My best friend is surprised I would turn down that guy, and a nice guy at that. Hmmm... she is always the one who maintains that one need not be with anyone who declare the feelings, but then I suppose she knows me very well too. And that is why she is surprised, because it was something unorthodox. Quite strange actually that she would feel surprised, because it is not as if it was the first time I turned down someone. Why must I accept someone just because he wants to be with me? I do not just go with any Tom, Dick or Harry who claim they are attracted to me!
Nonetheless, an article I read struck a chord in me. The writer said that there is no reason to love. True, there is no reason when it comes to love. You either love or you do not. But it is not as simple as that. Ideally, when you love someone, you love his entire being, all his quirks, his bad habits, his temperament, his idiosyncrasies, his family, his friends.
But people are different. It is already so difficult to find someone you can really get along with. At times you may love someone without reason, only to find the person totally unsuitable. Then what do you do? Continue loving and being miserable, knowing the relationship is not going anywhere, or get out and move on?
In the latter situation, people may claim if you get out, it shows you do not love the person enough, that is why you do not want to hold on. The thing is, if I am still at the teenage stage where love encompasses everything and I pay no heed to anything else except my feelings and emotions, then I will definitely continue holding on, hoping things will improve.
But I am no longer at that stage. In another few months, I will be reaching the next decade of my life. I have paid heed to my feelings and emotions long enough, and look where I ended up. I cannot still be so irresponsible to start something with someone, just because I want someone to be with, knowing things will not work out.
Someone once asked me, have I ever really loved someone? If I have, then why do I have to consider so many factors? Oh yes, I have loved, more than one person, in varying degrees. I have loved to the whole core of my being, with my entire heart and soul. I have loved someone so much that I almost ended up hating him when things did not work out. After all, there is only a thin line between love and hate. So yes, I do know what is love.
But loving a person does not equate to being able to be with the person. To a certain extent, love need no reason. It is not wrong to love a person. But if loving a person means having to do things which you will otherwise not do, like betraying your conscience, then is it still worth it? It is precisely because I have been through it which is why I know it is not worth it.
Loving someone should not be tiring, nor miserable. Being in love should be the best, sweetest, most beautiful feeling in the world. But if you end up being more miserable trying to continue loving the person only to have him so indifferent, claiming he loves you but yet not doing anything to keep the love going, then one really just have to let go and move on.
Now I wish I had listened to others in the past, people like my best friend, my cousins, instead of just paying heed to my feelings without thinking of the consequences. Which is why now I am not going to let anyone mislead me again, nor am I going to mislead anyone again. When the time is right I will know. Before that happens, I am not going to risk getting myself hurt and disappointed again, nor will I accept anyone only to end up hurting him.
But at the end of it all, love is but a fraction of life. There are more things in life to think about, like whether I will suddenly die of a massive heart attack tonight. This period of time when a late professor was able to touch the hearts of many, one starts to discover the true meaning of life, and you realise that many things in life are just predestined. Let whatever happens happen!
Nonetheless, an article I read struck a chord in me. The writer said that there is no reason to love. True, there is no reason when it comes to love. You either love or you do not. But it is not as simple as that. Ideally, when you love someone, you love his entire being, all his quirks, his bad habits, his temperament, his idiosyncrasies, his family, his friends.
But people are different. It is already so difficult to find someone you can really get along with. At times you may love someone without reason, only to find the person totally unsuitable. Then what do you do? Continue loving and being miserable, knowing the relationship is not going anywhere, or get out and move on?
In the latter situation, people may claim if you get out, it shows you do not love the person enough, that is why you do not want to hold on. The thing is, if I am still at the teenage stage where love encompasses everything and I pay no heed to anything else except my feelings and emotions, then I will definitely continue holding on, hoping things will improve.
But I am no longer at that stage. In another few months, I will be reaching the next decade of my life. I have paid heed to my feelings and emotions long enough, and look where I ended up. I cannot still be so irresponsible to start something with someone, just because I want someone to be with, knowing things will not work out.
Someone once asked me, have I ever really loved someone? If I have, then why do I have to consider so many factors? Oh yes, I have loved, more than one person, in varying degrees. I have loved to the whole core of my being, with my entire heart and soul. I have loved someone so much that I almost ended up hating him when things did not work out. After all, there is only a thin line between love and hate. So yes, I do know what is love.
But loving a person does not equate to being able to be with the person. To a certain extent, love need no reason. It is not wrong to love a person. But if loving a person means having to do things which you will otherwise not do, like betraying your conscience, then is it still worth it? It is precisely because I have been through it which is why I know it is not worth it.
Loving someone should not be tiring, nor miserable. Being in love should be the best, sweetest, most beautiful feeling in the world. But if you end up being more miserable trying to continue loving the person only to have him so indifferent, claiming he loves you but yet not doing anything to keep the love going, then one really just have to let go and move on.
Now I wish I had listened to others in the past, people like my best friend, my cousins, instead of just paying heed to my feelings without thinking of the consequences. Which is why now I am not going to let anyone mislead me again, nor am I going to mislead anyone again. When the time is right I will know. Before that happens, I am not going to risk getting myself hurt and disappointed again, nor will I accept anyone only to end up hurting him.
But at the end of it all, love is but a fraction of life. There are more things in life to think about, like whether I will suddenly die of a massive heart attack tonight. This period of time when a late professor was able to touch the hearts of many, one starts to discover the true meaning of life, and you realise that many things in life are just predestined. Let whatever happens happen!
Blogged with the Flock Browser
1 comments:
Well, sometimes women are very complicated and I don't blame them either. I am sorry for saying this. I did love someone soo much to the core.
I did everything for her. Some how she did not bother at all and moved on to another guy.
Today, she is still single and came back to me to start all over again.
I just stood by the corner and watched her, why and what happen to her.... may be her age. I am too getting older but..... do I want this kind person....... Hence I left her as she were...
regards
kris
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