Alright, I have finally succumbed…. to this wonderful thing called “love”, again! Perhaps most of you will think it is fast, and I do admit, it is the fastest I have ever been in deciding to enter a relationship, but then, when it comes to my age, one does not need a very long period of time to know if the person suits you. One knows by experiences, instinct and action.
Besides, after what he has done, I will be too heartless if I still do not give him a chance. No one has ever gone to that extent for me. But then I am accepting him not because of the things he has done, but because I finally realize he is worth it, and he will be able to make me happy.
I still cannot believe what happened on Sunday night! The doorbell rang at 10:15pm, interrupting my mum from her news programme. When she answered the door, the guy at the gate said it was a special delivery package for me.
So my mum called for me and asked what in the world I ordered that it must be delivered at such an hour? I was equally bewildered as I have not ordered anything since late last year. Besides, normally I would choose to receive things I ordered by normal mail, not by special delivery.
I went downstairs and the guy asked for confirmation of my name and mobile number. After that, he handed me a bouquet of flowers, together with a duplicate copy of the delivery slip. I was too stunned for words! This is the first time someone actually sent me flowers right at my doorstep!
It is a big bouquet of three white lilies, with purple forget-me-nots, two peach roses and sprigs of baby’s breath. Although it is not the biggest bouquet I have been given, but this is the first bouquet that brought tears to my eyes.
Firstly, the flowers are sent to my doorstep although I have not even given him my address. Okay, he has walked me back a few times, so if he takes the time to observe, he will know my house number and the street name. Just that the other guys who had walked me home before will not bother to know my actual address unless I tell them, despite how many times they have come over.
Secondly, the bouquet consists of my favourite flowers, and in the type of arrangement I like. I have only mentioned it once, when he asked about my favourite flowers and floral arrangement. He actually took the trouble to remember my tastes, not like some others who are so scatter-brained that no matter how many times they are told, they never remember (and it is not just on flowers, but all other things).
I sent him a message after I received the bouquet, to thank him for his thoughtfulness and trouble. He told me it is nothing much as long as I like it and I am happy. It may not be a big deal to anyone else, but it is a big deal to me, as no guy has ever gone to such lengths for me.
I am so touched that I really cried, until my brother came in and asked if I was laughing or crying. I went to bed that night with such a big smile on my face, thinking of all the nice and sweet things he has done.
I asked myself what am I still waiting for now that I have such a guy who is willing to go to such lengths just to make me happy? Do I really have to bother what he is lacking or what criteria he does not fulfil if he is so willing to do everything for me?
As most of you will probably recall, I had some reservations. Firstly, the age gap. Secondly, the religion factor. Thirdly, I have my own set of criteria on what type I am looking for, which many of you claim is impossible to meet all the requirements.
Fourthly, I never thought I will ever be involved in a real office romance. And fifthly, I do not know how my best friend will react if I hitch up with a guy who looks a lot like the guy she is still pining for.
It took a long time of pondering before I finally made this decision. There were fears, like what if it does not work out again? I am no longer at the age where I can still test the waters and if it does not work, move on and find another. I am at the age where it is the last chance I have for a relationship to work out.
Besides, being in an office romance is not all a bed of roses. We may see each other day in day out, but then, it is different when you are a couple and you see each other but not let on that you are seeing each other. And if the romance fails, it will be too unbearable since we will still see each other around.
And then there were other doubts. We have been meeting up almost every Saturday, and sometimes after work, and he is always so nice, so caring and so sweet, and I wondered if it was because he was only pursuing me. But then, sincerity and commitment do show, during our chatting sessions, during our outings. I daresay he has earned my trust that he is a real swell guy.
I showed my best friend his photo and sounded her out on this issue. She said that in the first place, she does not think the two guys look that alike since our friend is more refined and scholarly-looking. And she says to go ahead as long as I am happy and sure.
I was looking for someone who is smart, a graduate, of the same religion, a metrosexual, an interesting person, someone fun to be with, someone caring and chivalrous, someone mature, independent and committed.
So he is not a graduate. That does not make him any less smart. He is not of the same religion, but at least he lets me believe in what I believe in, and never puts down my religion, which is more than I can say for some other guys.
He is rather quiet and shy (as evidenced that he took so long just to talk to me, if it is true that he had noticed me for quite some time, as he claimed), and he is a homely guy. Where can you find a homely guy nowadays?
But he is mature, independent (since he moved out to stay on his own a few years back), responsible, filial (he still visits his parents every week and bring them out, but not to the extent of being a mummy’s boy), committed and good with children (he babysits his sister’s kids whenever she needs him), and that is what most girls want. Once girls are past the stage where they no longer go for “bad” guys, they will want someone stable to be with.
But the thing is all these criteria which I listed out are not important. What is important is he really loves me, he really does things out of his own accord to make me happy. I have finally found someone who loves me more than I love him, and someone who is so committed and really into me. Is that not what I always want – a guy who really loves me?
He supports everything I do. I can go for my singing, my studies, my dancing, my church activities, and he will just ask me to go ahead. He says he does not believe in restricting others from what they want to do.
Every time we go out, he will always go wherever I go, do whatever I do. And he always insists on a place near my home so it will be safer for me to go home, no matter how far from his home the place is.
In comparison, the guys I have been with are my age, and they are too self-centred. My exs always asked me to meet them at their homes, or near their areas, as they did not like to go too far away. Yet they never wanted to meet me near my area.
I used to have to justify my actions to others, explain why I wanted to take up so many activities, put up with tantrums whenever I could not meet up due to my activities. I used to have to follow people around to do what they want. I used to spend my time catering to others’ wishes.
Now I realize I have been such a fool. Why did I ever have to put up with all these? I used to think that if one loves someone, it does not matter, but clearly it was always me who seemed to love others more.
But now I have never felt so well taken care of, so loved. I have never felt so happy in a relationship before. This is the first relationship I am in that I do not even need to do much, yet so many things are being done for me.
I never knew what is true, selfless love until now. And my mum’s words finally made sense to me – to find an older guy, as an older guy is really different from a younger one. The maturity level and security is really there.
Now I know why so many girls go for guys so much older. And it is not for money (well, at least not for my case), but because older guys (at least for me and my friends’ cases) really know how to treat their girlfriends well, and think of the girls’ welfare first instead of themselves.
I can forever go around finding the perfect one, but in this case, I will lose the perfect one for me. Just like in the local movie “I Do, I Do”, the lead actress learnt that the perfect guy for her is not that perfect after all, and the one whom she deems as “not good enough” is actually the one that truly loves her and will sacrifice himself just for her.
The lesson is not to be so choosy, as sometimes the one whom you deem as really for you may not necessarily be the one that is true to you. I learnt the hard way that for a girl to be truly happy, find a guy who will go out of the way to make her happy and not the other way.
I do not know how the future will be (although I do want us to last), but I know if I let him go and not give him a chance, I will regret it for life. And I am sure never going to screw up this time round. Which means, I am attached, again!
Besides, after what he has done, I will be too heartless if I still do not give him a chance. No one has ever gone to that extent for me. But then I am accepting him not because of the things he has done, but because I finally realize he is worth it, and he will be able to make me happy.
I still cannot believe what happened on Sunday night! The doorbell rang at 10:15pm, interrupting my mum from her news programme. When she answered the door, the guy at the gate said it was a special delivery package for me.
So my mum called for me and asked what in the world I ordered that it must be delivered at such an hour? I was equally bewildered as I have not ordered anything since late last year. Besides, normally I would choose to receive things I ordered by normal mail, not by special delivery.
I went downstairs and the guy asked for confirmation of my name and mobile number. After that, he handed me a bouquet of flowers, together with a duplicate copy of the delivery slip. I was too stunned for words! This is the first time someone actually sent me flowers right at my doorstep!
It is a big bouquet of three white lilies, with purple forget-me-nots, two peach roses and sprigs of baby’s breath. Although it is not the biggest bouquet I have been given, but this is the first bouquet that brought tears to my eyes.
Firstly, the flowers are sent to my doorstep although I have not even given him my address. Okay, he has walked me back a few times, so if he takes the time to observe, he will know my house number and the street name. Just that the other guys who had walked me home before will not bother to know my actual address unless I tell them, despite how many times they have come over.
Secondly, the bouquet consists of my favourite flowers, and in the type of arrangement I like. I have only mentioned it once, when he asked about my favourite flowers and floral arrangement. He actually took the trouble to remember my tastes, not like some others who are so scatter-brained that no matter how many times they are told, they never remember (and it is not just on flowers, but all other things).
I sent him a message after I received the bouquet, to thank him for his thoughtfulness and trouble. He told me it is nothing much as long as I like it and I am happy. It may not be a big deal to anyone else, but it is a big deal to me, as no guy has ever gone to such lengths for me.
I am so touched that I really cried, until my brother came in and asked if I was laughing or crying. I went to bed that night with such a big smile on my face, thinking of all the nice and sweet things he has done.
I asked myself what am I still waiting for now that I have such a guy who is willing to go to such lengths just to make me happy? Do I really have to bother what he is lacking or what criteria he does not fulfil if he is so willing to do everything for me?
As most of you will probably recall, I had some reservations. Firstly, the age gap. Secondly, the religion factor. Thirdly, I have my own set of criteria on what type I am looking for, which many of you claim is impossible to meet all the requirements.
Fourthly, I never thought I will ever be involved in a real office romance. And fifthly, I do not know how my best friend will react if I hitch up with a guy who looks a lot like the guy she is still pining for.
It took a long time of pondering before I finally made this decision. There were fears, like what if it does not work out again? I am no longer at the age where I can still test the waters and if it does not work, move on and find another. I am at the age where it is the last chance I have for a relationship to work out.
Besides, being in an office romance is not all a bed of roses. We may see each other day in day out, but then, it is different when you are a couple and you see each other but not let on that you are seeing each other. And if the romance fails, it will be too unbearable since we will still see each other around.
And then there were other doubts. We have been meeting up almost every Saturday, and sometimes after work, and he is always so nice, so caring and so sweet, and I wondered if it was because he was only pursuing me. But then, sincerity and commitment do show, during our chatting sessions, during our outings. I daresay he has earned my trust that he is a real swell guy.
I showed my best friend his photo and sounded her out on this issue. She said that in the first place, she does not think the two guys look that alike since our friend is more refined and scholarly-looking. And she says to go ahead as long as I am happy and sure.
I was looking for someone who is smart, a graduate, of the same religion, a metrosexual, an interesting person, someone fun to be with, someone caring and chivalrous, someone mature, independent and committed.
So he is not a graduate. That does not make him any less smart. He is not of the same religion, but at least he lets me believe in what I believe in, and never puts down my religion, which is more than I can say for some other guys.
He is rather quiet and shy (as evidenced that he took so long just to talk to me, if it is true that he had noticed me for quite some time, as he claimed), and he is a homely guy. Where can you find a homely guy nowadays?
But he is mature, independent (since he moved out to stay on his own a few years back), responsible, filial (he still visits his parents every week and bring them out, but not to the extent of being a mummy’s boy), committed and good with children (he babysits his sister’s kids whenever she needs him), and that is what most girls want. Once girls are past the stage where they no longer go for “bad” guys, they will want someone stable to be with.
But the thing is all these criteria which I listed out are not important. What is important is he really loves me, he really does things out of his own accord to make me happy. I have finally found someone who loves me more than I love him, and someone who is so committed and really into me. Is that not what I always want – a guy who really loves me?
He supports everything I do. I can go for my singing, my studies, my dancing, my church activities, and he will just ask me to go ahead. He says he does not believe in restricting others from what they want to do.
Every time we go out, he will always go wherever I go, do whatever I do. And he always insists on a place near my home so it will be safer for me to go home, no matter how far from his home the place is.
In comparison, the guys I have been with are my age, and they are too self-centred. My exs always asked me to meet them at their homes, or near their areas, as they did not like to go too far away. Yet they never wanted to meet me near my area.
I used to have to justify my actions to others, explain why I wanted to take up so many activities, put up with tantrums whenever I could not meet up due to my activities. I used to have to follow people around to do what they want. I used to spend my time catering to others’ wishes.
Now I realize I have been such a fool. Why did I ever have to put up with all these? I used to think that if one loves someone, it does not matter, but clearly it was always me who seemed to love others more.
But now I have never felt so well taken care of, so loved. I have never felt so happy in a relationship before. This is the first relationship I am in that I do not even need to do much, yet so many things are being done for me.
I never knew what is true, selfless love until now. And my mum’s words finally made sense to me – to find an older guy, as an older guy is really different from a younger one. The maturity level and security is really there.
Now I know why so many girls go for guys so much older. And it is not for money (well, at least not for my case), but because older guys (at least for me and my friends’ cases) really know how to treat their girlfriends well, and think of the girls’ welfare first instead of themselves.
I can forever go around finding the perfect one, but in this case, I will lose the perfect one for me. Just like in the local movie “I Do, I Do”, the lead actress learnt that the perfect guy for her is not that perfect after all, and the one whom she deems as “not good enough” is actually the one that truly loves her and will sacrifice himself just for her.
The lesson is not to be so choosy, as sometimes the one whom you deem as really for you may not necessarily be the one that is true to you. I learnt the hard way that for a girl to be truly happy, find a guy who will go out of the way to make her happy and not the other way.
I do not know how the future will be (although I do want us to last), but I know if I let him go and not give him a chance, I will regret it for life. And I am sure never going to screw up this time round. Which means, I am attached, again!
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