Lilypie

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Feelings Of Jealousy ....

I have been feeling extra lethargic lately. No idea why, especially since I have been sleeping earlier for the past few days. I could hardly wake up on time to catch the company transport in the morning, and throughout the day, I shuffled about like a zombie. If I had not been actively occupied with work, I would have fallen asleep right at my desk!

A few days ago, there was an onslaught of feelings rushing over me. Feelings of jealousy? Possessiveness? It started when he was telling me about a friend. I did not kick up a big fuss or whatsoever, but I was not feeling that happy for a while.

It was just a one-off thing anyway, and the next morning, I went back to normal. But it got me thinking, if I really trust him, shall I even get jealous? Afterall, love is not being possessive or selfish.

I pride myself as one of those girls that will not get jealous so easily. Where I see my girl friends tracking their guys down every hour, demanding to know where he is or what he is doing or who he is with, I do not do that, at least not every hour. I do that only when I miss him and wonder what he is doing when I am not around.

So why did I suddenly have the surge of jealousy? That seems so unlike me. I have no right to be jealous actually, because that only shows I do not trust him. How can I then claim I love him if the trust is not even there?

But then I have been told that jealousy and possessiveness is normal if you love someone, because you will not wish to lose the person to someone else. If you do not even get jealous, then that is abnormal because perhaps you do not love the person enough to care or cherish.

Is that really true? Or is jealousy and possessiveness just a sign of not trusting the person enough?

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