人的一生會遇上的四個人

A touching story I came across, in traditional Chinese though. My translation is below, but as can be seen, I am not exactly a good translator. :-p

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人生就是為了找尋愛的過程，每個人的人生都要找到四個人。

第一個是自己,
第二個是你最愛的人，
第三個是最愛你的人，
第四個是共度一生的人.

首先會遇到你最愛的人，然後體會到愛的感覺；因為了解被愛的感覺，所以才能發現最愛你的人；當你經歷過愛人與被愛，學會了愛，才會知道什麼是你需要的，也才會找到最適合你，能夠相處一輩子的人。

但很悲哀的，在現實生活中，這三個人通常不是同一個人；你最愛的，往往沒有選擇你；最愛你的，往往不是你最愛的；而最長久的，偏偏不是你最愛也不是最愛你的，只是在最適合的時間出現的那個人。

你，會是別人生命中的第幾個人呢？

沒有人是故意要變心的，他愛你的時候是真的愛你，可是他不愛你的時候也是真的不愛你了，他愛你的時候沒有辦法假裝不愛你；同樣的，他不愛你的時候也沒有辦法假裝愛你 。當一個人不愛你要離開你，你要問自己還愛不愛他，如果你也不愛他了，千萬別為了可憐的自尊而不肯離開；如果你還愛他，你應該會希望他過得幸福快樂，希望他跟真正愛的人在一起，絕不會阻止，你要是阻止他得到真正的幸福，就表示你已經不愛他了，而如果你不愛他，你又有什麼資格指責他變心呢？

愛不是佔有，你喜歡月亮，不可能把月亮拿下來放在臉盆裡，但月亮的光芒仍可照進你的房間。換句話說，你愛一個人，也可以用另一種方式擁有，讓愛人成為生命裡的永恆回憶，如果你真愛一個人，就要愛他原來的樣子─愛他的好，也愛他的壞：愛他的優點，也愛他的缺點，絕不能因為愛他，就希望他變成自己所希望的樣子，萬一變不成就不愛他了。

真正愛一個人是無法說出原因的，你只知道無論何時何地、心情好壞，你都希望這個人陪著你；真正的感情是兩人能在最艱苦中相守，也就是沒有絲毫要求。畢竟，感情必須付出，而不是只想獲得；分開是一種必然的考驗，如果你們感情不夠穩固，只好認輸，真愛是不會變成怨恨的。

兩人在談情說愛的時候，最喜歡叫對方發誓，許下承諾我們為什麼要對方發誓，就是因為我們不相信對方，我們根本不相信情人，而這些山盟海誓又很不切實際：海枯石爛、地老天荒，都不能改變我對你的愛!

明知道海不會枯、石不會爛、地不會老、天不會荒；就算會，也活不到那時候。許下諾言的時候千萬注意，不要許下可以實現的諾言，最好是承諾做不到的事，反正做不到的，隨便說說也不要緊，請記住：”不可能實現的諾言最動人”

在愛情裡，說的是一套，做的是另一套；講的人不相信，聽的人也不相信。

你呢？找到了第幾個？茫茫人海中，你遇見了誰？誰又遇見了你？

祝願天下有情人終成眷屬

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The article essentially relates to the four people one meet in one's lifetime.

"Life is a journey of finding love. Everyone will be able to find four kinds of people in their lifetimes.

The first person is yourself.

The second person is the one you love the most.

The third is the one who loves you the most.

The fourth is the one you end up spending your life with.

Besides yourself, the first person you find will be the one you love the most, then you will experience what loving someone is all about. After knowing how to love someone, then you will find the one who loves you the most. After experiencing love and being loved, then you know what it is you need, and you will then find the one that is the most suitable, the one whom you end up spending your life with.

The sad thing is, in this real world, those three people are not the same persons. The person you love the most normally is the one who will not love you back, the one who loves you the most is the one you do not love. And the one who has the lifelong relationship with you, is neither the one you love the most nor the one who loves you the most, but just the one who happens to appear at the right place and the right time.

So, which one are you in a person's life?

No one will deliberately have a change of heart. When he loves you, he really does love you, but when he stops loving you, he really does stop loving you. When a person is in love, he cannot pretend he is not; similarly when a person is no longer in love, he cannot pretend that he is still in love.

When a person has stopped loving you and wants to leave, you have to ask yourself if you still love him. If you no longer love him, then do not keep holding on and not leave just because of the time and effort spent or because of a bruised ego.

But if you still love him, you will wish for him to be happy, and hope he will be with someone whom he truly loves. You will not stop him from finding his true happiness, because if you do, it shows you do not really love him, so if you do not really love him, then how can you blame him for no longer loving you?

Love is not possession or ownership. Just like if you love the moon, but it is impossible for you to take the moon down with you, yet the moon's beams can still light up your room. In other words, by loving a person, you can own him in other ways, like letting the one you love become an eternal memory in your mind.

If you really love a person, you love him for who he is - love his good points, and his bad points. You cannot expect him to become the ideal person you have in your mind just because you love him, and if he does not, then you no longer love him.

True love is unfathomable, it simply cannot be explained. But you know no matter what happens, wherever you are, when you are happy or sad, you will wish for this person to be by your side. True love is shown when two persons face the greatest adversity, yet still be there for each other, with no strings attached.

Because love is to be given, not just taken. Love can withstand the test of time and separation. If the love is not strong enough, then both just have to concede defeat, because true love should never become animosity or hatred.

When two people are in love, they are fond of asking each other to promise the impossible. Why? Because we do not trust our partner, our loved one. And these promises are impossible to achieve, because we promise things like, "Even when the oceans dry up, the grounds shrivel, my love for you will never falter."

But we all know the oceans will never dry up and the grounds will never falter. Even if they do, we are probably no longer alive to witness that. So when you make a promise, do not ask for the impossible; rather, promise something unattainable, because the most moving promises are unattainable. If you really love someone, then do not say something yet do something else. In this way, even the one talking and the one listening will not believe it.

So which one have you found? In this populated world, who have you found? Who have found you?

Wishing all the those in love blessings that they can find their other halves."

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Come to think of it, I have been rather blessed indeed, as in the one I love the most and the one who loves me the most (so far) is one and the same person. Perhaps the next person who enters my life will then be the one I end up spending a lifetime with? The one who comes into my life at the right place and right time? It is time indeed that I stop flitting around and settle down for once.