I am so pissed! I suffered for a year because of the indifference of someone whom I had no idea why I used to like so much, whereas he was two, three, four-timing me even, and now when everything is over and I am finally out of the pits and able to pick myself up again, he says I am the one at fault and whatever he did was for my own good?!
And he blamed me for throwing a tantrum once, when anyone in my position would have lost their tempers a long time ago from the way they were treated, the way they were never the priority, when it was due to all the accumulated stress and frustration that I finally lost my temper, long over-due for like six months or so?
He said I used to teach, was supposed to be an example for the young, yet how could I lose my temper just like that? I am a human too, and if things get too frustrating, I get angry too! Did he really think I could just keep quiet after everything that happened and how he had treated me?! I have every right to get angry after being so unfairly treated!
And he said I was the one at fault, and should be receptive to what others said?! I was not the one with an ambiguous status, neither was I the one with things to hide, neither was I the one who two-timed. I was the faithful, loyal one, and when I was with him, I was only with him, no one else, and bore as much as I could with however he was treating me!
Since when was a relationship so hidden? As in I never got to meet the parents or the family members or the friends, and he never wanted to meet my family and friends. He never wanted to take any interest in my interests, and never wanted me to take any interest in his. What sort of a relationship was that?!
I held on thinking things could improve, and in the end when I realise things became worse instead, I had to hold on to my sanity to give everything up. And I got blamed for that?! I got blamed for not treasuring or appreciating him, for getting angry, when he treated me as nothing but a backup, a time-filler, and still gave me a hard time for that?!
Honestly, have I ever asked for anything? From what I could remember, no. I never even kicked up a fuss when I suspected his true status, nor did I kick up a fuss when he could not commit more time due to his "family commitments".
I just accepted whatever time he gave me, and looked forward to every moment with him as I knew how precious the time was. Once in a while I would ask if he could spend more time with me, but was I really being so unreasonable by asking that?
So why am I the one who was blamed when I know for a fact in all my conscience that I had done my best in trying to keep the relationship going on my own part, and he was the one that was so half-hearted, having a wife and perhaps a few girlfriends at the side?
He even accused me of not trusting him! He said he did not need to explain, and that if I really trusted him I would not even suspect him. Honestly, why would he not say anything if he really had nothing to hide? His actions alone were already a cause for suspicion. If he really had nothing to hide, why could he not just explain? How did he expect people to trust and have confidence in him if he did not even give them a cause for confidence?
He did not even realise when I finally stopped talking to him! This showed just how much I really meant to him, because if I really did mean anything to him, he would have noticed or cared the moment I stopped talking to him, and not react in such an indifferent way.
Yet, he still think he is the one that was so noble by letting me go, by leaving me when he did, and that I was the one that was so low-class by getting pissed. I think I am already in good control of my temper and emotions. Anyone else would have done something even more drastic already.
He accused me of being so high class in having such high educations, yet I called him names. He claimed he was so nice that even though he did not have as high qualifications he would never want to call anyone any names.
All I said was that truth be told, I thought he was a jerk, because the fact is, he really is one. I think I am already being kind enough, anyone else would have called him worse names in my position!
A pity I am never able to erase this blemish in my life. He expected that things could still remain on good terms, but honestly, it had been hard for me to remain on good terms with him once I saw through him.
Because he is someone that only thinks whatever he does is right and has no qualms having so many girls at his beck and call. But not me. If I ever go on the beck and call of someone, it means that guy is my one and only, and vice versa. I can never share my man with anyone else. Yet he still thinks I am the one at fault, and should listen to what others say about me?!
Do people not realise I am a woman? And a "small woman" at that? I can be very forgiving and open-minded, but then I can be very bitter and narrow-minded too. And if people continue to step on my tail, I can get really nasty. Which is why people always say, never ever offend a woman!
And he blamed me for throwing a tantrum once, when anyone in my position would have lost their tempers a long time ago from the way they were treated, the way they were never the priority, when it was due to all the accumulated stress and frustration that I finally lost my temper, long over-due for like six months or so?
He said I used to teach, was supposed to be an example for the young, yet how could I lose my temper just like that? I am a human too, and if things get too frustrating, I get angry too! Did he really think I could just keep quiet after everything that happened and how he had treated me?! I have every right to get angry after being so unfairly treated!
And he said I was the one at fault, and should be receptive to what others said?! I was not the one with an ambiguous status, neither was I the one with things to hide, neither was I the one who two-timed. I was the faithful, loyal one, and when I was with him, I was only with him, no one else, and bore as much as I could with however he was treating me!
Since when was a relationship so hidden? As in I never got to meet the parents or the family members or the friends, and he never wanted to meet my family and friends. He never wanted to take any interest in my interests, and never wanted me to take any interest in his. What sort of a relationship was that?!
I held on thinking things could improve, and in the end when I realise things became worse instead, I had to hold on to my sanity to give everything up. And I got blamed for that?! I got blamed for not treasuring or appreciating him, for getting angry, when he treated me as nothing but a backup, a time-filler, and still gave me a hard time for that?!
Honestly, have I ever asked for anything? From what I could remember, no. I never even kicked up a fuss when I suspected his true status, nor did I kick up a fuss when he could not commit more time due to his "family commitments".
I just accepted whatever time he gave me, and looked forward to every moment with him as I knew how precious the time was. Once in a while I would ask if he could spend more time with me, but was I really being so unreasonable by asking that?
So why am I the one who was blamed when I know for a fact in all my conscience that I had done my best in trying to keep the relationship going on my own part, and he was the one that was so half-hearted, having a wife and perhaps a few girlfriends at the side?
He even accused me of not trusting him! He said he did not need to explain, and that if I really trusted him I would not even suspect him. Honestly, why would he not say anything if he really had nothing to hide? His actions alone were already a cause for suspicion. If he really had nothing to hide, why could he not just explain? How did he expect people to trust and have confidence in him if he did not even give them a cause for confidence?
He did not even realise when I finally stopped talking to him! This showed just how much I really meant to him, because if I really did mean anything to him, he would have noticed or cared the moment I stopped talking to him, and not react in such an indifferent way.
Yet, he still think he is the one that was so noble by letting me go, by leaving me when he did, and that I was the one that was so low-class by getting pissed. I think I am already in good control of my temper and emotions. Anyone else would have done something even more drastic already.
He accused me of being so high class in having such high educations, yet I called him names. He claimed he was so nice that even though he did not have as high qualifications he would never want to call anyone any names.
All I said was that truth be told, I thought he was a jerk, because the fact is, he really is one. I think I am already being kind enough, anyone else would have called him worse names in my position!
A pity I am never able to erase this blemish in my life. He expected that things could still remain on good terms, but honestly, it had been hard for me to remain on good terms with him once I saw through him.
Because he is someone that only thinks whatever he does is right and has no qualms having so many girls at his beck and call. But not me. If I ever go on the beck and call of someone, it means that guy is my one and only, and vice versa. I can never share my man with anyone else. Yet he still thinks I am the one at fault, and should listen to what others say about me?!
Do people not realise I am a woman? And a "small woman" at that? I can be very forgiving and open-minded, but then I can be very bitter and narrow-minded too. And if people continue to step on my tail, I can get really nasty. Which is why people always say, never ever offend a woman!
0 comments:
Post a Comment