My new image debuted yesterday at the office. The moment I stepped in, the cute receptionist started gushing. A few colleagues said the hair colour suits me. Overall, it was a positive response! So the experiment worked out fine, thank goodness!
For some reason, I hardly slept a wink last night. I was tossing and turning in bed the whole night long, something that had never happened for a long time now. Maybe it is due to the excitement of planning a house party this weekend. Or perhaps due to something else?
I met a friend (A) for dinner last night. We met through a dating agency last year, and I take him as a good friend and quite enjoy his company. However, I was unable to establish how he really felt towards me – whether just as a friend, or if he wanted anything further, because for a period of time he was giving rather confusing signals.
I was in a dilemma for a while, because I was kind of a little more interested in someone else (B), whom for now we are kind of buddies. Nevertheless, we (A and I) would meet up once in a while, often because he would ask me out and I did not mind hanging out with him.
This year, he seemed a little distant. Once in a while, I would ask him if he would like to join in any of the group outings I have been in this year, but he was always not free. One tends to know if a guy has lost interest, and I guess he probably found someone.
Still, we met up for dinner last night. Somehow things are different. He used to be warm and friendly and at ease, but last night I sensed he felt a little uncomfortable in my company. Something was not right. I am not sure if it was because we had not met up for a while, but whatever it was, something was definitely not right. I felt it too.
Then he told me he is attached, to a girl he met through the agency too. I was really happy to hear that! I congratulated him! I said I guessed as much because he suddenly seemed so busy nowadays. I am genuinely happy for him, and relieved too! Relief that he found someone, so I no longer have any dilemma over who to choose in the end if in the event that really happens.
Still, the meet up last night was different. We were acting like strangers, uncomfortable with each other. I am not sure if it is due to his change in status, but whatever it is, I felt sad after that. Where we used to go for dinner then sometimes drinks after that, last night he seemed to want the dinner to end quickly. Where he used to drive slowly and lingered a bit, he was driving so fast yesterday as if he could hardly wait to drop me off.
Hmmmm… I can understand where he is coming from, but still, I am sad that things have to become this way. I thought of not losing a good friend, but as it is, I seem to have already lost a good friend, now that he is attached and all.
Normally we would meet up after he or I come back from a trip, so I said we could catch up again after I come back from Thailand, but he said he would have to see. I told him to bring his girlfriend along next time, and he said okay. So that was it.
That is not why I ended up with a sleepless night though. I am very happy he found someone, although I am a tad disappointed over his actions. It is as if we can no longer be friends or on the same comfort level with each other, just because he found someone.
If I am to find anyone, I for sure will not drop any of my guy friends, especially those I am close to! I am confident that the right person will be just as enthusiastic meeting up with my friends, be they male or female, and enthusiastic in letting me know his friends, of whatever gender!
So if I am feeling happy, why did I lose sleep? When I reached home, I happened to talk to B and he told me about a girl he met online, and was going on and on gushing about her. He is one of those I really like to talk to, so we were injecting jokes in the conversation. However, the way he kept going on about the girl triggered off some feelings of discomfort in me.
Knowing the kind of person he is, she must be someone really spectacular. Just like knowing the kind of person I am, those I tend to become good friends with are rather spectacular people in their own right. In fact, I told him I would love to know her, since I like to get to know spectacular people who can challenge me intellectually and get me exposed to things in life!
So why did I feel uncomfortable then? So uncomfortable that I felt chest constrictions and could not sleep for the night, resulting in gastric and feelings of nausea this morning? There were only three other times when I felt this way – first was in my teens when I just got out of an abusive relationship, the second was in my mid-twenties when my world came crashing down for a while, and the third was that year in my life when I was under lapse of depression.
Only difference was the previous times, I ended up crying the whole night through (and many nights after that), but this time, I felt nothing emotionally except the discomfort in my chest and stomach. In fact, I felt at peace internally. Wonder if it is really just a coincidence that I happened to be physically uncomfortable just at that moment? Or is it due to something else altogether?
For some reason, I hardly slept a wink last night. I was tossing and turning in bed the whole night long, something that had never happened for a long time now. Maybe it is due to the excitement of planning a house party this weekend. Or perhaps due to something else?
I met a friend (A) for dinner last night. We met through a dating agency last year, and I take him as a good friend and quite enjoy his company. However, I was unable to establish how he really felt towards me – whether just as a friend, or if he wanted anything further, because for a period of time he was giving rather confusing signals.
I was in a dilemma for a while, because I was kind of a little more interested in someone else (B), whom for now we are kind of buddies. Nevertheless, we (A and I) would meet up once in a while, often because he would ask me out and I did not mind hanging out with him.
This year, he seemed a little distant. Once in a while, I would ask him if he would like to join in any of the group outings I have been in this year, but he was always not free. One tends to know if a guy has lost interest, and I guess he probably found someone.
Still, we met up for dinner last night. Somehow things are different. He used to be warm and friendly and at ease, but last night I sensed he felt a little uncomfortable in my company. Something was not right. I am not sure if it was because we had not met up for a while, but whatever it was, something was definitely not right. I felt it too.
Then he told me he is attached, to a girl he met through the agency too. I was really happy to hear that! I congratulated him! I said I guessed as much because he suddenly seemed so busy nowadays. I am genuinely happy for him, and relieved too! Relief that he found someone, so I no longer have any dilemma over who to choose in the end if in the event that really happens.
Still, the meet up last night was different. We were acting like strangers, uncomfortable with each other. I am not sure if it is due to his change in status, but whatever it is, I felt sad after that. Where we used to go for dinner then sometimes drinks after that, last night he seemed to want the dinner to end quickly. Where he used to drive slowly and lingered a bit, he was driving so fast yesterday as if he could hardly wait to drop me off.
Hmmmm… I can understand where he is coming from, but still, I am sad that things have to become this way. I thought of not losing a good friend, but as it is, I seem to have already lost a good friend, now that he is attached and all.
Normally we would meet up after he or I come back from a trip, so I said we could catch up again after I come back from Thailand, but he said he would have to see. I told him to bring his girlfriend along next time, and he said okay. So that was it.
That is not why I ended up with a sleepless night though. I am very happy he found someone, although I am a tad disappointed over his actions. It is as if we can no longer be friends or on the same comfort level with each other, just because he found someone.
If I am to find anyone, I for sure will not drop any of my guy friends, especially those I am close to! I am confident that the right person will be just as enthusiastic meeting up with my friends, be they male or female, and enthusiastic in letting me know his friends, of whatever gender!
So if I am feeling happy, why did I lose sleep? When I reached home, I happened to talk to B and he told me about a girl he met online, and was going on and on gushing about her. He is one of those I really like to talk to, so we were injecting jokes in the conversation. However, the way he kept going on about the girl triggered off some feelings of discomfort in me.
Knowing the kind of person he is, she must be someone really spectacular. Just like knowing the kind of person I am, those I tend to become good friends with are rather spectacular people in their own right. In fact, I told him I would love to know her, since I like to get to know spectacular people who can challenge me intellectually and get me exposed to things in life!
So why did I feel uncomfortable then? So uncomfortable that I felt chest constrictions and could not sleep for the night, resulting in gastric and feelings of nausea this morning? There were only three other times when I felt this way – first was in my teens when I just got out of an abusive relationship, the second was in my mid-twenties when my world came crashing down for a while, and the third was that year in my life when I was under lapse of depression.
Only difference was the previous times, I ended up crying the whole night through (and many nights after that), but this time, I felt nothing emotionally except the discomfort in my chest and stomach. In fact, I felt at peace internally. Wonder if it is really just a coincidence that I happened to be physically uncomfortable just at that moment? Or is it due to something else altogether?
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