Sense of "Un-Belonging"

I blew my top on Tuesday night. I had not thrown a temper for a long time, especially not when I was outside. But that night, I blew it. Luckily only my dear knew I was on the verge of blowing my top, so he quickly asked me to go off instead of waiting around, so he could help soothe me a little when we were both alone.

What happened was we were invited to a thank-you dinner for the recent CHOICE Dinner and Dance. What appeared to be a thank-you dinner, was actually a mini-gathering of the core committee members. So there were three groups - one for the CHOICE Asia Conference, one for the upcoming January weekend, and one for the Finance and Administration Budgetting Committee.

We were asked to join whichever group we deemed most relevant, so we went to the CHOICE Asia Conference group. Our Chairman asked for feedback on how things could be run better. My dear (who played Santa Claus at the dinner), gave a remark that he felt he was under-utilised.

When it came to my turn, I as much as hinted in a roundabout way that I felt the whole thing seemed to be a one-man show, and if it was supposed to be a CHOICE event, then personally I would prefer to involve just our members alone, instead of asking people from outside.

So some people then said if people would like to be involved, they would have to volunteer. That was when I got riled. Did I not volunteer? Did my dear not volunteer? Yet what happened? Our ideas were overlooked, the services we volunteered for were excluded in the end, and the whole thing was run in a certain way by a certain person, who was promoting and showcasing the own people and services.

It was so blatantly obvious, I wonder if the rest were just blind to the situation, or they were equally involved? Which is why I was riled, because suddenly, I wondered what I was doing there, the whole thing did not even involve me, so even though I want to give to God, things like these just kind of disillusion me.

But the last straw was later on. The girl who went to visit my guy's parents on Christmas came for the meeting late. I happened to be the one who opened the door.

When I saw her I smiled and said hi, yet she just ignored me and brushed past me to go into the room and talked to someone else. I was so pissed! What was her problem?

Then when the meeting was over, she ignored the fact that my guy was standing next to me and kept asking him out. When he said he was not free, she then asked how come he was always not free lately? How come he never tell her what he's doing nowadays? Just who does that woman think she is?! I do not even "interrogate" him this way!

I have never been the kind of girl that disallows the guy to meet up or go out with his female friends. I myself have quite a few close guy friends too. I have no problems even if my guy mingles with girls.

But in this case, I think the situation is just too much to bear. I do not want to resort to banning the guy from seeing certain people but that does not mean I can tolerate being treated with disrespect too.

The guy has been great though. He does not like how his friend treated me too, so he quickly cut her off and left with me. In this way I am relieved and happy! It is always a wonderful feeling to have your boyfriend being on your side, no matter what happens!