Responsibility. A big word to a lot of people. Since young, I was taught responsibility by my parents and teachers. Responsible to my studies, by completing my homework. Responsible to my enrichment classes, by practising music and dance. Responsible to my family by ensuring they do not worry about me.
But how often have we grown up, trying to get out of responsibility? With the risk of offending some people here, I am going to be really blunt by saying that in many cases I have come across, parents have no idea how to inculcate the sense of responsibility in their children. Thus, they often go around in life thinking they can do anything and get away with it, no matter how much trouble they get into. For instance, in my ex-students, the parents did not even care whether they attended schools or did their homework properly, or if they fought in school.
Even for people my age or older. There are some people who squirm out of being responsible. For instance, at work. There are people who face problems at work, so chose not to go to work at all. There are scholars who find the work too much for them, so chose to break the bonds instead of facing up to the challenges.
There are people who face problems in their relationships or marriage, but chose to avoid the problems altogether, or worse, go fooling around hoping to find an avenue to de-stress. There are people who face problems in their family members, but chose to just not go home so as not to face the problems.
Avoidance and escapism seem to be a common thing for people whenever they run into any problems. But avoidance should not be an issue; rather one should face adversity and learn from the mistakes. I have learnt that from a couple of very hard lessons. When things are not going well, talk it over and see how to salvage, and if things really could not be salvaged, then nip them in the bud before the whole thing blew up.
If I had been more responsible in my younger days, I could have avoided a lot of problems. Like if I had only been more receptive and reactive when my ex and I were having problems, instead of refusing to face the truth and still lived each day at a time, he would not have just disappeared. No doubt that was not being responsible, but at least that was a wake-up call that things could no longer be salvaged.
As the years went by, I have been in and out of jobs and relationships, be it casual or serious. Also, the problems with my family have been resolved, all because finally we decided to talk things through and learnt how to deal with things as a family, instead of keeping everything to myself and avoiding the issues.
Jobs wise, even though in the past I was not happy over my bad luck, but at least the companies were responsible enough in letting me know, rather than just kicking me out instantly without any notice. And of course, as far as relationships go, even though I am not the best person to handle relationship matters, still when the guys and I have agreed to stop seeing each other, we really talked things through, instead of avoiding altogether and suddenly disappearing.
That is the act of a responsible person - facing the issue straight on and trying to resolve it, instead of committing a disappearing act just like that. Like what my best friend said in her latest email to me (paraphrased), "We belong to the group where we care about morals and how society view our actions, and not just live each day wantonly without any cares or worries. This does not mean we do not love our men as much, but rather, we want to live our lives responsibly and plan ahead, instead of living each day so frivolously. This is something irresponsible men will never understand." Ditto and well-said!
So, we have to be responsible in whatever we do, whether as an employee, as a supervisor, as a student, as a child, as a parent, as a boy / girlfriend, as a husband / wife, as a friend, as a church-goer. Do not say or do things we do not mean, and then avoid the issues that crop up. Life is not a bad of roses after all, so when problems occur, we need to face them head on instead of escaping.
This is the mark of someone responsible, someone mature and grown-up enough to face problems and handle adversity. We are no longer at the age where we can still feign ignorance and get away with things. And I am still learning to be more responsible in every area of my life. At least now I do not escape or avoid problems anymore; rather I face them head on and learn the best way of handling situations!
But how often have we grown up, trying to get out of responsibility? With the risk of offending some people here, I am going to be really blunt by saying that in many cases I have come across, parents have no idea how to inculcate the sense of responsibility in their children. Thus, they often go around in life thinking they can do anything and get away with it, no matter how much trouble they get into. For instance, in my ex-students, the parents did not even care whether they attended schools or did their homework properly, or if they fought in school.
Even for people my age or older. There are some people who squirm out of being responsible. For instance, at work. There are people who face problems at work, so chose not to go to work at all. There are scholars who find the work too much for them, so chose to break the bonds instead of facing up to the challenges.
There are people who face problems in their relationships or marriage, but chose to avoid the problems altogether, or worse, go fooling around hoping to find an avenue to de-stress. There are people who face problems in their family members, but chose to just not go home so as not to face the problems.
Avoidance and escapism seem to be a common thing for people whenever they run into any problems. But avoidance should not be an issue; rather one should face adversity and learn from the mistakes. I have learnt that from a couple of very hard lessons. When things are not going well, talk it over and see how to salvage, and if things really could not be salvaged, then nip them in the bud before the whole thing blew up.
If I had been more responsible in my younger days, I could have avoided a lot of problems. Like if I had only been more receptive and reactive when my ex and I were having problems, instead of refusing to face the truth and still lived each day at a time, he would not have just disappeared. No doubt that was not being responsible, but at least that was a wake-up call that things could no longer be salvaged.
As the years went by, I have been in and out of jobs and relationships, be it casual or serious. Also, the problems with my family have been resolved, all because finally we decided to talk things through and learnt how to deal with things as a family, instead of keeping everything to myself and avoiding the issues.
Jobs wise, even though in the past I was not happy over my bad luck, but at least the companies were responsible enough in letting me know, rather than just kicking me out instantly without any notice. And of course, as far as relationships go, even though I am not the best person to handle relationship matters, still when the guys and I have agreed to stop seeing each other, we really talked things through, instead of avoiding altogether and suddenly disappearing.
That is the act of a responsible person - facing the issue straight on and trying to resolve it, instead of committing a disappearing act just like that. Like what my best friend said in her latest email to me (paraphrased), "We belong to the group where we care about morals and how society view our actions, and not just live each day wantonly without any cares or worries. This does not mean we do not love our men as much, but rather, we want to live our lives responsibly and plan ahead, instead of living each day so frivolously. This is something irresponsible men will never understand." Ditto and well-said!
So, we have to be responsible in whatever we do, whether as an employee, as a supervisor, as a student, as a child, as a parent, as a boy / girlfriend, as a husband / wife, as a friend, as a church-goer. Do not say or do things we do not mean, and then avoid the issues that crop up. Life is not a bad of roses after all, so when problems occur, we need to face them head on instead of escaping.
This is the mark of someone responsible, someone mature and grown-up enough to face problems and handle adversity. We are no longer at the age where we can still feign ignorance and get away with things. And I am still learning to be more responsible in every area of my life. At least now I do not escape or avoid problems anymore; rather I face them head on and learn the best way of handling situations!
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