For the longest time, I have been rather wishy-washy and frivolous on what I want and what needs to be done. Beginning of this year, I started to think of where exactly is my direction going to be. As long as eight years back (the millennium year), I have been trying to track down my old classmates, wondering where they were.
As the years went by, especially recently due to the very high frequency social web portal, I have found quite a number of old friends, who are very successful in their own rights. Of course I am happy for them that they are doing so well, but I cannot help but have a tinge of shamefulness of my own.
I am not trying to show off or whatsoever, but I was from the best class back in school. Even though I was never from those top schools, but the schools I have attended have made it top thirty every year at least. So when I see my friends who were not from the best classes with lesser grades than me during the examinations (not that their grades were that bad anyway) all managed to enter top universities and went into rather high-profile jobs, I cannot help but wonder exactly what I am doing with my life?
I start to remember what my school(s) had taught me - not just being exam-smart, but also to be well-rounded and be the best we can be. Whatever and whoever I am now, is just a minuscule fraction of what I am truly capable of. I used to do so many things back in school, yet now I cannot even be determined enough to really achieve something, despite what I always say about hoping to achieve.
So I start to make up my mind. What do I want to achieve? Can I do more to achieve? Whatever I want is not just lip service, but actually toiling and struggling to achieve it, no matter how challenging and difficult it is. I must have the determination and motivation to achieve things, instead of taking things so easy.
What do I want at this point in time (and the next few years)? Get a first class honours, of course. That is why I started to study again. Get a diploma in piano performance. Find a mate, get married, start a family. Get a driving license. Continue singing, hopefully in church and be more involved in church activities. Step by step, once all these have been achieved, then we can go on to the next step along the way.
Thus I am convinced I have finally found my direction, long overdue. And this time, it will not be just plain lip service, but actual action and putting in my best in order to achieve. Most importantly, do what I set out to do, instead of giving up halfway.
For that, I pray to God that He will guide me along and never let me falter, as have happened so many times before. This time I am not going to let myself slide again. It is indeed time I finally wake up and do something in life.
As the years went by, especially recently due to the very high frequency social web portal, I have found quite a number of old friends, who are very successful in their own rights. Of course I am happy for them that they are doing so well, but I cannot help but have a tinge of shamefulness of my own.
I am not trying to show off or whatsoever, but I was from the best class back in school. Even though I was never from those top schools, but the schools I have attended have made it top thirty every year at least. So when I see my friends who were not from the best classes with lesser grades than me during the examinations (not that their grades were that bad anyway) all managed to enter top universities and went into rather high-profile jobs, I cannot help but wonder exactly what I am doing with my life?
I start to remember what my school(s) had taught me - not just being exam-smart, but also to be well-rounded and be the best we can be. Whatever and whoever I am now, is just a minuscule fraction of what I am truly capable of. I used to do so many things back in school, yet now I cannot even be determined enough to really achieve something, despite what I always say about hoping to achieve.
So I start to make up my mind. What do I want to achieve? Can I do more to achieve? Whatever I want is not just lip service, but actually toiling and struggling to achieve it, no matter how challenging and difficult it is. I must have the determination and motivation to achieve things, instead of taking things so easy.
What do I want at this point in time (and the next few years)? Get a first class honours, of course. That is why I started to study again. Get a diploma in piano performance. Find a mate, get married, start a family. Get a driving license. Continue singing, hopefully in church and be more involved in church activities. Step by step, once all these have been achieved, then we can go on to the next step along the way.
Thus I am convinced I have finally found my direction, long overdue. And this time, it will not be just plain lip service, but actual action and putting in my best in order to achieve. Most importantly, do what I set out to do, instead of giving up halfway.
For that, I pray to God that He will guide me along and never let me falter, as have happened so many times before. This time I am not going to let myself slide again. It is indeed time I finally wake up and do something in life.
0 comments:
Post a Comment