No matter how down and depressed I feel, life goes on. At least this is what I have been telling myself. Otherwise I may have to check in for therapy again. Lately I have been losing sleep, worrying about things, depressed about things. I find I have become insanely paranoid, untrusting, insecure, keep thinking of morbid things. In short, I am starting to become my old self again, or part of it.
A close friend just sighed and said I am in trouble. Yes, I know, and if I continue like this, I will only get into deeper trouble. I need to save myself before I lose my sanity again! Never again will I experience going to Hell and back! Once in life is more than enough! No one can ever imagine the emotional roller coaster I was on that period of time! It took a lot for me to get out of the pits, and I have made a promise to myself never to go through that again!
Now what brought that on, you may wonder? From a past lesson (or lessons) learnt, I have realised it is not wise to reveal too much, especially since I have no idea nowadays who have been reading (and skulking around). And since lately I have been feeling emotional again with an outpouring of my innermost feelings, I have to watch what I say, no matter how I like to just pour out everything.
To be honest, I have no idea why I am feeling so emotional lately. I do not even know the exact extent of how I truly feel. Am I upset, insecure, paranoid, worried, stressed, depressed? Or is my brain just going around in circles, trying to mess up everything? So why was I even feeling this way in the first place?
My left brain keeps telling me there is nothing to worry about. But my right brain cannot help sending all kinds of paranoia into the rest of my mind and body, making me ultra sensitive, breaking down my defences, essentially making me a mess again. Just when I thought I have been living in peace and happiness all these while, something must trigger me off and make me so emotional again! I am glad I can still feel, but not glad when I lose focus at everything again!
A close friend just sighed and said I am in trouble. Yes, I know, and if I continue like this, I will only get into deeper trouble. I need to save myself before I lose my sanity again! Never again will I experience going to Hell and back! Once in life is more than enough! No one can ever imagine the emotional roller coaster I was on that period of time! It took a lot for me to get out of the pits, and I have made a promise to myself never to go through that again!
Now what brought that on, you may wonder? From a past lesson (or lessons) learnt, I have realised it is not wise to reveal too much, especially since I have no idea nowadays who have been reading (and skulking around). And since lately I have been feeling emotional again with an outpouring of my innermost feelings, I have to watch what I say, no matter how I like to just pour out everything.
To be honest, I have no idea why I am feeling so emotional lately. I do not even know the exact extent of how I truly feel. Am I upset, insecure, paranoid, worried, stressed, depressed? Or is my brain just going around in circles, trying to mess up everything? So why was I even feeling this way in the first place?
My left brain keeps telling me there is nothing to worry about. But my right brain cannot help sending all kinds of paranoia into the rest of my mind and body, making me ultra sensitive, breaking down my defences, essentially making me a mess again. Just when I thought I have been living in peace and happiness all these while, something must trigger me off and make me so emotional again! I am glad I can still feel, but not glad when I lose focus at everything again!
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