I gave my cousin (aunt? In any case, she is my mum’s youngest cousin) back her “Sex And The City” set and started talking briefly with her. She is not that much older than me actually, so I always mistook her for my cousin. In any case, the way we Chinese address our elders is pretty confusing! It will be so much easier to just use one’s names, but that will be frowned upon by the elders for being rude and disrespectful.
I had a friend, she had an aunt who is twelve years younger than her. Well, this “aunt” is her mum’s cousin, the daughter of her mum’s youngest aunt, so on basis of that, my friend had to call the then two-year-old “aunt”. Darn confusing right? And in any case, who would be willing to call someone younger “aunt” or “uncle”?
Just like even though my eldest nephew (the son of my cousin – the second daughter of my dad’s sister) is only two years younger than my youngest brother, and they all attended the same primary school, he (and his younger brother who is just a year apart) still refused to address my brother as “uncle”, be it in school or during family gatherings, until his mum coerced them to. With me it is not much of a problem addressing me as “aunt” (sob sob!) since the age gap is much wider.
Anyway, this cousin-aunt of mine is expecting her second child next month. Her first child is already over a year old, a cute, round cuddly little boy! These kids grow up so fast! The last time I saw him he was a chubby little kid, now he has grown into a smiley kid with prominent front teeth!
I remember she recounted her experience to me once how she and her husband got together. They are both Indonesian Chinese, both graduated from Australia. During the Indonesian crisis, she and her family managed to get out and came here until things blew over. In any case, she found a job here and started working, so they were on a long-distance relationship.
There was a period of time she was unsure whether they should continue the relationship since one was here and the other one was down below. So she decided to keep her options open by participating in more activities, going for social gatherings and networkings.
But I guess if both are meant to be, nothing can ever separate them, so somehow they still maintained their relationship and she went back to Indonesia to get married. But they have now more or less settled here permanently, bought an apartment together and he has even reverted back to the Chinese surname for the child, instead of his own Indonesian surname.
Anyway she was asking about my status. So I told her there is no difference from half a year ago when she first asked me. At times I really do not understand how come some people are so lucky that they can find someone so instantly just like that, whereas some can go by their lives being disappointed and heart-broken but never did find anyone.
So she said at times the right person will come along unexpectedly. True, but I already have people who came into my life unexpectedly, and just when things were progressing, they suddenly left very unexpectedly as well. Not to mention those who wanted everything to be like a bullet train, and just because I prefer things slow and steady, they dropped the friendship just like that.
Which reminds me, is it really possible to fall for someone at first sight? I have never fallen for anyone at first sight. I may have been impressed by the way the person expresses or speaks, but no one has ever given me that kind of super ooommph feeling the moment I set eyes on him. And I daresay, no one has ever fallen for me at first sight too.
I know myself, I simply do not have the kind of features that warrant anyone to take a second glance or get anyone’s attention. I am not like my best friend, with her slightly Japanese look and fair skin, quite a number of guys had crushes on her back in school, even if they did not know her!
I have been dropped for girls younger and much better looking, as well as being compared to exs who were younger, sweeter and better looking. I get really pissed off whenever that happens. I always thought what is on the outside is not that important, it is what is on the inside that counts. I shall not profess I am perfect or super nice, but still I try my best. Okay, so I do screw up once in a while, but who does not? Who is perfect?
Sad to say, guys, no matter the age, intelligence and education level, are still generally shallow. They do not care how well you can take care of them, how giving you can be, how considerate or caring you are to them, all these come to naught if you do not have a pretty face.
Worst thing is that, a lot of these guys, they are nothing to look at themselves. Some are short, round and have a face full of acne scars, yet they still expect the girls they meet to be drop dead gorgeous with a supermodel figure and clear skin. But the thing is we girls will never dream of saying things detrimental to their looks or figure or self-esteem. We take them more at face value.
Yet once the guy sees a girl whom he does not consider as drop dead gorgeous, he loses interest in her immediately, and his body language shows it. I used to think that once we get on with age, things will be better, and there will be nice guys around who go for what is inside rather than what is outside, but sad to say, even at this age, I still come across guys who are that shallow.
Okay, to be fair, I do have some wonderfully nice male friends whom I enjoy their companies immensely. But they, too, admit that men are visual creatures, more so than women. I do not believe they are referring to me in any case, but still, it serves to justify that in general, men do go for how good a lady looks. Perhaps they are just structured in such a way.
So how can I then have the hope of finding someone now when I was not able to find anyone when I was younger, slimmer and hopefully sweeter looking? No doubt I do not think I am that bad looking, and those guys who do not appreciate me are their own losses, but it is no denying that once a girl reaches a certain age, she is as good as gone case. Her so-called market value just goes down, in light of all the other younger and sweeter girls out there.
Sad to say, perhaps I should really just give up looking and start planning for my own future revolving just on myself and my parents. Then when I reach a certain age, when my parents have passed on, I shall just check into an old folks’ home and spend the rest of my days.
I had a friend, she had an aunt who is twelve years younger than her. Well, this “aunt” is her mum’s cousin, the daughter of her mum’s youngest aunt, so on basis of that, my friend had to call the then two-year-old “aunt”. Darn confusing right? And in any case, who would be willing to call someone younger “aunt” or “uncle”?
Just like even though my eldest nephew (the son of my cousin – the second daughter of my dad’s sister) is only two years younger than my youngest brother, and they all attended the same primary school, he (and his younger brother who is just a year apart) still refused to address my brother as “uncle”, be it in school or during family gatherings, until his mum coerced them to. With me it is not much of a problem addressing me as “aunt” (sob sob!) since the age gap is much wider.
Anyway, this cousin-aunt of mine is expecting her second child next month. Her first child is already over a year old, a cute, round cuddly little boy! These kids grow up so fast! The last time I saw him he was a chubby little kid, now he has grown into a smiley kid with prominent front teeth!
I remember she recounted her experience to me once how she and her husband got together. They are both Indonesian Chinese, both graduated from Australia. During the Indonesian crisis, she and her family managed to get out and came here until things blew over. In any case, she found a job here and started working, so they were on a long-distance relationship.
There was a period of time she was unsure whether they should continue the relationship since one was here and the other one was down below. So she decided to keep her options open by participating in more activities, going for social gatherings and networkings.
But I guess if both are meant to be, nothing can ever separate them, so somehow they still maintained their relationship and she went back to Indonesia to get married. But they have now more or less settled here permanently, bought an apartment together and he has even reverted back to the Chinese surname for the child, instead of his own Indonesian surname.
Anyway she was asking about my status. So I told her there is no difference from half a year ago when she first asked me. At times I really do not understand how come some people are so lucky that they can find someone so instantly just like that, whereas some can go by their lives being disappointed and heart-broken but never did find anyone.
So she said at times the right person will come along unexpectedly. True, but I already have people who came into my life unexpectedly, and just when things were progressing, they suddenly left very unexpectedly as well. Not to mention those who wanted everything to be like a bullet train, and just because I prefer things slow and steady, they dropped the friendship just like that.
Which reminds me, is it really possible to fall for someone at first sight? I have never fallen for anyone at first sight. I may have been impressed by the way the person expresses or speaks, but no one has ever given me that kind of super ooommph feeling the moment I set eyes on him. And I daresay, no one has ever fallen for me at first sight too.
I know myself, I simply do not have the kind of features that warrant anyone to take a second glance or get anyone’s attention. I am not like my best friend, with her slightly Japanese look and fair skin, quite a number of guys had crushes on her back in school, even if they did not know her!
I have been dropped for girls younger and much better looking, as well as being compared to exs who were younger, sweeter and better looking. I get really pissed off whenever that happens. I always thought what is on the outside is not that important, it is what is on the inside that counts. I shall not profess I am perfect or super nice, but still I try my best. Okay, so I do screw up once in a while, but who does not? Who is perfect?
Sad to say, guys, no matter the age, intelligence and education level, are still generally shallow. They do not care how well you can take care of them, how giving you can be, how considerate or caring you are to them, all these come to naught if you do not have a pretty face.
Worst thing is that, a lot of these guys, they are nothing to look at themselves. Some are short, round and have a face full of acne scars, yet they still expect the girls they meet to be drop dead gorgeous with a supermodel figure and clear skin. But the thing is we girls will never dream of saying things detrimental to their looks or figure or self-esteem. We take them more at face value.
Yet once the guy sees a girl whom he does not consider as drop dead gorgeous, he loses interest in her immediately, and his body language shows it. I used to think that once we get on with age, things will be better, and there will be nice guys around who go for what is inside rather than what is outside, but sad to say, even at this age, I still come across guys who are that shallow.
Okay, to be fair, I do have some wonderfully nice male friends whom I enjoy their companies immensely. But they, too, admit that men are visual creatures, more so than women. I do not believe they are referring to me in any case, but still, it serves to justify that in general, men do go for how good a lady looks. Perhaps they are just structured in such a way.
So how can I then have the hope of finding someone now when I was not able to find anyone when I was younger, slimmer and hopefully sweeter looking? No doubt I do not think I am that bad looking, and those guys who do not appreciate me are their own losses, but it is no denying that once a girl reaches a certain age, she is as good as gone case. Her so-called market value just goes down, in light of all the other younger and sweeter girls out there.
Sad to say, perhaps I should really just give up looking and start planning for my own future revolving just on myself and my parents. Then when I reach a certain age, when my parents have passed on, I shall just check into an old folks’ home and spend the rest of my days.
0 comments:
Post a Comment