Lilypie

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Ready For A Relationship?

When I was young, I thought as long as we met the person we had a mutual liking to, we would get into a relationship. It was as easy as that - boy met girl, both liked each other, both entered into a relationship. That was it. Both were ready.

However, as the years go by and after failed relationships, I start to wonder if I am really ready for a relationship, not just a mere relationship, but one that will last? What are the deciding factors whether you are ready for one?

I have met a few guys along the way who told me they were not ready, or indicated they were not ready to be in another relationship. But then again, if one is not ready, then do not mislead others in the first place! It gets really irritating if you think of starting something, and when the other party got interested, you suddenly withdraw. (This applies to both genders, and in between too.)

So how do you know if you are ready? Sometimes I wonder, is it because they are just not ready, or is it because of me? Am I the problem all these while? Am I really that scary? Sometimes I do wonder, do men want someone who appear so sweet and demure and nice, yet put them down and two-time them, or do they prefer someone who may be blunt, say things like they are, but who is at least truthful, non hypocritical, forgiving, accepting and faithful?

I know I do not come across as sweet and demure on first impression. In fact, I am everything men do not like. I am loud, outspoken, opinionated. I come across as fierce and authoritative. Men may shy away thinking I am demanding. But the thing is, I do not believe in deliberately acting cute and sweet just to attract a man. I believe in being myself, so people see me as it is.

However, if I am in a relationship, I do compromise. I do accommodate. I do listen to the guy. And his happiness means everything to me. For sure I will remain faithful. I will not put him down and will accept all his flaws and shortcomings. Heck, I am never the unfaithful one, nor the one who was putting the partner down. In fact, I was often the one being told to change into this or that, and still got dumped for someone else! I do not believe in stringing people along, or stepping into two or more boats at the same time. I have no time nor energy to do that!

I often ask myself, am I ready for a relationship? I think so. I know what a relationship entails. I know what I should do. I want so much to give my all to a guy, to treat his family as my own, and his friends as my own too. I want so much to do things with a guy, to be his buddy and best friend, and vice versa. And I believe I am over the "emotional baggage" and "still haunted by the past" phase.

I am ready to start anew with someone. I only hope the next person I meet whom I have a genuine liking to feel the same way, and not hanging me in between or do not feel anything towards me. I have kissed enough frogs, now it is the time to find the "prince". I am just putting my faith in that anything is possible!

4 comments:

Julie Lim said...

It's better to be yourself and not some two-faced bitch who is unfaithful and looks down upon her man.

But what amazes me is that there are many men who marry bitches like that!

I guess that's why there's also a book written called "Why Do Men Marry Bitches?"

juphelia said...

Oh I read that book, as well as the prequel "Why Men Love Bitches"! However, the "Bitches" in the book are not those girls who are bad or demanding; rather they are those who are not wallflowers or "yes (wo)man" or doormats. They simply mean women who are self-confident and appear that they do not need men nor fawn over him. Apparently these are the women men fawn over because they appear unavailable, so deadly attractive for men!

Jacqueline said...

hehe .. the book reminds me of what i shared with you on how to fly a kite? While it's true men married such bitches .. unsure whether it applies to asian men cos the more you appear unavailable, mostly will shy away :S Guess those high flyer prefers biatch?

Oh well, I so dun care ;p

juphelia said...

Haha.. actually Asian men have their own issues of commitment and whatnot. If the woman appears too unavailable, they will just give up and take it that she is not interested, because they are just cowards who have no guts to even go after someone they like. And they grumble why no one like them!

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