Most of my peers grow up with “typical” parents who want their kids to do Medicine or Law or Engineering, including mine. I remember my mum used to tell me that she would be so glorified if our family can groom a lawyer. I know these parents mean well, but on the other hand, their children may resent them for being made to do things which they do not like.
I know people who studied a certain course because their parents wanted them to, then upon graduation, told their parents it was time to do what they liked. Good idea, but then in that case they have spent the years mugging away for nothing, when they could have just done what they wanted in the first place.
I have friends who did Medicine or Law or Engineering or Architecture just because their parents insisted on them doing those courses. In the end they hated what they studied (even though some of them were really good at their work) and refused to enter those professions.
My second ex never wanted to do Law. He did it only because he made the grade and he was from the Arts stream, so it was rather limited to choose a course as he was not eligible for most other courses. Yet he had never utilized whatever he studied.
My third ex never wanted to do Engineering as well, but his dad wanted to groom an engineer and his friends all went into Engineering, so he chose the course to please his parents and be with his friends.
In the end, he struggled through the course, hated his Engineering studies, and now branching out into a totally different area without ever working as an engineer, and wasted all his years of studies.
My mum has a friend who has two daughters. The elder one is better in her studies and the younger one is just average. The parents made the elder one study Law, but once she graduated, she chose to be a tour leader as she wanted to travel.
The younger girl went to a local design school to study Fashion Design, and now she is one of the up and coming fashion designers of the era, earning even more money than what her parents have ever imagined.
But why must parents impose what they want on us? If I had insisted on my way and not listened to my parents, I could have achieved success at a much younger age and spent my life doing what I love, instead of being stuck in a rut now.
Parents think only by taking Medicine or Law or Engineering that we can be assured of a good future, as these are the professions that earn the most money, most glamorous and people will look at you in admiration if you say you are in one of these jobs.
What they fail (or perhaps inconveniently forget) to mention is that these are also the professions that are the most highly-stressed, and if you do not like what you do, you may not last for long there.
Parents all want a good future for their children, but as long as the children themselves like what they do, does it matter what course they study and what they end up doing next time as long as they are eking out a decent living on their own? Is money, glamour or face so important to the parents rather than their own kids’ happiness?
Many people have the mentality that they want to be a doctor or a lawyer because they want lots and lots of money. This should not be the attitude. One should always do something with the idea that you like it and it will benefit others.
Like if one wants to be a doctor, it should be on the basis that doctors cure the sick and help them recover, not on how much money one can earn. No doubt everyone is making a living, but does that mean that a poor sick person should not be cured just because he / she does not have the money to pay?
Or if one wants to be a lawyer, it should be on the mentality that you are doing a service to others by helping them solve their property dispute, or helping a person wrongly accused, or sentence a guilty person. One reason I do not want to be a lawyer after all is because there is a risk of getting a murderer off.
If I had become a lawyer, I could not refuse the case just because I believed the client guilty, all the more so if the client pays a lot and if the main partner asked me to take the case. It is as if as long as a murderer is willing to pay good money, one must try his / her best to get him / her off scot free. That is something that is against my principles and I would never be able to live with myself when that happened.
I do not wish to continue working in a law firm also because I see some poor people coming to seek advice, yet the lawyers charge them equally as per normal rate. Losing a few thousand is nothing to the lawyer considering what they earn, but that amount can be someone’s life savings.
I always thought that since we are in this line, it is our job to give advise, so even if one cannot afford to pay, we should not turn them away or quote them something high. The worst thing was to chase for payment from people who genuinely could not afford the high fees.
There had also been reports of some lawyers who used the law to their advantage and got involved in bribery, extortion and corruption. That should not be the case. Has greed really gone into a person so much that besides money, nothing else, not even conscience, matters anymore?
Has the society become so heartless that without money, nothing else can happen? If someone is dying but has not money on him, should the doctor not save him as first priority rather than worry if he can afford the fees?
If someone is wrongfully accused but is declared a bankrupt, should the lawyer not help get him off the hook before he gets hanged for nothing, rather than turning him away just because he will not be able to pay?
I am not against doctors or lawyers per se. In fact, I hold them in very high regard, because they are smart and capable enough to go through such tough courses and meet the demands of their work.
All I am saying is that to go into this line, one should give priority to help others in need, rather than monetary rewards. Overall, if one wants to study Medicine or Law or whatsoever, it must be because they are guided by passion, not because of the glamour or cash returns or giving their parents “face”.
If one has no passion for the job, then no matter how much money one is paid or how glamorous the job is, you will not like what you do and find your life meaningless after a while wondering why you are stuck in something you hate.
I know people who studied a certain course because their parents wanted them to, then upon graduation, told their parents it was time to do what they liked. Good idea, but then in that case they have spent the years mugging away for nothing, when they could have just done what they wanted in the first place.
I have friends who did Medicine or Law or Engineering or Architecture just because their parents insisted on them doing those courses. In the end they hated what they studied (even though some of them were really good at their work) and refused to enter those professions.
My second ex never wanted to do Law. He did it only because he made the grade and he was from the Arts stream, so it was rather limited to choose a course as he was not eligible for most other courses. Yet he had never utilized whatever he studied.
My third ex never wanted to do Engineering as well, but his dad wanted to groom an engineer and his friends all went into Engineering, so he chose the course to please his parents and be with his friends.
In the end, he struggled through the course, hated his Engineering studies, and now branching out into a totally different area without ever working as an engineer, and wasted all his years of studies.
My mum has a friend who has two daughters. The elder one is better in her studies and the younger one is just average. The parents made the elder one study Law, but once she graduated, she chose to be a tour leader as she wanted to travel.
The younger girl went to a local design school to study Fashion Design, and now she is one of the up and coming fashion designers of the era, earning even more money than what her parents have ever imagined.
But why must parents impose what they want on us? If I had insisted on my way and not listened to my parents, I could have achieved success at a much younger age and spent my life doing what I love, instead of being stuck in a rut now.
Parents think only by taking Medicine or Law or Engineering that we can be assured of a good future, as these are the professions that earn the most money, most glamorous and people will look at you in admiration if you say you are in one of these jobs.
What they fail (or perhaps inconveniently forget) to mention is that these are also the professions that are the most highly-stressed, and if you do not like what you do, you may not last for long there.
Parents all want a good future for their children, but as long as the children themselves like what they do, does it matter what course they study and what they end up doing next time as long as they are eking out a decent living on their own? Is money, glamour or face so important to the parents rather than their own kids’ happiness?
Many people have the mentality that they want to be a doctor or a lawyer because they want lots and lots of money. This should not be the attitude. One should always do something with the idea that you like it and it will benefit others.
Like if one wants to be a doctor, it should be on the basis that doctors cure the sick and help them recover, not on how much money one can earn. No doubt everyone is making a living, but does that mean that a poor sick person should not be cured just because he / she does not have the money to pay?
Or if one wants to be a lawyer, it should be on the mentality that you are doing a service to others by helping them solve their property dispute, or helping a person wrongly accused, or sentence a guilty person. One reason I do not want to be a lawyer after all is because there is a risk of getting a murderer off.
If I had become a lawyer, I could not refuse the case just because I believed the client guilty, all the more so if the client pays a lot and if the main partner asked me to take the case. It is as if as long as a murderer is willing to pay good money, one must try his / her best to get him / her off scot free. That is something that is against my principles and I would never be able to live with myself when that happened.
I do not wish to continue working in a law firm also because I see some poor people coming to seek advice, yet the lawyers charge them equally as per normal rate. Losing a few thousand is nothing to the lawyer considering what they earn, but that amount can be someone’s life savings.
I always thought that since we are in this line, it is our job to give advise, so even if one cannot afford to pay, we should not turn them away or quote them something high. The worst thing was to chase for payment from people who genuinely could not afford the high fees.
There had also been reports of some lawyers who used the law to their advantage and got involved in bribery, extortion and corruption. That should not be the case. Has greed really gone into a person so much that besides money, nothing else, not even conscience, matters anymore?
Has the society become so heartless that without money, nothing else can happen? If someone is dying but has not money on him, should the doctor not save him as first priority rather than worry if he can afford the fees?
If someone is wrongfully accused but is declared a bankrupt, should the lawyer not help get him off the hook before he gets hanged for nothing, rather than turning him away just because he will not be able to pay?
I am not against doctors or lawyers per se. In fact, I hold them in very high regard, because they are smart and capable enough to go through such tough courses and meet the demands of their work.
All I am saying is that to go into this line, one should give priority to help others in need, rather than monetary rewards. Overall, if one wants to study Medicine or Law or whatsoever, it must be because they are guided by passion, not because of the glamour or cash returns or giving their parents “face”.
If one has no passion for the job, then no matter how much money one is paid or how glamorous the job is, you will not like what you do and find your life meaningless after a while wondering why you are stuck in something you hate.
1 comments:
I think passion is a very strong driving force in a career. Like as in it is better to enjoy your work rather than to dread it every morning you wake up.
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