My parents are back! And the first thing they commented on was the heat. Apparently Russia's temperature is below ten degree celsius, as compared to the high humidity and heat going around here lately. My mum bought me a very cute Matryoshka doll!
I was talking to a friend who just had her marriage annulled. And after hearing what her ex said and did, I was astounded that some people can actually be so immature and bitter. Yes, no doubt he loved her a lot, no doubt the marriage failed, no doubt she gave up on him, but if he really loved her as he claimed, then he would want her to be happy, and not doing things to make her regret but backfired, because it only served to remind her how right her decision had been.
Actually when a relationship or marriage failed, it is not the fault of either one party but both. There is no use pinpointing who is more or less at fault. And there is a difference between being emotional and upset on your own accord, raving and ranting and feeling so down, and deliberately smearing others' names by making it seem like you are the maligned and wronged one and the other party was the one who betrayed you and let you down.
When I think back on my own experiences, there were times when I had been bitter. Yes, there were times when I felt mistreated, unfairly judged. And there were times when I complained to my close friends how unfair I felt, how betrayed I felt, how they treated me. There were also times when my ex(s) did things that totally pissed me off, and I raved and ranted to let out my frustrations.
But at no time did I contact any of their family members, telling tales about them on how they betrayed me and how their parents should discipline and teach them. Neither did I go around their home, school or work areas, waiting for them, stalking them, pleading for another chance (although there were times I had been really tempted to do that). And neither did I crank call them and demand an apology, or emotional damages as compensation on how much I have suffered, although in all conscience, in most of my relationships, I have had suffered emotionally.
So when a relationship turns sour, both are at fault. Three times out of four, I should not have entered into a relationship with the guys in question because they were not really what I was looking for and they did not really treat me right. And I should not have held on when I knew someone was cheating on me. The other time I should not have taken things for granted and should have talked things through thoroughly instead of not facing the problems head on.
But it is hard to find someone who fits, is it not? How many of us do not have faults? Human beings are such that we expect things from others, we have higher and higher expectations once we have had the best, unwilling to settle for any second best. The more exposed one gets to life, the higher expectations he / she has. As compared to those who married straight out of school, their lives are so much simpler and they hardly have any expectations as long as the family is good.
Which is why I always prefer a much simpler life. Now that I have been exposed somewhat, the way I think is already different as compared to like five years back. The kind of person and type of lifestyle I want is also somewhat different as compared to in the past. But I am not losing hope, because as I have mentioned, somewhere out there I believe there is someone looking for me at the same time I am looking for him!
I was talking to a friend who just had her marriage annulled. And after hearing what her ex said and did, I was astounded that some people can actually be so immature and bitter. Yes, no doubt he loved her a lot, no doubt the marriage failed, no doubt she gave up on him, but if he really loved her as he claimed, then he would want her to be happy, and not doing things to make her regret but backfired, because it only served to remind her how right her decision had been.
Actually when a relationship or marriage failed, it is not the fault of either one party but both. There is no use pinpointing who is more or less at fault. And there is a difference between being emotional and upset on your own accord, raving and ranting and feeling so down, and deliberately smearing others' names by making it seem like you are the maligned and wronged one and the other party was the one who betrayed you and let you down.
When I think back on my own experiences, there were times when I had been bitter. Yes, there were times when I felt mistreated, unfairly judged. And there were times when I complained to my close friends how unfair I felt, how betrayed I felt, how they treated me. There were also times when my ex(s) did things that totally pissed me off, and I raved and ranted to let out my frustrations.
But at no time did I contact any of their family members, telling tales about them on how they betrayed me and how their parents should discipline and teach them. Neither did I go around their home, school or work areas, waiting for them, stalking them, pleading for another chance (although there were times I had been really tempted to do that). And neither did I crank call them and demand an apology, or emotional damages as compensation on how much I have suffered, although in all conscience, in most of my relationships, I have had suffered emotionally.
So when a relationship turns sour, both are at fault. Three times out of four, I should not have entered into a relationship with the guys in question because they were not really what I was looking for and they did not really treat me right. And I should not have held on when I knew someone was cheating on me. The other time I should not have taken things for granted and should have talked things through thoroughly instead of not facing the problems head on.
But it is hard to find someone who fits, is it not? How many of us do not have faults? Human beings are such that we expect things from others, we have higher and higher expectations once we have had the best, unwilling to settle for any second best. The more exposed one gets to life, the higher expectations he / she has. As compared to those who married straight out of school, their lives are so much simpler and they hardly have any expectations as long as the family is good.
Which is why I always prefer a much simpler life. Now that I have been exposed somewhat, the way I think is already different as compared to like five years back. The kind of person and type of lifestyle I want is also somewhat different as compared to in the past. But I am not losing hope, because as I have mentioned, somewhere out there I believe there is someone looking for me at the same time I am looking for him!
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