I cannot stand my supervisor anymore! The only reason I am still working under her is because I told myself to stick to this job for a year or two, and besides, I do not really mind what I am doing. But she has to go pick on everything I do!
No doubt once in a while, I overlooked certain things and committed minor errors, and she pointed out to me, which I humbly accepted, apologised and promised not to make the same mistake.
But she has to pick on everything I do! Even to my dress code. I came from more formal environments where I needed to wear suits to work, but other than that, anything else I wear to work has always been acceptable.
Yet she never approves of what I wear. When my skirt is above the knees, she commented that it is too short. When I wore a long skirt, she commented it is too long. She commented my executive dresses are too short because the length is above the knees, and asked if I needed to go shopping for a new wardrobe.
So I went shopping, and bought a few more blouses, skirts, pants and shirtdresses. Typical office wear. I wore a shirtdress a few days ago. Perhaps it is made of denim material, but on the surface, it does not look like denim.
Anyway, it is a dress, so acceptable to be worn to the office. If I wear that to any other office, it is acceptable too. If it is not acceptable, my mum would have told me not to wear, since she herself is a HR person.
My supervisor then said that denim material is not allowed, except on Fridays. I explained that as far as I know, what I am wearing is a full dress, not a denim skirt or jeans, so I thought it would be acceptable to the office.
Then she said that why must I always wear the wrong thing despite all the times she told me about my dress code? She asked is it because the management people wear that so I followed suit? But I cannot compare myself to the management people.
I was getting really irritated. She has no right to give me personal attacks. She asked is it because other people also wear that is why I thought I can wear? So I said yes, I saw other colleagues wear a denim dress to work before, some even the spaghetti strap type of dress and got away with it.
Then she said what people of other departments wear is not her concern as long as their supervisor does not mind, but she minds, as she does not want the HR or management to ask her why is her staff wearing denim to work?
She added that she has already told me about my dress code more than once, yet I still wear the wrong things. Am I trying to show that I am defiant?
I was so angry after that. What right does she have to say anything about what I wear considering that it is not as if she dresses very well to work as well? All she wears are normal pants and short-sleeve blouses, exactly like a frumpy middle-aged lady!
Does she expect me to dress like her age? No way! I am so much younger than her, if I do not wear clothes that befit my age now, I will soon no longer have the chance to wear them already!
And honestly, it is not like I always wear something informal. I always wear long-sleeve blouses, or executive dresses, with executive skirts and pants. I seldom wear jeans or denim skirts even on Fridays when we can dress down!
I believe I dress more formally and better than the rest of my colleagues already. There are some who wears polo T-shirts and spaghetti tops and tank tops, with corduroy to work on a non-Friday! Are these even more less allowed to be worn to the office?
And how can she comment that I do not follow dress code when she was the one who was late and wearing a white casual top with denim skirt for our company dinner few months back when I was the one in the formal oriental attire? So was she showing lots of respect to our big bosses then?
Not just on dress code, but she will comment on everything else I do. There was once the printer jammed, thus I stood at the printer and fiddled with some of the buttons until my document printed out. And to ensure the document printed out properly, I remained at the printer.
She asked me why did I have to waste time standing at the printer waiting for the document to print out? I could just stay at my desk and do my work, instead of waiting for so long.
When I do not work overtime, she asked why is it that I do not offer to stay back and help my colleauges out who are working late? How much can I contribute by going off on time? I go off because I have already finished my work! If I still have work to do, I will stay back and finish it, and not go off on time!
When I worked overtime, she will say why am I still in the office? Do I really have so much work to do? She said that the minimum requirement she wants of her staff is to be responsible and committed, but if I go off on time and wear the wrong thing to office, what am I showing?
She said she is the one with the family and kids, yet she works late all the time. I am single, so all the more I have no reason not to work late. Does it mean I do not have a life of my own then? I have my chorus activities, my studies, and my family time as well!
She also said that if I do not dress well, how will I ever attract any guys? No wonder I am still single. I still have to find a boyfriend and get married some day, so I should wear something appropriate so I can attract a nice man. What makes her think she knows everything about me?!
Does it mean that if I do not work late I am less responsible or committed? As for my dressing, even my mum says that what I wear is better than what her own staff wears already, and my mum always goes to work in a suit and expects the same formality from her staff.
What makes her think I have nothing to do? Does she know the amount of work I do for others? She said I am always at my desk and not walking around talking to people, so I do not seem to know what is going on in the department. And how can a relatively new staff be so quiet and not mix around?
What makes her think I do not know what is going on? I do not need to find out information just by idling around and gossiping with others. I ask of my own accord if there is something I do not know. I have better things to do than to walk around and talk to others and get invovled in office politics!
There was once when I forgot my staff pass, so I asked my colleague if she could open the door for me. Somehow my supervisor got to know about it, then she asked that why is it I expect people to open the door for me? This tells a lot about my upbringing. Is it because I live in landed property and has a maid, so my parents spoilt me and that is why I expect people to do things for me?
She does not have to attack my family! It was only a one-off incident, does it mean to say that nobody else ever forget their staff passes and needed someone to open the door for them? I cannot understand why she must make all those personal attacks on my character and my family background!
My supervisor is really driving me crazy! If it is not because of the promise to myself, I would have just resigned. But if I resign, then she will win, thinking that I cannot take it just because she criticises me. So I want to stay on and prove to her that I am not going to let her negative comments put me down.
No doubt once in a while, I overlooked certain things and committed minor errors, and she pointed out to me, which I humbly accepted, apologised and promised not to make the same mistake.
But she has to pick on everything I do! Even to my dress code. I came from more formal environments where I needed to wear suits to work, but other than that, anything else I wear to work has always been acceptable.
Yet she never approves of what I wear. When my skirt is above the knees, she commented that it is too short. When I wore a long skirt, she commented it is too long. She commented my executive dresses are too short because the length is above the knees, and asked if I needed to go shopping for a new wardrobe.
So I went shopping, and bought a few more blouses, skirts, pants and shirtdresses. Typical office wear. I wore a shirtdress a few days ago. Perhaps it is made of denim material, but on the surface, it does not look like denim.
Anyway, it is a dress, so acceptable to be worn to the office. If I wear that to any other office, it is acceptable too. If it is not acceptable, my mum would have told me not to wear, since she herself is a HR person.
My supervisor then said that denim material is not allowed, except on Fridays. I explained that as far as I know, what I am wearing is a full dress, not a denim skirt or jeans, so I thought it would be acceptable to the office.
Then she said that why must I always wear the wrong thing despite all the times she told me about my dress code? She asked is it because the management people wear that so I followed suit? But I cannot compare myself to the management people.
I was getting really irritated. She has no right to give me personal attacks. She asked is it because other people also wear that is why I thought I can wear? So I said yes, I saw other colleagues wear a denim dress to work before, some even the spaghetti strap type of dress and got away with it.
Then she said what people of other departments wear is not her concern as long as their supervisor does not mind, but she minds, as she does not want the HR or management to ask her why is her staff wearing denim to work?
She added that she has already told me about my dress code more than once, yet I still wear the wrong things. Am I trying to show that I am defiant?
I was so angry after that. What right does she have to say anything about what I wear considering that it is not as if she dresses very well to work as well? All she wears are normal pants and short-sleeve blouses, exactly like a frumpy middle-aged lady!
Does she expect me to dress like her age? No way! I am so much younger than her, if I do not wear clothes that befit my age now, I will soon no longer have the chance to wear them already!
And honestly, it is not like I always wear something informal. I always wear long-sleeve blouses, or executive dresses, with executive skirts and pants. I seldom wear jeans or denim skirts even on Fridays when we can dress down!
I believe I dress more formally and better than the rest of my colleagues already. There are some who wears polo T-shirts and spaghetti tops and tank tops, with corduroy to work on a non-Friday! Are these even more less allowed to be worn to the office?
And how can she comment that I do not follow dress code when she was the one who was late and wearing a white casual top with denim skirt for our company dinner few months back when I was the one in the formal oriental attire? So was she showing lots of respect to our big bosses then?
Not just on dress code, but she will comment on everything else I do. There was once the printer jammed, thus I stood at the printer and fiddled with some of the buttons until my document printed out. And to ensure the document printed out properly, I remained at the printer.
She asked me why did I have to waste time standing at the printer waiting for the document to print out? I could just stay at my desk and do my work, instead of waiting for so long.
When I do not work overtime, she asked why is it that I do not offer to stay back and help my colleauges out who are working late? How much can I contribute by going off on time? I go off because I have already finished my work! If I still have work to do, I will stay back and finish it, and not go off on time!
When I worked overtime, she will say why am I still in the office? Do I really have so much work to do? She said that the minimum requirement she wants of her staff is to be responsible and committed, but if I go off on time and wear the wrong thing to office, what am I showing?
She said she is the one with the family and kids, yet she works late all the time. I am single, so all the more I have no reason not to work late. Does it mean I do not have a life of my own then? I have my chorus activities, my studies, and my family time as well!
She also said that if I do not dress well, how will I ever attract any guys? No wonder I am still single. I still have to find a boyfriend and get married some day, so I should wear something appropriate so I can attract a nice man. What makes her think she knows everything about me?!
Does it mean that if I do not work late I am less responsible or committed? As for my dressing, even my mum says that what I wear is better than what her own staff wears already, and my mum always goes to work in a suit and expects the same formality from her staff.
What makes her think I have nothing to do? Does she know the amount of work I do for others? She said I am always at my desk and not walking around talking to people, so I do not seem to know what is going on in the department. And how can a relatively new staff be so quiet and not mix around?
What makes her think I do not know what is going on? I do not need to find out information just by idling around and gossiping with others. I ask of my own accord if there is something I do not know. I have better things to do than to walk around and talk to others and get invovled in office politics!
There was once when I forgot my staff pass, so I asked my colleague if she could open the door for me. Somehow my supervisor got to know about it, then she asked that why is it I expect people to open the door for me? This tells a lot about my upbringing. Is it because I live in landed property and has a maid, so my parents spoilt me and that is why I expect people to do things for me?
She does not have to attack my family! It was only a one-off incident, does it mean to say that nobody else ever forget their staff passes and needed someone to open the door for them? I cannot understand why she must make all those personal attacks on my character and my family background!
My supervisor is really driving me crazy! If it is not because of the promise to myself, I would have just resigned. But if I resign, then she will win, thinking that I cannot take it just because she criticises me. So I want to stay on and prove to her that I am not going to let her negative comments put me down.
5 comments:
i don't know what your supervisor's problem is. but she seems to have gone beyond professional remarks.
best suggestion: ignore her. otherwise, tell her that you're sorry, you'll observe what she wears for the week and will endeavor to learn from her.
i don't agree with imp.
It is better to make you own stand, even if she is your supervisor. No doubt there are certain things that sometimes we don't like from our boss, but can be torelated. But according to your story, your boss have simply went from 'professional' to 'continuous nagger' who keep attacking your personal private space.
We can accept criticism but not personal attack, even if it's from our boss. Better make your stand known politely. Tell her it's not her place to criticize your private space.
I don't want to generalize or be a MCP, but your boss is a typical lousy lady boss
Employer has right to impose dress-code during work. Outside of the work place, you're free as a bird.
The rest of the attack is just turf war imho. And the pin reactions are all begin with a petty dress-code friction that i would say pretty much avoidable.
If this continues, i am afraid you are going to throw away 1 or 2 years of your professional experience without getting anywhere. Someone gotta give in ... or quit...
it's all your choice and within your control :-)
cheers
Methinks maybe you both have got different definition of "short"
Imp : I too feel she is not being very professional. And I've been keeping a distance lately as well.
Sen : Haven't got chance to tell her actually.
Gus : I'm not going to let her have the satisfaction of seeing me quit. So I just have to make sure I do my job even better and prove that I can do well, then perhaps she will have nothing to say.
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