Love equates commitment, although commitment is more than just love. Something which I came up with, after a discussion with a colleague over lunch. Love encompasses acceptance, tolerance, dedication, respect, accommodation and diplomacy. Love is not selfish nor self-centred. Love means ensuring the other party is happy and fulfilled. Love is giving without taking any back.
All of a sudden, I have an epiphany. If I really love a person, I will not care how many of my criteria he fulfils, nor will I see him as the person I hope for him to be, rather than the actual person he is. If we are really compatible in terms of goals, values, commitment and communication, that is all that matters, is it not?
Do I really have to care so much whether he is well-read or whether he is into classical music, or plays the piano and racquet sports, or can write poetry? If he really appreciates me for who I am, truly loves me and want to be with me no matter what happens and what it takes, then I suppose all those will never matter, because we will be all out to do things to make each other happy.
And this discovery has made me so much more relaxed, after the few months of uncertainty and directional loss. Love afterall is about loving an imperfect person perfectly, accepting and tolerating the differences, respecting each other fully and being committed through good and bad.
So perhaps my (past) oft-misguided feelings are a prelude to better things. That is not to say I am throwing away my entire criteria list though, but I am keeping an open mind now and not be too quick write anyone off (unless that person is really insufferable, a pervert or a walking chimney). Looks like I can finally let go of all the things in my mind and look forward to something more beautiful to come!
All of a sudden, I have an epiphany. If I really love a person, I will not care how many of my criteria he fulfils, nor will I see him as the person I hope for him to be, rather than the actual person he is. If we are really compatible in terms of goals, values, commitment and communication, that is all that matters, is it not?
Do I really have to care so much whether he is well-read or whether he is into classical music, or plays the piano and racquet sports, or can write poetry? If he really appreciates me for who I am, truly loves me and want to be with me no matter what happens and what it takes, then I suppose all those will never matter, because we will be all out to do things to make each other happy.
And this discovery has made me so much more relaxed, after the few months of uncertainty and directional loss. Love afterall is about loving an imperfect person perfectly, accepting and tolerating the differences, respecting each other fully and being committed through good and bad.
So perhaps my (past) oft-misguided feelings are a prelude to better things. That is not to say I am throwing away my entire criteria list though, but I am keeping an open mind now and not be too quick write anyone off (unless that person is really insufferable, a pervert or a walking chimney). Looks like I can finally let go of all the things in my mind and look forward to something more beautiful to come!
3 comments:
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I'm gonna be the first to say:
"I told ya so :P"
Haha, yes, I expect so! :-p
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