Is it true that some people are more highly valued in our hearts? Many a times, we can come across a couple of suitors who treat us equally. Yet we are more responsive to one than the other. Sometimes, we are more responsive to the one who treat us more nonchalantly than the one who treat us in higher esteem.
Such is life. Some people when you get along with them, you feel joyful and fun, yet you are not confident that you can be secure and comfortable with them, but still you like them and want to be with them. Some people, you feel all the security and commitment while with them, yet you simply have no feelings whatsoever towards them, and keep rejecting their advances.
There have been guys who have showered me with gifts, from cuddly soft toys to flowers to jewellery. I used to think it is the gift, because even though I know it is the thought that counts, at times when people give me something I do not like, I have no idea where to display or what to do with it. So it will end up being a white elephant, or worse, I give it away to my younger nieces.
But then when someone else gives me almost the same thing, I can be so happy and touched. I will treasure and value it very much, and never allow anyone to touch or go near it, preserve it with the utmost and greatest care.
Then I realise it is my problem, that it is not the gift per se but the person giving the gift. I am not saying that I need people to shower me with gifts or material stuff, but I realise that if this person is more highly valued in my heart, whatever he does will make me happy, no matter how trivial or minor, and I treasure his gifts greatly and enjoy the outings with him.
Likewise, if I have absolutely no feelings whatsoever for someone, even if he can be the richest person here, come from a well-established family, treats me so well, is so eligible, but still I will not be touched or be happy or enthusiastic about seeing him.
Just like this guy who asked me out for dinner tonight. I have yet to reply him. He is a very nice guy, very gentle and caring, I feel very well taken care of the couple of times we met up, but I simply do not feel anything for him. And all his care and concern, his consideration makes me feel suffocated instead that I can hardly bear even just one hour with him.
Now, if it has been someone else, I would have been excited and agreed without any hesitation, no matter how late in the night it is, even if it is just for a drive around the estate, or a chat at the beach, even if it is just for half an hour or so, with the lingering feeling of how short the time is after that.
Unfair? I know. But life is never fair. No matter how we say we try to treat people equally, the truth is that there will be some we prefer over others. There will be some whom we will always care about, always show concern for, and there will be some whom we rather not be associated with.
I have had people asking me why did I like someone over another. Honestly, there is no reason why someone likes another person, is it not? To really state a reason, it can be because I see what I look for in this person as compared to another.
Some people can get along with you from the very beginning, even if their actions are just normal, nothing out of the ordinary, but you still like them somehow and want to do everything to make them happy because their happiness means the most to you.
Whereas some no matter how long you have known them, no matter how well they treat you, how out of the way they go to make you happy, somehow you just do not feel anything for them.
And such is life. Which is why it is so hard to find someone you like and who likes you in return, with both wanting to make each other happy. How many false starts and one-sided misguided feelings must one go through before they actually find their other halves?
To some, they are able to find them instantly. To others, it may take a lifetime, and never to be found. I have learnt a great lesson from long ago - never to take any relationship lightly or for granted ever again, because it has been so hard for me to find someone who really and willingly wants to be with me, and vice versa. If I ever manage to find one, he will be someone I really treasure and not mess up.
Such is life. Some people when you get along with them, you feel joyful and fun, yet you are not confident that you can be secure and comfortable with them, but still you like them and want to be with them. Some people, you feel all the security and commitment while with them, yet you simply have no feelings whatsoever towards them, and keep rejecting their advances.
There have been guys who have showered me with gifts, from cuddly soft toys to flowers to jewellery. I used to think it is the gift, because even though I know it is the thought that counts, at times when people give me something I do not like, I have no idea where to display or what to do with it. So it will end up being a white elephant, or worse, I give it away to my younger nieces.
But then when someone else gives me almost the same thing, I can be so happy and touched. I will treasure and value it very much, and never allow anyone to touch or go near it, preserve it with the utmost and greatest care.
Then I realise it is my problem, that it is not the gift per se but the person giving the gift. I am not saying that I need people to shower me with gifts or material stuff, but I realise that if this person is more highly valued in my heart, whatever he does will make me happy, no matter how trivial or minor, and I treasure his gifts greatly and enjoy the outings with him.
Likewise, if I have absolutely no feelings whatsoever for someone, even if he can be the richest person here, come from a well-established family, treats me so well, is so eligible, but still I will not be touched or be happy or enthusiastic about seeing him.
Just like this guy who asked me out for dinner tonight. I have yet to reply him. He is a very nice guy, very gentle and caring, I feel very well taken care of the couple of times we met up, but I simply do not feel anything for him. And all his care and concern, his consideration makes me feel suffocated instead that I can hardly bear even just one hour with him.
Now, if it has been someone else, I would have been excited and agreed without any hesitation, no matter how late in the night it is, even if it is just for a drive around the estate, or a chat at the beach, even if it is just for half an hour or so, with the lingering feeling of how short the time is after that.
Unfair? I know. But life is never fair. No matter how we say we try to treat people equally, the truth is that there will be some we prefer over others. There will be some whom we will always care about, always show concern for, and there will be some whom we rather not be associated with.
I have had people asking me why did I like someone over another. Honestly, there is no reason why someone likes another person, is it not? To really state a reason, it can be because I see what I look for in this person as compared to another.
Some people can get along with you from the very beginning, even if their actions are just normal, nothing out of the ordinary, but you still like them somehow and want to do everything to make them happy because their happiness means the most to you.
Whereas some no matter how long you have known them, no matter how well they treat you, how out of the way they go to make you happy, somehow you just do not feel anything for them.
And such is life. Which is why it is so hard to find someone you like and who likes you in return, with both wanting to make each other happy. How many false starts and one-sided misguided feelings must one go through before they actually find their other halves?
To some, they are able to find them instantly. To others, it may take a lifetime, and never to be found. I have learnt a great lesson from long ago - never to take any relationship lightly or for granted ever again, because it has been so hard for me to find someone who really and willingly wants to be with me, and vice versa. If I ever manage to find one, he will be someone I really treasure and not mess up.
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