My friend just said I am crazy, because my guy just spent the night (ie after work to about 11:00pm, not the whole night) with a female friend of his. She says how can I allow it especially we only just became an official item?
Why not? He is entitled to have his own friends. Besides, he knows that lady for almost twenty years already, since they were schoolmates. She is married with two kids, and he is the godfather to one of them.
I have guy friends whom I have also known for close to twenty years, and we do still hang out together once in a while. The bottomline is trust. How can a relationship survive without any mutual trust?
My friend is just worried about me, knowing my relationship history. She said guys can only be trusted this much. How can I guarantee there is no hanky-panky behind my back? Besides, what about the times when someone compared me to his female classmate, or another someone went to a lady friend’s house in the middle of the night, bringing her food, and a lady answered his phone in a hotel room overseas?
Even my cousin does not fully trust her husband, although he is so good to her. She is always a nervous freak whenever he goes overseas, and she keeps his passport so that he will not be able to just go off on his own anytime he likes.
Must people be so drastic sometimes? If you chose the guy in the first place, ought you not trust him? So guys fall into temptation much better than girls, which accounts that guys can only be trusted 80% to 90%, but guys will not feel good if their own girlfriends or wives do not trust them completely.
I know even my mum does not trust my dad completely. She is always under so much tension each time he is away, and is really relieved and happy only when he is back. But nobody feels good if he / she is not trusted.
I have been with guys less trusting than me. I was always the one not allowed to go out with other guys whereas they could just go out with other girls. Hopefully this new guy is more trusting, but then again, we tell each other almost everything, on what we do and who we are with.
I guess for the trust to build up, there must be communication and accountability. He told me that he does not believe in restricting his girl from doing anything she likes. I told him that it would be risky, as if he really goes ahead and allows her to do things, who is to say she will not two-time him (not that I will ever do that)?
He said of course not to the extent that he does not even know what she is doing, so both parties must always communicate and tell each other everything. There must still be a scope of control, ie know where each other is at whatever time of the day.
That was how I used to function in relationships. I used to tell my guy everything, but they never bothered telling me anything. I guess if there is no communication or accountability, then the seeds of doubt will have been sown.
Still, I think I am a pretty trusting person, too much at times for my own disadvantage. I used to tell my friends if they do not trust their guys, why be with him or stick with him? They of all people should be able to know the type of guy they are with.
Of course, if the guy betrays the trust, then that is it. Trust, once broken, can never be gained back. Which is why once I got dumped for someone else, the guy do not ever dream of ever getting back together with me, no matter how remourseful he is.
Why not? He is entitled to have his own friends. Besides, he knows that lady for almost twenty years already, since they were schoolmates. She is married with two kids, and he is the godfather to one of them.
I have guy friends whom I have also known for close to twenty years, and we do still hang out together once in a while. The bottomline is trust. How can a relationship survive without any mutual trust?
My friend is just worried about me, knowing my relationship history. She said guys can only be trusted this much. How can I guarantee there is no hanky-panky behind my back? Besides, what about the times when someone compared me to his female classmate, or another someone went to a lady friend’s house in the middle of the night, bringing her food, and a lady answered his phone in a hotel room overseas?
Even my cousin does not fully trust her husband, although he is so good to her. She is always a nervous freak whenever he goes overseas, and she keeps his passport so that he will not be able to just go off on his own anytime he likes.
Must people be so drastic sometimes? If you chose the guy in the first place, ought you not trust him? So guys fall into temptation much better than girls, which accounts that guys can only be trusted 80% to 90%, but guys will not feel good if their own girlfriends or wives do not trust them completely.
I know even my mum does not trust my dad completely. She is always under so much tension each time he is away, and is really relieved and happy only when he is back. But nobody feels good if he / she is not trusted.
I have been with guys less trusting than me. I was always the one not allowed to go out with other guys whereas they could just go out with other girls. Hopefully this new guy is more trusting, but then again, we tell each other almost everything, on what we do and who we are with.
I guess for the trust to build up, there must be communication and accountability. He told me that he does not believe in restricting his girl from doing anything she likes. I told him that it would be risky, as if he really goes ahead and allows her to do things, who is to say she will not two-time him (not that I will ever do that)?
He said of course not to the extent that he does not even know what she is doing, so both parties must always communicate and tell each other everything. There must still be a scope of control, ie know where each other is at whatever time of the day.
That was how I used to function in relationships. I used to tell my guy everything, but they never bothered telling me anything. I guess if there is no communication or accountability, then the seeds of doubt will have been sown.
Still, I think I am a pretty trusting person, too much at times for my own disadvantage. I used to tell my friends if they do not trust their guys, why be with him or stick with him? They of all people should be able to know the type of guy they are with.
Of course, if the guy betrays the trust, then that is it. Trust, once broken, can never be gained back. Which is why once I got dumped for someone else, the guy do not ever dream of ever getting back together with me, no matter how remourseful he is.
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