Do words mean more than actions? Or actions mean more than words? Will people prefer someone who makes empty promises but never seem to get anything done, or will people prefer someone who does not talk but yet does a lot?
Obviously if it is due to work, people will prefer someone to be proactive rather than someone who barks a lot but totally inadequate in the job. But what about in other types of relationships? Family, friends, even among couples?
My mum always tells me not to tell her what I want to do. Show her instead. Then when I did manage to show her, she will have other things to say. Oh well .... Maybe she prefers someone like my brother who likes to suck up, but yet totally self-absorbed.
What about friends? When a friend says something, will you expect him / her to do what he / she has said? Will you get mad if your friend does not keep his / her word? To some people, a promise is a promise, no matter how small or minor the thing is. They will kick up a big fuss if a promise is not kept, no matter by whom.
What about in love relationships? Is someone who sweet talk better than someone who does not talk but shows love in other ways? Is saying sweet nothings good if in the end you really do nothing? Words of sweetness only makes a girl feels good, but if no action is taken after that, words alone do not count.
There are many guys like that - empty vessels. They woo a girl with mushy words, melting her heart with every word they say, but in the end do not even make the effort to keep the relationship going.
I have been guilty of falling into this trap too, a couple of times in the past. So did my best friend and a few other girlfriends. I have a friend who just ended her relationship because they guy was so sweet to her, wooed her with kind words, but in the end when they finally got together, they have only gone out once for the past four months!
That is ridiculous! How could any guy claimed he loved the girl yet did not even want to spend time with her? Granted people need their own space too, but what is the use of being in a relationship yet does not want to make the effort to sustain it? Do people think a relationship or a marriage does not require work to keep the love alive?
My previous guys are all good at talking - a lot. More than me sometimes, and I am already the type that always talks too much. We could carry out good conversations and I could feel my heart melting by the things they say or the letters they write to me.
Only disadvantage is that when I needed their emotional support when I was feeling down, they would give me their two cents' worth on the situation. I did not need them to say anything, just a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes the more they say, the more I would feel down.
Yet they were never that proactive. A lot of times they would not even bother asking me out, and if I asked them out, they would say things like too lazy to go out, did not feel like going out, would rather stay home and play computer games or sleep, so if I liked to meet them, go to their homes.
My current one is totally different. He is a man of few words, but he does a lot. I do most of the talking when we are together. Even though he does not talk a lot, but he shows me more love from the things he do, instead of just mere words. He is really physically and emotionally there for me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear.
I forgot my wallet yesterday, so I asked him for a loan of S$5.00 to tide me through the day. He passed me the cash, together with a S$10 note folded in the shape of a heart. That really put a smile on my face!
Although I feel the pinch for him (it is S$10 after all), but selfishly, I want to keep the note folded and never use it. I have decorated a box for both of us, and it contains things he has given me - the movie ticket stubs, the Baby-G box, receipts of things he had bought me, and now the heart-shaped S$10 note is going in there as well.
He may not be as mushy as my exs, but he takes the initiative to do things for me without me even asking. He pays attention to me and remembers everything I say. He really listens when I speak.
What a girl wants is not just speech extolling her virtues or saying "love you" every hour, but to feel loved, to be well-taken care of, to be paid attention to, and to be listened to when she speaks.
Actions do speak louder than words. I only wish I can make him feel just as loved with my actions.
Obviously if it is due to work, people will prefer someone to be proactive rather than someone who barks a lot but totally inadequate in the job. But what about in other types of relationships? Family, friends, even among couples?
My mum always tells me not to tell her what I want to do. Show her instead. Then when I did manage to show her, she will have other things to say. Oh well .... Maybe she prefers someone like my brother who likes to suck up, but yet totally self-absorbed.
What about friends? When a friend says something, will you expect him / her to do what he / she has said? Will you get mad if your friend does not keep his / her word? To some people, a promise is a promise, no matter how small or minor the thing is. They will kick up a big fuss if a promise is not kept, no matter by whom.
What about in love relationships? Is someone who sweet talk better than someone who does not talk but shows love in other ways? Is saying sweet nothings good if in the end you really do nothing? Words of sweetness only makes a girl feels good, but if no action is taken after that, words alone do not count.
There are many guys like that - empty vessels. They woo a girl with mushy words, melting her heart with every word they say, but in the end do not even make the effort to keep the relationship going.
I have been guilty of falling into this trap too, a couple of times in the past. So did my best friend and a few other girlfriends. I have a friend who just ended her relationship because they guy was so sweet to her, wooed her with kind words, but in the end when they finally got together, they have only gone out once for the past four months!
That is ridiculous! How could any guy claimed he loved the girl yet did not even want to spend time with her? Granted people need their own space too, but what is the use of being in a relationship yet does not want to make the effort to sustain it? Do people think a relationship or a marriage does not require work to keep the love alive?
My previous guys are all good at talking - a lot. More than me sometimes, and I am already the type that always talks too much. We could carry out good conversations and I could feel my heart melting by the things they say or the letters they write to me.
Only disadvantage is that when I needed their emotional support when I was feeling down, they would give me their two cents' worth on the situation. I did not need them to say anything, just a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes the more they say, the more I would feel down.
Yet they were never that proactive. A lot of times they would not even bother asking me out, and if I asked them out, they would say things like too lazy to go out, did not feel like going out, would rather stay home and play computer games or sleep, so if I liked to meet them, go to their homes.
My current one is totally different. He is a man of few words, but he does a lot. I do most of the talking when we are together. Even though he does not talk a lot, but he shows me more love from the things he do, instead of just mere words. He is really physically and emotionally there for me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear.
I forgot my wallet yesterday, so I asked him for a loan of S$5.00 to tide me through the day. He passed me the cash, together with a S$10 note folded in the shape of a heart. That really put a smile on my face!
Although I feel the pinch for him (it is S$10 after all), but selfishly, I want to keep the note folded and never use it. I have decorated a box for both of us, and it contains things he has given me - the movie ticket stubs, the Baby-G box, receipts of things he had bought me, and now the heart-shaped S$10 note is going in there as well.
He may not be as mushy as my exs, but he takes the initiative to do things for me without me even asking. He pays attention to me and remembers everything I say. He really listens when I speak.
What a girl wants is not just speech extolling her virtues or saying "love you" every hour, but to feel loved, to be well-taken care of, to be paid attention to, and to be listened to when she speaks.
Actions do speak louder than words. I only wish I can make him feel just as loved with my actions.
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