I am getting rather disillusioned with the society nowadays. Everything is in terms of dollars and cents. Family, education, childbirth, people do things only if they have some compensation in terms of monetary values.
Just like for school entrance. No doubt there are some schools where the demand of students entering (or rather, demand of parents wanting the children to enter) far exceeds the number of places available.
So what do the schools do? Take in students whose parents can afford to make a big donation. Does it mean that those parents who cannot afford to make a donation lose out? Does it mean then that poor pupils can never go to a good school to be educated then?
No matter how rich or poor the pupils are, they have every right to go to any school to be educated. Schools should not take in pupils based on how much their parents’ pockets are worth. Education should not equate to monetary benefits.
If they do this, they are indirectly telling the parents who in turn may indirectly tell the kids that with money, anything is possible, and those kids may then grow up being too focused on wealth and riches, which is not a good thing.
Now the government is trying to promote childbirth and encouraging young couples to get married earlier and having more kids. But a lot of my friends are unwilling to give birth even though they may get married early.
Why? Because they say it is too expensive to bring up a child. They cannot foresee themselves sacrificing their salaries to rear a child, or sacrificing time to take care of the child. So having a child will make them lose out more in terms of time and money. I find it so sad for anyone to think this way.
Having a kid brings joy to your life and your life will really be enriched once you have a kid to love, to take care of, to teach. There is no greater joy than seeing your child grow up, know the right things, having the right values, being a contributor to the society.
How may money replace any of these? I will give anything to hear my child talk, see my child walk the first step, see the progress and development. I will consider this as time truly well-spent.
So since people are complaining how expensive it is to have kids, the government is now giving monetary benefits for those who give birth to three or more kids in a desperate bid to increase the birth rate, yet people are complaining the money is not enough.
Is money more important than bringing a life into the world and experiencing the joy this life will bring? I always want five kids be it government policy and benefits or not, that is, if my age and body can still take it. Otherwise at least three.
Even for my mum, she only wanted to stop at two kids as she felt it was too expensive to even take care of one kid. So when she was pregnant with my youngest brother, she was contemplating the idea of abortion, partly as she was at the high-risk pregnancy age.
But my dad and aunt advised her against it. My dad said he would be fully responsible no matter how the baby turned up, and my aunt said it was a life, so give birth to the baby, and if my mum still refused to take care, my aunt would adopt the baby.
So my brother was born, and my mum did not bear to give him away after that as he was the cutest, smartest and best-looking among all of us, and he never lets us forget that. Which explains why my parents dote on him so much.
I also find it sad that nowadays people are so calculative even among family members. Like my youngest brother is forever complaining about giving all the red packets we receive during Chinese New Year to my mum every year.
He said why must I be so obedient to turn over all the red packets to her, now he has to follow suit as well? He says every new year he makes a big loss. I told him that it is just money; and besides, new year is when we get to see relatives we seldom see throughout the year and that should be the mentality, not on how many red packets one receives.
Perhaps it is to do with one’s upbringing. Parents spend all their time making money, thus indirectly telling the children that money is more important than anything else. These children will grow up and do the same thing and inculcate the same mentality in their own children. It is a vicious cycle, and a very sad one indeed.
Just like for school entrance. No doubt there are some schools where the demand of students entering (or rather, demand of parents wanting the children to enter) far exceeds the number of places available.
So what do the schools do? Take in students whose parents can afford to make a big donation. Does it mean that those parents who cannot afford to make a donation lose out? Does it mean then that poor pupils can never go to a good school to be educated then?
No matter how rich or poor the pupils are, they have every right to go to any school to be educated. Schools should not take in pupils based on how much their parents’ pockets are worth. Education should not equate to monetary benefits.
If they do this, they are indirectly telling the parents who in turn may indirectly tell the kids that with money, anything is possible, and those kids may then grow up being too focused on wealth and riches, which is not a good thing.
Now the government is trying to promote childbirth and encouraging young couples to get married earlier and having more kids. But a lot of my friends are unwilling to give birth even though they may get married early.
Why? Because they say it is too expensive to bring up a child. They cannot foresee themselves sacrificing their salaries to rear a child, or sacrificing time to take care of the child. So having a child will make them lose out more in terms of time and money. I find it so sad for anyone to think this way.
Having a kid brings joy to your life and your life will really be enriched once you have a kid to love, to take care of, to teach. There is no greater joy than seeing your child grow up, know the right things, having the right values, being a contributor to the society.
How may money replace any of these? I will give anything to hear my child talk, see my child walk the first step, see the progress and development. I will consider this as time truly well-spent.
So since people are complaining how expensive it is to have kids, the government is now giving monetary benefits for those who give birth to three or more kids in a desperate bid to increase the birth rate, yet people are complaining the money is not enough.
Is money more important than bringing a life into the world and experiencing the joy this life will bring? I always want five kids be it government policy and benefits or not, that is, if my age and body can still take it. Otherwise at least three.
Even for my mum, she only wanted to stop at two kids as she felt it was too expensive to even take care of one kid. So when she was pregnant with my youngest brother, she was contemplating the idea of abortion, partly as she was at the high-risk pregnancy age.
But my dad and aunt advised her against it. My dad said he would be fully responsible no matter how the baby turned up, and my aunt said it was a life, so give birth to the baby, and if my mum still refused to take care, my aunt would adopt the baby.
So my brother was born, and my mum did not bear to give him away after that as he was the cutest, smartest and best-looking among all of us, and he never lets us forget that. Which explains why my parents dote on him so much.
I also find it sad that nowadays people are so calculative even among family members. Like my youngest brother is forever complaining about giving all the red packets we receive during Chinese New Year to my mum every year.
He said why must I be so obedient to turn over all the red packets to her, now he has to follow suit as well? He says every new year he makes a big loss. I told him that it is just money; and besides, new year is when we get to see relatives we seldom see throughout the year and that should be the mentality, not on how many red packets one receives.
Perhaps it is to do with one’s upbringing. Parents spend all their time making money, thus indirectly telling the children that money is more important than anything else. These children will grow up and do the same thing and inculcate the same mentality in their own children. It is a vicious cycle, and a very sad one indeed.
4 comments:
"I always want five kids ... at least three."
hmm..... I think I'll ask you again after you have one :D.
For me the reason for not having too many kids (max three) is about raising them. Money is just one of the necessity to raise kids (to pay for their education, healthcare, etc), more importantly is the time I would need to care for each of them individually. Every kid needs individual attention so that they would grow up to their full potential.
"He said why must I be so obedient to turn over all the red packets to her, now he has to follow suit as well? He says every new year he makes a big loss."
This is too much la. It's not as if he earn the money himself. We are not entitled to this red packet; rather, we are privileged.
Money is a very sensitive issue. Well, money IS important. However, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. I think when people starts to confuse the importance of money with happiness, things go wrong.
Geace : Ah from a mother's point of view. Well... noted. Perhaps if I have my own kids next time I may truly understand.
Goy : Precisely! Glad that someone your age thinks this way.
The "incentive money" given to have more kids is a joke. I don't think it is even 1% of the total 'cost' the parents are going to have to bear to raise a child up to the age of let say, 19.
Heck, it is not even enough to cover the medical fees through the pregnancy till birth.
People like you may be 'lucky' in sense that you actually want to have children. I don't have the 'yearning' to have one at all. And it is not just because of the expenses either. Maybe it is just as well I am not attached.
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