Lilypie

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Beyond Love

My parents have booked the Russian trip in April. Since it will still be in the middle of my semester, I am not able to go with them anymore. :-( So they will be touring Moscow and St Petersburg on their own.

However, a New Zealand trip is in the works around the end of the year, for the whole family, as my parents may want a driving tour around both North and South Islands, as well as Christmas with my relatives in Sydney. If this is confirmed, then I can hardly wait!

I really envy my parents, able to get away once in a while on their own. This is what coupledom should be like - spend some time on their own and getting away from the family and kids once in a while.

Come to think of it, I remember even when my brothers and I were still very young, my parents would go out on their own or travel without us. They would then bring us to my maternal grandmother's place for my relatives to take care of us while they were away.

Even though my parents are not the types to show their affections like holding hands or kissing, their bond is stronger than mere physical intimacy. Up to now, after more than thirty years of marriage, whenever my dad is around, he will still drive my mum all over, be it to the hairdressing salon, or to work, or to my relative's place, or to the market, even to shopping malls. And he still accompanies my mum whenever she shops.

My dad will help my maternal grandmother run errands too, by driving her around to the market or when my mum brings her to the hairdressing salon. He seems to treat his mother-in-law better than his own mother!

I guess even though there are many aspects I see in my dad which I do not want in my future partner, but at the end of it all, he is committed to my mum, to the family. Who am I to comment anyway, as long as my mum is able to accept and tolerate him? Even though there were a few times where my mum was on the verge of divorcing him, still they managed to work things out.

And this is what couplehood and a long-term relationship is like. It is beyond the love, passion and affection of early days when both are so loving and sweet. Despite the difficulties, the changes, even after many years of living together and looking at each other day in day out, both still take time to date each other, to be nice to each other, to accommodate and compromise, to give to the family, instead of taking things for granted and just doing their own things separately.

This is what I learnt and observed from my parents. They really tried their best, as a couple, as children, as parents, as relatives and as friends. I learnt from them to treat people well and be true and sincere to others. I only hope that I can do just as well if and when I ever get married.

Having said that, I came across a very inspirational and enlightening quote earlier on : "True love is not about finding the perfect person for you, but about accepting and loving an imperfect person perfectly." How apt!

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