One thing I always wonder is how do people determine who to have a lifelong relationship with? Is there such a thing as instant chemistry, that you know immediately this is the person you want to be with just like that? Or does it take time to really determine?
There are some who know each other for years before finally progressing further, yet there are some who can progress on a fast pace after knowing each other for just a couple of weeks or so. Is there really such a thing as being too fast if one wants to be together with someone else?
To me, I believe in knowing a person well first. Of course, there are some whom I have good impression from the beginning, there are some I can really get along with, and there are some I absolutely do not want to have anything to do with them ever again after the first meeting.
That is why I never enter into a real relationship without first knowing a person for at least half a year (except for one occasion), even though I may like him enough to date him often after just knowing him for like a few weeks or so. But it takes a while to really determine if I want to be with him.
Which is why I do not understand why some people meet new people with the mindset of entering into a relationship immediately. No matter what, both have to start from friends first, is it not?
Granted if the chemistry is not there, then perhaps do not waste time in nurturing the friendship, but what I cannot fathom is why some people think if someone of the opposite gender agrees to meet up, it means the person is also interested in a relationship right from the beginning!
And if the person does not want to plunge in so fast, the other person will just drop and stop contacting altogether, not even wanting to be friends! Is there anything wrong with two people of opposite genders being platonic friends? Does it mean "relationship" the moment two people of opposite genders get to know each other?
At my age and with our busy schedules, it is impossible to meet everyone. There are some people we meet once and then that is it. There are some we know and meet up once in a while as friends. And there are some we can really get along with as close friends. For this, I mean people of both genders (and in between).
But when it comes to a lifelong relationship, there is only one person we can choose. It can be amongst our own group of friends, or it can be someone totally new. But whatever it is, there is no harm meeting new people and making new friends.
So I do not understand why some people, once they feel that the guy / girl is not the type to progress further, they just stop being friends altogether. Not being able to progress further does not mean not being able to remain as friends. After all, in a relationship the level of commitment and communication is much higher than compared to just a friend.
Of course, sometimes one can have many friends and acquaintances, with a few potential mates, yet never able to find the right one. And of course, we do not go out or hang out with just any mere person, or just anyone. If we are to be in the company of people, it have to be people we can get along with.
Like what my best friend once said, "We are no longer little kids where we can still be so emotional. We have to be discerning, as some can only be acquaintance level, some can progress to friends and close friends, but there can be only one that can really progress beyond. So we really have to select who to get along with and who is simply not worth our time."
Which is why there are some I do not mind hanging out with, and there are some I simply do not wish to go out with. Nevertheless, even if I go out with male friends and we can only be friends and not able to progress further, I will still keep them as friends and not stop contacting them altogether.
But just a pity most people do not share my opinion, as they think if I do not wish to progress, then I should not lead them on. Why would I be leading them on if I already said I want to remain as friends and not beyond?
It does not mean I will stop talking to them or going out with them just because we cannot be in a relationship, is it not? So must two people of different genders go out as dates or as a couple, instead of just mere friends? We can enjoy each other's company as friends too, not necessary as a couple.
There are some who know each other for years before finally progressing further, yet there are some who can progress on a fast pace after knowing each other for just a couple of weeks or so. Is there really such a thing as being too fast if one wants to be together with someone else?
To me, I believe in knowing a person well first. Of course, there are some whom I have good impression from the beginning, there are some I can really get along with, and there are some I absolutely do not want to have anything to do with them ever again after the first meeting.
That is why I never enter into a real relationship without first knowing a person for at least half a year (except for one occasion), even though I may like him enough to date him often after just knowing him for like a few weeks or so. But it takes a while to really determine if I want to be with him.
Which is why I do not understand why some people meet new people with the mindset of entering into a relationship immediately. No matter what, both have to start from friends first, is it not?
Granted if the chemistry is not there, then perhaps do not waste time in nurturing the friendship, but what I cannot fathom is why some people think if someone of the opposite gender agrees to meet up, it means the person is also interested in a relationship right from the beginning!
And if the person does not want to plunge in so fast, the other person will just drop and stop contacting altogether, not even wanting to be friends! Is there anything wrong with two people of opposite genders being platonic friends? Does it mean "relationship" the moment two people of opposite genders get to know each other?
At my age and with our busy schedules, it is impossible to meet everyone. There are some people we meet once and then that is it. There are some we know and meet up once in a while as friends. And there are some we can really get along with as close friends. For this, I mean people of both genders (and in between).
But when it comes to a lifelong relationship, there is only one person we can choose. It can be amongst our own group of friends, or it can be someone totally new. But whatever it is, there is no harm meeting new people and making new friends.
So I do not understand why some people, once they feel that the guy / girl is not the type to progress further, they just stop being friends altogether. Not being able to progress further does not mean not being able to remain as friends. After all, in a relationship the level of commitment and communication is much higher than compared to just a friend.
Of course, sometimes one can have many friends and acquaintances, with a few potential mates, yet never able to find the right one. And of course, we do not go out or hang out with just any mere person, or just anyone. If we are to be in the company of people, it have to be people we can get along with.
Like what my best friend once said, "We are no longer little kids where we can still be so emotional. We have to be discerning, as some can only be acquaintance level, some can progress to friends and close friends, but there can be only one that can really progress beyond. So we really have to select who to get along with and who is simply not worth our time."
Which is why there are some I do not mind hanging out with, and there are some I simply do not wish to go out with. Nevertheless, even if I go out with male friends and we can only be friends and not able to progress further, I will still keep them as friends and not stop contacting them altogether.
But just a pity most people do not share my opinion, as they think if I do not wish to progress, then I should not lead them on. Why would I be leading them on if I already said I want to remain as friends and not beyond?
It does not mean I will stop talking to them or going out with them just because we cannot be in a relationship, is it not? So must two people of different genders go out as dates or as a couple, instead of just mere friends? We can enjoy each other's company as friends too, not necessary as a couple.
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