Lilypie

Friday, February 1, 2008

Timing Is Everything

Timing is everything. Whether in terms of family or relationship or friends or work. Sometimes there are things which you want to do, but the timing is not right. Or sometimes the timing is right, but you miss the chance due to other reasons.

My eldest cousin (godma) is the best looking of her family. She is also the most talented, the only one who went overseas to specialise in music and early childhood education. She is also a bubbly, smiley type who never has anything negative to say about anyone.

Yet she is single, in her late fourties. She is lucky that she has many siblings and nieces and nephews. When I see her alone sometimes, my heart goes out to her, and it makes me more determined not to end up single and alone.

But she had her own share of romance. Years back, she was with this guy, who is filial, respectful and caring. Everyone thought they would get married. His mum was hospitalised, and she went to the hospital everyday to see her and took care of her.

Then when his mum died, he told her that he had decided to be a priest. So that was it. Now I know why she never married. It was not as if she did not have other romances after that, but somehow she never found her soulmate again.

I realise that timing is very important when it comes to relationships. Like what a colleague had mentioned, you must meet the right person at the right time, otherwise all is futile. There have been cases where two people meet and get together, but somehow the timing is not right, and they broke up.

But some time later they got back together again. Maybe that was the right time for them. My best friend's time came around mid 2006. My parents' time were early, and they were each other's first loves too.

Sometimes we meet people who may be right for us, but too bad that person is already attached or married. Just like in "Bridges of Madison County", he told her that this kind of feelings come but only once in a lifetime, but she chose her family and responsibility over her love for him.

Now, if it is me, what would I have done? A man would not have hesitated to give up his wife and kids for another lady, especially a younger and prettier one. Okay, I know I am generalising again, but this seems to be the case quite often.

Whereas for a woman, no matter how neglected she feels in her marriage, no matter how the other man can make her heart skip a beat and bring back all the romance in her life, she will somehow still choose her family over him.

I guess at the end of it all, once you make the choice, stick with it. Especially when a family is involved, when there are kids, even when you have been staring at the same boring man for years.

Romance and a charismatic man is exciting and interesting, but at the end of it all, the affair will still be short-lived, because in general, a woman will never leave her family to run away with a man, no matter how much he rekindles her passion for love and romance.

As it is, if I ever get married, it will be to someone I deem as the best. It does not necessarily mean he is the best in everyone's eyes. Of course there will always be better choices, but at the end of it all, once I have made my choice, so be it, especially for someone like me who is so discerning and choosy, so the person I settle down with must be someone amazing in the first place.

Which is why I say timing is everything. If I meet a right someone at the right time when the timing is right, then all others that come after that will be at the wrong time, is it not? Just like in my previous experiences.

To some, perhaps I came into their lives too early, and they came into my life too late. Or I came into their lives too late, and they came into my life too early. So for now, since my time is not right yet, I shall just play a waiting game and see when will God land the right person in front of me at the right time.

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