I spoke to my cousin the other day, as she is a single mother and I wanted to get a first-hand account on how being a single parent is like, just in case one day I do become a single parent.
She is quite pitiful. Her ex-husband had a job posting overseas two years back, and within months, he had an affair, and filed for divorce since he decided to be with his mistress. It was a rather messy affair, but she seems to emerge out of it happier.
I pity the two boys though. They were only five and three when their parents divorced, and they only get to see their father once a week, and some public holidays, provided he is back here. I see the way my cousins struggle, and I really admire her.
But she has lots of help, from a maid and her parents. Also, her company allows her to go to work earlier in the morning, so she can go off earlier and be with her kids. She says that some companies do give priviledges to single mothers with young children.
She told me that it is still best for kids to grow up in a complete family, ie with both the father and mother around. Which is why some couples refuse to formally divorce even though they have already separated and leading their own lives, because of the children.
A single parent has to play the role of both the father and the mother, the family is surviving on just one person's income instead of dual-income. It is still best to have someone with you when you are pregnant, when you are giving birth, when you are raising kids.
Point taken. But I know my life will be rather empty if I do not have kids. Of course it is still best to have a complete family, but if there comes a time when I do not get married, or I get divorced, or widowed, I will still want to have kids. At least one. And I hope it will be the kid of someone I love too.
Seeing my cousin in this state, I realise that there is a lot of uncertainty in the future, in the world. My worst fear is that something may happen to my family. My other worst fear is that my relationship will not be permanent, and I am sure I will not be able to bear it this time round.
Just imagine with so much terrorism going on, so many crimes and bad news around, so many natural disasters, who knows I may just be killed when my house get bombed and the shell drops on me when I am sleeping. Afterall, even a butterfly flapping its wings can trigger off a tornado somewhere else.
The world needs more love and peace. Just like the movie "The Fifth Element", the four elements of wind, water, fire and earth will not survive and the world cannot survive if there is no love - the quintessential fifth element.
So in case I never have a chance to say this, here is what I want to say :
To all my friends, whether I have met you in person or not - I love all of you, and thank you for all your support, kind words and advise.
To people who have irritated and hurt me in the past - I forgive you, and wish you the best in whatever you do.
To my beloved Cookie (although he can never understand) - You are the light of my life. You make me smile and forget all the worries and frustrations I have. You will always be my little furball.
To my parents, siblings and family - I love you, very much. Despite all our disagreements, I do appreciate everything you have done for me, all the times when you were there for me, and everything you have helped me with. I never did say this, but I am proud to be part of the family.
And a special one to my mum - You are my inspiration and idol, in many ways. Although we do not agree on a lot of issues, I want to say you are the one who is the most influential in my life. I will never be what I am today if it is not because of you. I may not have been the perfect or model daughter in your eyes, but I do love you and will never leave you.
Well, sound a lot like my last words. But then they could jolly well be my last words since I have no idea what will happen the next moment. And I do not wish to disappear all of a sudden without expressing how I feel.
She is quite pitiful. Her ex-husband had a job posting overseas two years back, and within months, he had an affair, and filed for divorce since he decided to be with his mistress. It was a rather messy affair, but she seems to emerge out of it happier.
I pity the two boys though. They were only five and three when their parents divorced, and they only get to see their father once a week, and some public holidays, provided he is back here. I see the way my cousins struggle, and I really admire her.
But she has lots of help, from a maid and her parents. Also, her company allows her to go to work earlier in the morning, so she can go off earlier and be with her kids. She says that some companies do give priviledges to single mothers with young children.
She told me that it is still best for kids to grow up in a complete family, ie with both the father and mother around. Which is why some couples refuse to formally divorce even though they have already separated and leading their own lives, because of the children.
A single parent has to play the role of both the father and the mother, the family is surviving on just one person's income instead of dual-income. It is still best to have someone with you when you are pregnant, when you are giving birth, when you are raising kids.
Point taken. But I know my life will be rather empty if I do not have kids. Of course it is still best to have a complete family, but if there comes a time when I do not get married, or I get divorced, or widowed, I will still want to have kids. At least one. And I hope it will be the kid of someone I love too.
Seeing my cousin in this state, I realise that there is a lot of uncertainty in the future, in the world. My worst fear is that something may happen to my family. My other worst fear is that my relationship will not be permanent, and I am sure I will not be able to bear it this time round.
Just imagine with so much terrorism going on, so many crimes and bad news around, so many natural disasters, who knows I may just be killed when my house get bombed and the shell drops on me when I am sleeping. Afterall, even a butterfly flapping its wings can trigger off a tornado somewhere else.
The world needs more love and peace. Just like the movie "The Fifth Element", the four elements of wind, water, fire and earth will not survive and the world cannot survive if there is no love - the quintessential fifth element.
So in case I never have a chance to say this, here is what I want to say :
To all my friends, whether I have met you in person or not - I love all of you, and thank you for all your support, kind words and advise.
To people who have irritated and hurt me in the past - I forgive you, and wish you the best in whatever you do.
To my beloved Cookie (although he can never understand) - You are the light of my life. You make me smile and forget all the worries and frustrations I have. You will always be my little furball.
To my parents, siblings and family - I love you, very much. Despite all our disagreements, I do appreciate everything you have done for me, all the times when you were there for me, and everything you have helped me with. I never did say this, but I am proud to be part of the family.
And a special one to my mum - You are my inspiration and idol, in many ways. Although we do not agree on a lot of issues, I want to say you are the one who is the most influential in my life. I will never be what I am today if it is not because of you. I may not have been the perfect or model daughter in your eyes, but I do love you and will never leave you.
Well, sound a lot like my last words. But then they could jolly well be my last words since I have no idea what will happen the next moment. And I do not wish to disappear all of a sudden without expressing how I feel.
3 comments:
we love you too!! *hugz
Uhm. Err...ditto? ^_^"
Leecooper : Thank you! Hugs back to you!
Anon_X : Erh, why? Can't say out the 4-letter word? ;-p
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