner last night. We met through a dating agency last year, and I take him as a good friend and quite enjoy his company. However, I was unable to establish how he really felt towards me – whether just as a friend, or if he wanted anything further, because for a period of time he was giving rather confusing signals.

I was in a dilemma for a while, because I was kind of a little more interested in someone else (B), whom for now we are kind of buddies. Nevertheless, we (A and I) would meet up once in a while, often because he would ask me out and I did not mind hanging out with him.

This year, he seemed a little distant. Once in a while, I would ask him if he would like to join in any of the group outings I have been in this year, but he was always not free. One tends to know if a guy has lost interest, and I guess he probably found someone.

Still, we met up for dinner last night. Somehow things are different. He used to be warm and friendly and at ease, but last night I sensed he felt a little uncomfortable in my company. Something was not right. I am not sure if it was because we had not met up for a while, but whatever it was, something was definitely not right. I felt it too.

Then he told me he is attached, to a girl he met through the agency too. I was really happy to hear that! I congratulated him! I said I guessed as much because he suddenly seemed so busy nowadays. I am genuinely happy for him, and relieved too! Relief that he found someone, so I no longer have any dilemma over who to choose in the end if in the event that really happens.

Still, the meet up last night was different. We were acting like strangers, uncomfortable with each other. I am not sure if it is due to his change in status, but whatever it is, I felt sad after that. Where we used to go for dinner then sometimes drinks after that, last night he seemed to want the dinner to end quickly. Where he used to drive slowly and lingered a bit, he was driving so fast yesterday as if he could hardly wait to drop me off.

Hmmmm… I can understand where he is coming from, but still, I am sad that things have to become this way. I thought of not losing a good friend, but as it is, I seem to have already lost a good friend, now that he is attached and all.

Normally we would meet up after he or I come back from a trip, so I said we could catch up again after I come back from Thailand, but he said he would have to see. I told him to bring his girlfriend along next time, and he said okay. So that was it.

That is not why I ended up with a sleepless night though. I am very happy he found someone, although I am a tad disappointed over his actions. It is as if we can no longer be friends or on the same comfort level with each other, just because he found someone.

If I am to find anyone, I for sure will not drop any of my guy friends, especially those I am close to! I am confident that the right person will be just as enthusiastic meeting up with my friends, be they male or female, and enthusiastic in letting me know his friends, of whatever gender!

So if I am feeling happy, why did I lose sleep? When I reached home, I happened to talk to B and he told me about a girl he met online, and was going on and on gushing about her. He is one of those I really like to talk to, so we were injecting jokes in the conversation. However, the way he kept going on about the girl triggered off some feelings of discomfort in me.

Knowing the kind of person he is, she must be someone really spectacular. Just like knowing the kind of person I am, those I tend to become good friends with are rather spectacular people in their own right. In fact, I told him I would love to know her, since I like to get to know spectacular people who can challenge me intellectually and get me exposed to things in life!

So why did I feel uncomfortable then? So uncomfortable that I felt chest constrictions and could not sleep for the night, resulting in gastric and feelings of nausea this morning? There were only three other times when I felt this way – first was in my teens when I just got out of an abusive relationship, the second was in my mid-twenties when my world came crashing down for a while, and the third was that year in my life when I was under lapse of depression.

Only difference was the previous times, I ended up crying the whole night through (and many nights after that), but this time, I felt nothing emotionally except the discomfort in my chest and stomach. In fact, I felt at peace internally. Wonder if it is really just a coincidence that I happened to be physically uncomfortable just at that moment? Or is it due to something else altogether?

Pandora's Box ....

Thanks to a friend who told me to download the Pandora Recovery program, I got most of my data back. Actually, the Pandora is so good that whatever websites I surfed and whatever I downloaded in the past but deleted away, the icons were all recovered. In the end, I ended up with a whooping forty-five thousand, eight hundred and seventy-three recovered data!

It is going to take me a long while to figure out which is which, which can just be gotten rid of, which has to be saved, which has to be categorized accordingly. At least one glance and I saw most, if not all, of my photos have been recovered! That is the most important thing!

Come to think of it, it is scary, is it not? Professionals use this program to recover data, but they may end up recovering more than they have bargained for. I do not have anything whatsoever to do with nudist or porn in my laptop, but already I got back much more than what I expected.

In other words, those who have been surfing porn and saving other kinds of data in their computers, may likely not know that those can be recovered even if they deleted everything away! No wonder the poor actor got into such hot soup! Not that I condone what he did (or did not do), but the fellow who stumbled upon those and publicized them was more at fault, for invasion of privacy!

Packing For Beach

Packing for a beach resort is not as easy as one thinks. The temptation is to just throw in anything that is sleeveless, any swim suit and wrap. But the trouble is coordinating the outfit. Alright, I know no one is probably going to look at me, but it is a personal thing. I will never be caught dead wearing something totally mismatching.

What did I pack for Bintan all those years ago? I was younger than, barely out of my teens, so wore clothes which kids of those times wore. I remember wearing a jumper with a black T-shirt on the boat ride there. Then I changed into my new (then) olive bikini, and a grey tank top with a short sarong wrap skirt over it, complete with thongs.

The next morning, we spent a day at the beach. I wore the same bikini with a blue sarong wrapped over it. My ex bought me that sarong at a night bazaar near his home the eve of our departure. He has pretty good taste too.

Of all the guys I have been with, he was the only one I actually trust to buy clothes and jewellery for me, because our tastes were pretty similar. The others had tried, but I would much rather buy my own as I would grimace at the things they bought for me! I do not mean to sound ungrateful, but I really do not like what they got for me! Still, I accepted and kept them as it was the thought that counted.

Anyway, after the beach in the morning, we went to the spa in the evening. Then we went back to the resort to shower before going for a night out. I wore the same blue sarong skirt, matched with a white halter top.

The next day, we took a trip to the golf course. It was our last day in Bintan, and we were due back on the afternoon ferry, so I wore a green batik print sundress with a white T-shirt. The effect must have been good, as I look good in the pictures. But then again, at that age, anyone looks good! :-(

It has been so many years now. I am already way out of my tweens, teens and adulthood. I cannot possibly wear the same kind of clothes I used to wear when I was that age. It simply does not work. What looks good on me ten years back will look weird on me now. Nevertheless, there are still some things I can carry off.

For instance, I am sure not going to wear a bikini so exposed anymore, at least not this time. I did not have a slight tummy bulge then, but now….. So I have to resort to a tankini. Even then, my flabby thighs and bum will protrude. Oh well….

Perhaps I just need to pack in a long flowing skirt that can double up as a tube dress too, and also another sarong. It is only a weekend getaway, I do not need to drag a whole cabin bag along, maybe just a backpack will do!

(Another) Image Revamp!

Alright, I have caved in to temptation again! I just had another image revamp! Considering I have not had a major change in image since mid 2006 (the last hair straightening in 2007 does not count as I needed to get a hairdo anyway before attending my cousin’s Mediterranean wedding), I thought it was time for a change, otherwise I will look the same boring person, which could pass off as “okay” when I was still in my twenties, but which will now become “haggard” at this age.

Alright, why this time? Any special occasion? None whatsoever. No major upheavals, be it in emotional or professional. In fact, things have been rather stagnant lately, save for the rushing of assignments. Hmmm… maybe that is the reason, that I got my brain fried from too much stress and mugging? :-p

I guess the real reason is that I just got sick of how I look like and decided on a change. Besides, if I do not do it this time round, I cannot do it anymore, as I will be snorkeling in Phuket and the hair job needs ample time to settle. Plus, I have to seriously tighten my belt after the Phuket trip in lieu of a pay cut, so I cannot afford to do anything else after that!

My last rebonding job lasted pretty long. In fact, if I did not cut my hair last year, it would have lasted until now. Unfortunately I was having split ends and the highlights were fading, so I needed to cut those off, and my hair curled itself back after that. Since then, for the past half a year or so, I have not had a hair cut, and I am paying for it by having bad hair days almost everyday!

Of course there are things I can do, like intensive conditioner, hair straighteners and treatments, but those are very time-consuming. Normal days I do not have the time for that. The only time I can actually use those are weekends, if I have half a day to myself. So for most days, I end up using just normal shampoo and conditioner. Even though the hair looks straight, it will only last for a few hours the most.

Now, it is perpetually messy, limp, frizzy and wavy. I look like a fright! Where I could just swipe my comb through my hair, now the ends start bundling up again, and I need a hairbrush to get rid of all the mess. Where my hair was soft and silky, now it feels oily and dry at the same time.

So I decided to stop all these trouble and just go for another colouring and rebonding job. I decided on light golden brown this time, with a layered side fringe. I was figuring out where to go for a good and not so expensive hair job. I could go back to the neighbourhood salon I frequent, where they charge me less than half the price of what the more established salons charge, with lasting and good effects.

However, they will not do a colouring and rebonding job on the same day. I do not have the time to keep going back. I am having a party next week, and my hair needs to be ready by then. So I asked around and searched for a place where they give good colouring and rebonding jobs, all in one day!

Finally, I stumbled upon a forum and saw that a certain chain of salons give pretty good service, and the price is very reasonable too! Of course, I do not expect the price to be as low as the neighbourhood salon, but it is not that much of a difference, definitely lower than if I am to go to any of the established ones!

I wanted to go tomorrow, but I figured why wait? The earlier I get it done, the more time it can take to settle before it gets exposed to the salt water. So I decided to go down after work today. The only thing is I was not sure if they would be willing to open late, as by the time I went down, it would have been at least around six in the evening.

I gave the salon a call after lunch, and was told I could go down around six and do a hair colouring, trimming and rebonding job in one! That would take me at least four or five hours, which means, by the time I was done, it would be almost close to midnight! What made me feel good is that the salon actually closes at eight today, but the stylist was willing to stay for me! Now that is good customer service indeed!

I was a little late reaching there though due to the heavy traffic around town. Still, when I reached there, the stylist put me under steam, gave me a special cream for a soft rebond job, then straightened my hair using hair straighteners, before applying the final cream to make it sleek and straight.

The next step is to choose a colour. The colour palette I was given did not seem that accurate, so I tried to describe the colour I wanted as concise as possible. Luckily the hairstylist understood my description and gave me a light copper brown, with golden highlights. Not really the desired effect, but close enough.

Finally, she put a special hair masque on my hair to protect it from all the chemicals and treatments. The package itself includes a special shampoo and conditioner, but I had to get a hair masque as an extra in order to give my hair an intensive conditioner once a week. All in all, it was still within budget!

No one save for my family members have seen me in my new image. Wonder if this experiment succeeds or fails? The salon gave good service and a satisfactory hair job, but to be honest, I think I will go back to the usual neighbourhood salon I go to in the future, because the standard of the hair job I do there is on par (perhaps even better) with the established salons, the hairstylist knows my taste and the owner still charges me special rate after all these years!

Transportable Program

I attended a lunch time talk today organized by my company, on Transportable Insurance Coverage. The talk is a short overview of what coverage the company offers, especially if we are to leave our current company. In other words, where the company’s insurance coverage only applies when we are still employees, this coverage will cover us even if we are to leave the employment, and carried over to the next place of employment.

This is a good idea! Instead of having to go under the coverage of a totally new policy altogether, we can carry over our existing policy at corporate rates! The coverage looks pretty attractive too! Although I have a feeling it benefits more for families, like coverage for myself and my spouse, my children, parents and in-laws. Somehow it does not talk so much on coverage as a single person and for your parents. Hmmm…

It is good that everyone is pro-family nowadays, but singles like me are feeling more and more left out. Does it mean to say we are not entitled to the same priviledge? And it is not as if I am single by choice, I just have not found anyone suitable enough (and vice versa) to have a family with.

But I must say, the representatives giving the talk is really customer oriented! The talk is free for the staff (whoever who signed up at any rate), and a small buffet lunch consisting of rice, vegetables and meat (a balanced diet!) is also offered. So we ate and listened at the same time. Around the end of the talk, the guy in a suit and tie went around to everyone, helping them clear their plates and drinks. Now, this is good service!

Outcry!

I cannot believe that a certain big insurance company that got bailed out is in trouble again, by giving the employees big bonuses, when everyone in every part of the world is now cutting down staff! Even for us, we are only given a minimal amount and having a pay cut, and recently there have been people who have had their services terminated.

Yet, those big wigs can use taxpayer’s money to give big annual dues to their staff! True, it is stipulated in their employment contract, but sometimes whatever that is stated in black and white are just that – words. They are inanimate, whereas people can be flexible. If the company is doing well and making money on its own accord, no one will bother how much bonus they pay to the staff.

But if the company was on the brink of collapsing and it took a big government grant to save them, then they should at least be “grateful” and start prioritizing in restructuring the company, instead of being extravagant by going on expensive retreats and giving big bonuses! Because of this, the government may not want to bail out any other company!

I must hand it to the new guy. He really put his foot down and demanded the staff return all the bonuses. Unfortunately, some left after getting the bonus. So he imposed a tax so as to get back the money. Hats off to this guy!

At least he is showing he means business when he said he would try his best to help the country tide over their financial troubles. Hopefully he is really able to clean up the mess left by the predecessor and become another enigmatic leader!

Concept Of Mind Mapping

Just finished a mind mapping assignment. I have learnt about mind mapping years ago at a holiday study camp, but I never did master it, as I always thought how is anyone to remember anything if there is only one word per branch?

Mind mapping is to tap into both your left and right brains. Since I have always been a right-brainer (or no-brainer), concepts and analytics do not work for me. Hence, I have to use colours, images and stories to help me out. During university years, I discovered that in using colours to write my notes, it really helps me, as I recall the colour and immediately I was able to remember the facts!

This works especially well in heavy-going subjects with lots of facts to remember, like History, Law, Psychology, and general humanities subjects. Some people can remember just by reading the notes and textbooks without needing to make their own notes, whereas someone like me who never has a good memory need to rely on colours and images.

Back when I was doing law, a tutor taught us concept mapping. Concept mapping is different from mind mapping. Concept mapping is to write the topic on top of the paper, then from there branch out into the different points. Each key word is in a box, and you link the key words together with other key words. That helps a bit in understanding the topic, but not as useful in remembering facts.

This semester, I have to do a mind mapping module. After going through the lectures and tutorials, I realise that it is not as easy as it looks to master the concept of mind mapping. The rules are very stringent. First, the paper has to be plain, devoid of lines, images and background. And it has to be landscape size.

Second, the central image has to be something that is the core of the topic. One look at the central image and anyone can tell what the topic is about. Third, the lines of the first main branch must be thick, and thinner secondary branches. Lines must be as long as the word in each branch.

Fourth, there should be only one word per branch. The key word in the main branch has to be big caps, the rest can be in small letters. Fifth, different colours are to be used. We were told to use at least four different colours. Sixth, the structure of the mind map has to be such that every branch follows through, and one look at the mind map one can remember the whole topic.

Whoa.. that is hard indeed! No wonder I always tend to fail where mind maps is concerned! I can never get the perfect mind map! Nevertheless, the topic opens my eyes up to what needs to be done, so hopefully my studies can go by easier and smoother!

Seeing Hope ....

I came across a heartwarming scene last week. An acquaintance and I were making our way to a cafe, when we saw a couple having their wedding pictures taken. The bride was taking the photos first, so the groom was by himself. When he turned around, I saw a curly-haired middle-aged man in the groom attire, holding on to a bouquet.

From the back view, the bride looked pretty and elegant. However, when I got to the front, I realise she is middle-aged too. Both the bride and groom look to be in their fourties at least! I was just remarking to my friend that this shows that there is still hope, that they can find each other at this age!

Sometimes I wonder, maybe the reason women are seen as "desperate" to find someone before a certain age, can it be because the men themselves only accept women up to a certain age? Afterall, men, no matter how old they are, still look for a younger lady, especially if she still can conceive easily. Traditionally, younger women are more fertile and "better-looking" as compared to older women.

To be honest, I think older women are more mature, capable, independent and better able to handle things properly as they are less emotional. They may not whine as much as younger women. They know how to take care of men better than younger women. And they are not as attention-seeking. In short, older women "have it all together", so to speak. Yet, because they are not as biologically fertile as younger women, they are often overlooked.

It is the same thing why younger women go for older men. Older men are more mature, more experienced (in terms of life experiences, not anything else!), more interesting and "have it all together", as compared to younger men. I am not saying that is always the case. Life experiences and exposure also depends on the kind of life you have and your attitudes and values towards things.

Still, after seeing that bridal photography scene, I feel happy as perhaps there is still hope? Maybe that couple happens to be those lucky ones that is few and far in between? But I can still dream right? No harm dreaming, perhaps one day my dream may just come true! Although I hope it will not have to be another ten years, hopefully just within this year or another year at most!

Rubber Legs On Ice!

The first ice-skating lesson went by pretty smoothly, for someone of my standards. I am not a sports person, so being able to cruise round the ice and balance on the skates is actually better than expected already, considering how many times I fell on the ski slopes.

Some people feel skiing is easier, as all one needs to do is to strap on the skis and slide down the slopes by the force of gravity, whereas skating one has to move with the skates. I beg to differ. I feel skating is easier. It is such a chore strapping on the skis with all the snow in the first place! Whereas for skating, it is much easier putting on skates (just like normal shoes), and standing and balancing on the ice rink.

In any case, I managed to cruise a few rounds. There were times when I felt like stumbling, but I quickly held on to the railings. My friend-cum-coach and another friend guided me along, but most times I was left alone and was able to just cruise round without needing to hold on to anything! Of course I could not move as fast as I liked, but at least I managed to go a few rounds with only one fall!

In the rink, I saw a few kids doing spins and twirls all on their own! It was as if they were doing ballet on ice! That was what got me interested in ice-skating in the first place, all those years ago, when I saw how people could do pirouettes on the ice!

My friend said I seemed to be doing well, and after about ten lessons, I should be able to skate with spins and whatnots. I can hardly wait for it! Ten lessons consistently, and perhaps I can really skate well! Hmmm.. after the skiing last year, skating this year, maybe I really should go diving next!

Out Of Sorts Again ....

It had been a marathon of a week. Besides rushing through some work which are totally unnecessary but just because of my profession I need to do it, I had to rush an assignment that was due today. Furthermore, I went for my first ice-skating lesson on Wednesday night, and sent out party invitations to a gathering I am organising end of the month.

Now I am under the weather. Must have been the dratted rain that did it. I was caught in the rain on Monday on my way back from lunch, and the office was freezing cold. I was cold, wet and freezing. On Tuesday, the weather was hot, humid and the sun was scorching. Wednesday was gloomy.

When I felt my throat being itchy yesterday and started having sniffles, I knew I was down again! Luckily I could take the day off today to rest. Hopefully I would be able to recuperate during the weekend!

Logistics Of Concert Attendance

I am still looking to pass my Good Friday Cats ticket to whoever who is interested. Having said that, I managed to get a ticket to the Distant Worlds Asian Premiere. Tickets are mostly sold out already, so I am very lucky to be able to still get one! The price of the tickets is pretty reasonable considering the popularity of the game series, and the way the tickets are being grabbed!

I have also managed to get another ticket to Cats, as well as “Much Ado About Nothing” for Shakespeare In The Park! This time round, I am pretty sure I am able to make it, and I must make it, no matter what happens! No way am I going to throw my money this way again! A pity I am not able to make it for "Importance of Being Earnest" though.

Another upcoming concert that I plan to catch is the Rainforest World Festival. I have wanted to go for quite some time, but somehow never did get the time or chance. This time I should go and see how it is like. Imagine tribal music, folklore music, all in the enclosure of a Cultural Village!

Only thing is I must fly to Sarawak for this, but that is not a problem. Tickets are dirt cheap on budget airlines, and I am thinking of flying Air Asia, since it is the cheapest and the timing is good too. At least I need not take an additional day off, unlike Tiger Airways! A three-day pass is pretty reasonable as well, much cheaper than a mere two-hour concert!

Only thing is I need to source for accommodation, cheap accommodation to be exact. What can I say? I am an official “cheapskate” in the interim so as to be able to blow a bit more in Africa. I tried sourcing online, but all the hotels stated are Hilton, or Four Seasons or Holiday Inn. Well, if I can afford Hilton or Four Seasons or Holiday Inn, I will have booked any of them directly!

Cheap accommodation is not easy. I do not wish to go through what I went through in New Zealand and Tokyo – having a bunk for a bed, and sharing the bathroom and washroom with so many strangers! However, if I need an attached bathroom, then the price will not be what I desire.

Still, I continued searching, and finally found the Tune Hotel chain. The price is unbelievable! I did a search at the room, and found that there is ensuite bathroom and shower facilities, with toiletries provided. In short, every bit of necessity as required of a hotel room!

The only catch is that there is no air-conditioning. Or rather, air-conditioning can be supplied at an extra cost. No big deal for me. I can live without air-conditioning. In any case, the ceiling fan can be used with no extra charges. A pretty good deal if you ask me! Thus if I do make up my mind to go, I need to start booking early!

Being On Ice ....

I start ice-skating lessons tomorrow. Okay, this is very sudden. What happened was one of my friends is an amateur ice hockey player, and she is willing to teach some of us for free, except we pay the entrance fees and rental of skates. So we are starting the first session tomorrow!

I have always been interested in ice-skating since young. I used to see how people dance on ice, so I had this idea of combining ballet with ice-skating. However, that never came to pass as I was always involved in so many things.

But now, since it is such a good deal, I thought why not utilise the opportunity and learn something I have always wanted to learn? Afterall, if I do not have this chance, I will never be bothered to get my bum down to the ice-skating rink and sign up for lessons!

Hopefully I will not end up with too many falls and bum ache, like what happened on the ski slope!

Bookworm Deluxe : The Best I Could

I just finished reading this book by a prominent criminal lawyer. Pretty inspiring, and a different angle to the case(s) than what was reported in the papers. Having always been interested in criminal law and justice, I bought this book the moment it came out in the stores.

The book highlights his life, his childhood, how he stumbled into law and into criminal law, his first case, his health, his more prominent cases, his university years and the important people he met and rubbed shoulders with.

I have wondered about the man behind the cases. I have wondered why he would want to take on "hopeless" cases. Why must he defend those who obviously committed the crime, in the hope of getting them off scot free? Is it because of money?

Then when I read the book, at least according to him, most of the cases the client's families have no money to pay his full fees. So either he told them to go to the State to request for his services, in which case the State will pay him, or else reduce his fees. Hmmm....

Then as I read on, I realise that as a lawyer, and a criminal defence lawyer, his is not to question whether the client is guilty or not. He just wants the client to tell the truth to him and in court. Cases where the clients are obviously guilty, he will encourage them to plead guilty. He just tries his best and then leave it to the judge to hand out the final verdict.

I must say, after reading the book, our local justice system is fair and unbiased indeed! Which is why criminals seldom get away, and we have the highest number of executions per capita, for countries that still practice the death penalty.

Judging from some of his defences, he is really brilliant! I guess he does not become who and what he is by screwing up cases and making a mess in court! If I were to become a Deputy Public Prosecutor as initially thought, I would have the chance of meeting him in court, and perhaps get my evidence shredded and thrown out!

Book Ends!

Last week, I ordered a book online. A few days ago, I received a mailer stating that the book has arrived, asking me to collect the next day. The following day, I went to the stipulated bookshop, only to be told that the book has not yet arrived, and that they would call me once the book is in.

When I was about to leave the bookshop, I chanced upon the same book. So I took the book and went to the counter, asking if I could just take the book instead, then when the book I ordered arrive, they could just replace it, so I did not have to make another trip down.

However, the sales assistant said no, because the stock number of the book on display is different from the book I ordered, as the latter will be despatched directly from the warehouse. I was disappointed of course, but what else can I do about it except making a wasted trip?

Luckily the shop called me the next day and told me the book had arrived. So I went down again and this time, managed to get the book I ordered. It was gift-wrapped in very nice paper too! I must say, despite their rigidity and inflexibility, the service is pretty good!

A Bad Hangover!

This must be the worst hangover ever! I woke up with a throbbing headache, churning stomach and a dry throat. Within two hours, I have vomitted once, and gone to the bathroom four times to get rid of the stuff in my churning stomach. Luckily my mum is out, I will have no end of it if she finds out about this!

Last night started off as a good night. Four of us went to Aston's Prime for dinner. We have heard raving reviews about the place, so decided to check it out, since three of us are staying near the area where the restaurant is located. All of us ordered steak - two tenderloins, one ribeye and one striploin.

The main course comes with two servings of side, which we could choose from the list. The food is good, and there is no service charge nor tax, just a flat rate! Very good value for money! After that, we went down to Zirca where my friend left behind the half bottle of McClellan whisky the last time we were there, so we decided to go and finish the bottle as it could only be held for a month.

I did not feel this way the last time I drank whisky. And that was after the Revel event, where I drank orange vodka, bourbon coke and sake before that. Even though I drank a glass of whisky downed with lots of coke and green tea, I was still sober.

Last night, I drank lots of water at the restaurant before going to the club. Then I drank one glass of whisky downed with lots of green tea. After that, another glass of whisky with sparkling water. Then I downed it with lots and lots of green tea again. Then the bartender poured us the remaining whisky, so I drank another half a glass of whisky with sparkling water. At the same time, we ate lots of Calbee prawn crackers too!

I knew I was getting high, so I barely touched the last glass of sparkling whisky water. The place was crowded last night and filled with loud booming music. I could smell smoke on some of the people. Maybe that was what did it - liquor, loud music and smoke. A very lethal combination for me!

By the time we left, I could barely walk and had to sit down on the pavement. So my girl friend had to hold on to me and we then walked to Coffee Club for some hot drinks to sober up. I ordered Earl Grey tea, not one of the better ones I had tasted, but perhaps my taste buds are already full of liquor so could not taste much tea.

Despite the tea, I still did not feel well. My friends could tell as I was kind of leaning against the sofa seat and keeping so quiet, not the usual chatterbox. Finally we left and my guy friend and I then hitched a cab back together.

I crashed into bed almost immediately. Despite being totally comatose, I woke up with all the symptoms! I need to start training my alcohol intake so I will not make a fool of myself again! There are still bottles of wine leftover from New Zealand, so I may just drink a glass or so every night until my alcohol intake improves!

Obituary : The Bonus

It is with a great sadness that we report the loss of a once-beloved friend who was an inspiration to many of us. Our dearly departed once provided us with the incentive to work hard, and helped to lift us from mediocrity to excellence. We grieve, of course, for the investment-banking bonus.

During his relatively brief life, the deceased touched the lives of hundreds of thousands in a remarkable fashion. Born into a world where 'leverage' was King, he helped concentrate the mind, and provided focus to those of us who sorely needed it. When he spoke, people listened. And his admirers craved his friendship, and wanted to align themselves with him to form long-standing bonds.

Those close to him would not hesitate to testify how enriching his friendship once was, and how he elevated their lives to levels they could never have reached without his acquaintance.

His life, however, was not without controversy. Often his friendship was flighty. Those who relied too much on his allegiance found themselves in a state of despair, often discovering that his favours had changed, and that he had moved on to link arms with other partners.

Since people were aware of his volatile nature, however, they sometimes demanded written assurances of his loyalty - a practice which gained him a certain notoriety, and gave rise to jealousy from those not blessed by his favours.

In the later stages of his life, many of his friends were found to be involved in a global network of fraud, unethical dealings and various other misdemeanours. Unfortunately, when the extent of these activities came to light, our fair-weather friend was singled out for his negative influence on the many individuals at the heart of these aberrations.

Finding himself under intense scrutiny from politicians and the media, he finally succumbed to the pressure and quietly left the scene, leading the last few years of his life in relative obscurity and somewhat disgrace.

The likes of our friend Bonus will never be seen again. He is survived by his more modest long-term partner, Base Salary.

感谢曾经伤害过我们的人

I came across this meaningful article, about forgiveness and being grateful to those who have hurt you in some way, which I like to share, but it is in Chinese though. Took me quite a while to digest it, since my language is still not up to par!
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人生轨迹中会相遇两种人：一种人是帮助你的人，另一种人是伤害你的人。对于帮助你的人要怀有感恩之心，对于伤害你的人同样要怀有感谢之情。当然这种伤害是相对而言，不是所有的伤害我们都能谅解，过重的伤害谁也无法谅解，而伤害我们最重的莫过于亲人和朋友。

曾经伤害过我们的人我们要谢谢他们，因为他们的伤害才让我们坚强起来。逆境中能磨炼人的意志，让人变得更加坚强起来，因为他们的伤害让我们的内心世界波涛汹涌，发誓一定要让别人看看，看看让别人骄傲的一面。于是我们痛过后更加珍惜现在所拥有的一切，加倍努力完成自己心中的目标，是这种伤害激励着我们不断向前奋进。

曾经伤害过我们的人我们要谢谢他们，因为他们的伤害才让我们逐渐成熟起来。以前我们看问题总是那么简单，很容易相信别人，总认为是自己的亲人或朋友什么事都可以帮忙，什么话都可以说，当我们发现我们错了的时候付出的是惨重的代价，权当是一次次花钱免灾，花钱买教训，可是学费好像昂贵了一点，但它让我们懂得了什么是人生什么是生活，今后遇到类似情况后我们会三思而后行，会把问题考虑得周全一些，不让他们来伤害到自己，同时自己也不去伤害别人。

曾经伤害过我们的人我们要谢谢他们，因为他们的伤害才让我们有了今天的成就。每个人的一生都会经受很多伤害，在伤害中我们不但快速成长起来，同时学会了很多人情事故，学会了如何说话，学会了如何应对别人的谎言，如何在虚情假意中识破欺骗，如何识别肝胆相照的朋友。我们把这种伤害变成了激发我们的斗志和工作热忱，于是一步一步走向成功之路。

曾经伤害过我们的人我们要谢谢他们，因为他们的伤害才让我们学会了包容和理解，使我们的人生更加快乐和幸福。一个人如果一生生活在仇恨中，这个人的一生是很悲惨的，因为他一心想着去报复那些曾经伤害过自己的人，他的心中只有复仇，这股复仇的火焰燃烧着他自己同时也燃烧着别人。一个人的心灵每时每刻都不快乐，他还有什么？如果想想当时的情境难道我们没有错吗？也许亲人和朋友有难言之瘾，有他们不肯伸出双手拥抱你的理由，要学会换位思考。随着岁月的流逝当我们回想起当时的情境，冷静思索后我们还剩下多少恨？包容他们吧，只有这样我们才会快乐。也许有的人把伤害过你的人恨之入骨，但当你报复后你能快乐吗？也许有的会说只有我死了才能谅解他们，死后谅解他们又有谁会知道你已经谅解他们了，为什么不能在活着的时候谅解他们呢？所以快乐是一种包容和理解。让自己快乐一些吧，原谅他们吧。如果是自己的亲人和最好的朋友曾经伤害过你，多年以后请拿起电话告诉他们：当年是我的错，我要负全部责任。因为他们也在等待你这个电话，等待了许久许久。

曾经伤害过我们的人我们要谢谢他们，因为他们的伤害才让我们学会了什么是伤害。当我们自己经厉后深深懂得给别人带去的伤害是什么滋味，因为我们自己也曾经伤害过别人，今后我们不会再犯同样的错误了。伤害在我们的人生中是一种无法抹去的阴影，特别是亲人给予我们的伤害最重。如果父母伤害了你，他们是为你好，谁的父母不希望自己的孩子过得幸福，无论干了多少伤害自己亲人的事，父母都会原谅我们的伤害，在他们的心中我们永远是他们心中的孩子。为什么不替亲人想想，他们把我们养大为的就是伤害我们？为的就是让我们伤害他们吗？不是！他们仅仅想让孩子们好好活着，开开心心地活着健康地活着，我们心中的怨恨还要沉淀多久？

我们既是受害者又是责任者，你思考过这个问题吗？当你静静地想回忆这一切时，我们的心就会归于平静，因为我们每一个都有一颗包容的心，都有一颗博爱的心，我们不要伤害也不要去伤害别人，让我们快乐起来吧。

In A Fix ....

All those advise and talk about future planning are all nonsense! One cannot plan too far ahead, because you seriously will not know what will happen to you the next day. If I am to plot what I will become / do / achieve in the next ten years, who knows I may just fall down my stairs, knock my head and die the next day.

Okay, this is being rather morbid, but has anyone ever planned for something to do in the near future only to regret because it turns out that circumstances happened which you may not get to do it in the end? Just like I bought the ticket for the Cats musical on opening night - 10 April, long before we decided to take a trip to Phuket.

Now I am not able to go for the musical anymore because of the trip. I should have realised it earlier, but when we were planning the trip, I did not realise the musical happened to fall on the same day as I thought the opening night was on the 8! Which means I could still go for the musical then go on the trip!

However, a random check on the ticket shows 10 April, and now I am unable to go, and unable to get rid of the ticket. As most know, in general, the locals here are not really arts savvy. Those who are keen to go would have already gotten their tickets, and those who are not keen to go, would never go even if the ticket is free! Sad, but true!

So now I have to forgo this and try to buy another day and time. What a waste! Not to mention a few upcoming concerts that I am rather interested in catching - Distant Worlds, the music from Final Fantasy (the game series has one of the most beautiful and haunting music ever), and "Much Ado About Nothing"! How can I miss that especially when there is a character with the exact same name in it? Not to mention the dance version of Cinderella tomorrow!

Into Africa ....

As some of you may have noticed, I have changed my profile picture. I think that avatar looks more like me, right? :-p Plus I do have the red halter top which I dressed my "alter ego" in. A pity the profile only shows the top half, the bottom half is dressed in a pair of hipster jeans, which I have worn that combination numerous times.

In any case, another big budget project my friends and I are planning end of this year is a trip to South Africa. This is a place that will cost quite a bit, a place which I have always wanted to go, but my parents never go because they deem that as a dangerous place. My aunt's family went last year, and I was told they spent about S$4,500.00 per person, all in, as it was a package tour.

However, we will not be going on a package tour. Thus when I tried sourcing for air tickets to get the information, I got a shock of my life. Air fare there is very expensive! More expensive to go to Cape Town than Johannesburg! Can anyone imagine the air fare costs more than a whole package tour? In the end, I figured I rather get my tour agency to get the cheapest ticket for me.

Our proposed plan is as follows :

1. Cape Town - Cape of Good Hope, Table Mountain, Aquarium, Nature Reserve, Boulders Beach (for penguin sightings), Robben Island (where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned), Shark Diving, and maybe squeeze in a winery tour. After all, what is the use of going to South Africa without tasting South African wine?

2. Kruger National Park - lodgings and tour at a real safari, perhaps we may even get a chance to walk a lion cub! :-p

3. Victoria Falls - how can I ever miss out the famous icon of Livingstone and Stanley?

We would be self-driving, so it gives us the flexibility to weave our own itinerary. We would not be going to Johannesburg as the place is too commercialised, but still, we have to take the plane to Johannesburg as in the end, we would be taking a flight from Victoria Falls back to Johannesburg.

Thus, I am thinking of getting a return flight to Johannesburg, then taking a train to Cape Town from there. The train will pass by the whole of South Africa (since Johannesburg is at the eastern end and Cape Town is at the western end), so I may be able to catch sight of all the beautiful scenery out there! If there is time, I may even tour Johannesburg as well!

It is still too early to come up with any concrete plans, but for exotic places like these, it is best to plan early so we can book everything in advance to ensure places. But knowing how things are, there will always be last minute changes, especially with the airline industry being such a mess now.

Which means I have to cut down on almost everything else and save all my money in order to enjoy the trip! What is the point of going on a trip if you have to calculate every single cent you spend? That takes the fun out of it!

I am not saying I will spend millions, (in which case I do not even have millions), but just that when I am on a trip, I much rather enjoy and have fun instead of calculating every mere thing. Afterall, if one is to go on a trip, one should have set aside enough, and not start calculating only then.

So after my Phuket trip, I have to start scrimping and saving again, all the more so since we are going to have three days deducted every month from May onwards! Three days means ten percent, which is a lot!

Ten Ways To Stay In The Pink

I came across this article sent out by my Human Resource department. Pretty good tips actually!

Most of the things mentioned are pretty common sensical, but there are a couple which have been tried and tested by myself. For instance, ever since I stop fretting over things and just let myself go, stop being so emotional, I find myself to be in a better overall state of mind.

Also, ever since I started being more extroverted and talking to more people, getting used to just chatting up a storm, I find myself in a better and happier disposition. All these contributed to being in a better mental and physical state. I notice I hardly get sick ever since, as compared to in the past!

So these tips really do work! Although if we are to follow all ten ways religiously, does it mean we will never get sick again?

Proposed Phuket Itinerary

As most will have known, I will be going away on a short trip in April. Initially, I will be going on the night of Maundy Thursday and coming back on Easter itself, but due to some screw up on the part of the airline, I have to leave on Good Friday and coming back on Easter Monday.

In any case, it had been quite challenging planning this trip. People are arriving at different times (as expected), and due to further changes with the airline, some flights were changed back to the original timing, and some were bounced to the next available timing.

Not to mention the different activities for the different people. Some have completed their diving courses and would like to go diving, some would prefer snorkelling. I have no time (nor money) to go for a diving course right now, so I should be trying snorkelling. Hence, the proposed plan as follows :

First day - arrive in Phuket. Since we had only half a day left, we would probably be wondering around the beach and explore the area. Welcome dinner and drinks for the first night!

Second day - diving for some, snorkelling for some.

Third day - Island excursion, more diving and snorkelling. Probably a spa if time and finances allow.

Fourth day - Home Sweet Home.

I will be planning a gathering at my place some time later on this month to tie up all the loose ends, since we need to book the activities in advance. Hopefully all will be smooth-sailing!

Three Strikes!

There was a thunderstorm on Sunday afternoon, at least at my area. I was at home busy repairing my laptop and watching a show at the same time, when I saw the zigzagging of the lightning followed by a loud clap of thunder. The next thing I knew, the electricity went out.

Just when I wanted to check on the wiring, the electricity came back on again, within seconds. Ten minutes later, the same thing happened. A flash of lightning, followed by a clap of thunder, and the electricity went out again. Then it came back on again within seconds.

Another ten minutes later, the same thing happened. A flash of lightning followed by a loud clap of thunder, and the electricity fizzled out, yet again! I was waiting to see when the electricity would come back on, but this time round, it did not come back.

My maid had to go to the storeroom and fiddle with the switch before everything started coming back. Three strikes and everything go out indeed!

March-ing On ....

Is it March already? How did the first quarter swing by so fast that it is fast coming to an end? Initially I thought I would have made some changes to certain aspects in my life by now, but things are still as per normal. I am still single, still bouncing around, still working in the same job in the same company, still fighting politics.

At least my life has been more peaceful of late. Is it because people have given up and finally left me alone, or is it just the calm before the hurricane? Whatever it is, I have learnt that one should not go around pleasing everyone else. Just be yourself, people can either like it or not like it, and for those who do not like it, it is their own loss.

March is likely to be a busy month. Already there are some other departments bothering me with stuff that is not really within my scope but just because I took over certain things people assume I am in the know for all. If they can shirk their responsibilities, why must I then be the one to bear the brunt of it all?

Anyway, last week, I took some time off to do something, which I did not disclose. But now that everything is over, let me just say I went for another job interview at a certain company in the media industry that does exclusively sports coverage. In any case, the first time was with the General Counsel, and the second time was with the Human Resource Manager, and in the end I did not get it.

Oh well... it is hard to get a job nowadays. It is the employer's market now, and they have every right to be extra picky who they choose. Job negotiations are harder and harder at times like these, yet people are willing to take whatever that comes no matter what income. A very big difference when times are good and employees can get poached by several companies and they can then choose which one to take and negotiate on how much!

Which is why I can never fathom why some people deliberately throw away their jobs by causing problems. Things like surfing net while at work, et al are minor issues. Major issues like sleeping at your desk because you got drunk during office hours, or taking a four-hour lunch break just to go do your hair, or banging your boss' table just because he tried to talk to you, are sure killers!

It is so hard to get a job now, even my company has been implementing cost-cutting measures, so why would anyone deliberately sabotage their own career? In any case, hope we can march on to better times ahead for the rest of the year!

Computer Doctor!

I spent the past few days repairing my laptop. It had been rather cranky for the past year, but it was the past couple of weeks that real problems occurred. Firstly, I was not able to download anything anymore! I could download the file, but not able to access it and the download link could not work. That bodes bad news as I need to download all my online study materials!

Secondly, plugins could not work, and despite the times I tried to download, it was to no avail, considering since the downloads could not work at all. Thirdly, the laptop had been "hanging" more often than before, especially in the middle of doing my assignments.

So I called the repair shop, and was told it would cost me a hefty amount flat rate. In the end, I tried to self-service. I backed up all my important documents into the D drive. However, with the risk of all the data being wiped out since I had to reformat the whole thing, I saved everything into a DVD instead.

I popped in the recovery disk, and now, everything is running properly! I need to reinstall my software programs though, but that was not a problem as almost everything could be installed online. What is most important is that my downloads are finally working!

Unfortunately, I have no idea where I put my original Office 2007 disc, so in the end, I had to resort to using the online Open Office instead. What is worse is that for some reason, the DVD which I stored my documents in, somehow could not work! Which means all my school materials, songs, documents, and photos are gone! Boo hoo!

Luckily I still have the online albums and my course materials are available online and in hardcopies, but still, it is pretty heartbreaking as whatever that was found online are but limited. With my entire collection gone, I have to spend more time saving everything up again! :-(

The irony is that the D drive is still there, and if I had saved everything into the D drive instead, perhaps I could still retain all my stuff! Aaaarrrrrgh!!!!