When I was a student (I mean a full-time student, not my part-time status now), there were some projects that required group work. When I was younger and more naïve, I used to wonder why it was I got stuck with certain types of people.
I used to hate group work as I thought I function best on my own (actually I still do) since you can do things on your own time and your own way without needing to report to anyone. Having said that, group work enabled me to “broaden my horizons” in the sense that I got to see the true colours of a lot of people, and taught me how to accommodate and work well together with the various personalities.
Most of my group work partners were pretty alright. We all accommodated each other, did our own shares, met together, and contributed equally. Even for those who contributed a bit more they did it without complaining as it was all for the group.
Group work is such that we just have to give and take. It does not really matter who did more or who did less as long as everyone in the group benefits. Why spend the energy to pick on minor things when in the end everyone emerges as winners?
But there was one girl I remember whom nobody liked to work with. Let’s call this girl N. At first people joined her group because she was a good friend to a lot of people, but after one project, no one wanted to be her friend anymore, except for her “lackeys”.
She was totally autocratic, dominating, domineering, self-centred, selfish and wanted everything done her way according to her methods, techniques and timing. My best friend and I had the misfortune of working on the same group project with her on two separate occasions.
N had the latest computer program (at that point in time), so she wanted everyone to go to her place to do the project. But everyone had to cater to her timing, and she was only free at odd hours of the day, like 10:00pm at night.
So everyone was supposed to go to her place at 10:00pm at night, and no one could leave until the project was done, so they had to stay the night or the weekend if need be. And if suddenly she found that certain parts of the project needed a re-do, she would suddenly call everyone back to her place in the middle of the night and everyone was supposed to go.
My best friend’s experience was that the day of the first project meeting, she was supposed to meet the rest of the group members to go to N’s place. She waited at the train station for about fourty-five minutes. Those were the days where students did not carry mobile phones and even beepers were almost unheard of, unlike the rich and priviledged kids nowadays.
So she had to wait until the first group member arrived, fourty-five minutes later. And the group member then used my friend’s phone card to call the other group members, using up all the value. My best friend had to wait for about an hour and a half before the rest of the group members arrived and they set off to N’s place.
In the first place, if N wanted people to go to her place, she should at least have the courtesy to meet them at the train station and bring them to her place, instead of expecting them to make the way there themselves. This is basic courtesy, is it not?
In the second place, she should at least provide drinks or food or snacks for her friends. As it was, they went there for a project meeting, and no drinks or food was provided. When it was time for lunch, they were not allowed to even go for lunch until they finished the first part, and it was hard to finish as N was insisting on all her ideas and not accepting anyone else’s ideas.
Anyway my best friend said that day was really wasted as after waiting for so long, wasting even more time finding the place, arguing over the ideas, and wasting more time deciding where to eat, the rest of the day went by with only a quarter of the time really discussing the project as N and her lackeys started pillow fighting, napping and playing computer games, while my best friend dutifully read the text to generate more ideas, only to have them torn to shreds by N. By the time she reached home, it was almost midnight, after having been out since 8:00a.m. and they have not gotten a lot done.
The rest of the project duration went by with N always insisting that the members meet at her place, and everyone was expected to place her timing as first priority. She accepted no excuses be it family commitments or school commitments. It was as if no one had a life besides her project, which was not even her own to speak of.
The last straw came was one night, my best friend received a call at midnight, requesting her to go over to N’s place, as a certain part of the project needed to be re-done. She refused of course, saying her mum did not allow her out that late at night. Not just her mum, even my parents would not allow me out at that hour for whatever reason.
N kept insisting on her way, until my friend’s mother had to speak to her and said that she was not allowed out at that hour, and besides, she had done her part of the project. If the project needed to be re-done, then settle it in school the next morning. Or else e-mail her the copy and instructions and she could work at it at home, since they have a computer too.
The next thing my best friend knew, she was summoned by the tutor and made to write a written explanation why she did not meet up with the other group members as requested, and why she asked her mum to scold her group member.
My friend was so shaking mad after that that she wrote a strongly-worded letter of explanation during one of our lectures (while I was copying the notes for her) to our tutor telling everything that happened.
In the end, the tutor called the rest of the group members in and said that she believed everyone contributed equally, except that the group members probably did not have chemistry with each other since everyone disagreed with everyone’s methods of doing things. But in a group project, everyone should accommodate each other to come to a compromise, instead of one party always insisting on his / her own way.
My own experiences were just as bad. It just so happened that everything occurred at the wrong time. I was having problems with my ex, my parents, and my maid at that time left suddenly so my mum wanted me to baby sit my brothers for a few days.
Besides school, I really could not go anywhere else. So I told my group members why not meet at my place since I had a computer too. It was not as if my house was totally devoid of technology that we must meet at N’s place. And it made more sense meeting at my place since my house was much nearer to the school than anyone else’s.
But N refused. For some reason, she insisted on meeting at her place, and if I could not turn up, she would deem me as absent without leave. I was having so much trouble trying to explain to my parents why I needed to go for a project meeting, and all my mum said was all she needed was for me to bear with it for a few days and I could not even handle that responsibility, that I did not care for the family at all.
I was also having trouble explaining to my ex why I could not meet him or help him with his work or commit to the school activities we were both involved in for that period of time, only to get accused of not loving him enough or putting him first in my life.
So I told him if he needed my help with his work, then come over to my place instead of me always going over to his place, but for some unknown reason, he, too, insisted I must go to his place and refused to come to my place.
So I told my group members that I was really having difficulty that period of time, thus if they needed to meet, best would be meet at my place, just for that few days. After that, we could be free to meet anywhere else.
N just refused, and since her lackeys were in the same project group, they backed her up. In the end, I was unable to go for a single project meeting, my ex called me everyday to sulk and scream at me, my parents still gave me a hard time as I quarreled with them everyday over not being able to go for the project meeting, and my group members complained to the tutor and I got a lecture for having a poor attitude, refusal to co-operate, not accommodating, etc.
Through these experiences, I really learnt how vicious some people could be. So whenever I did any group project after that, I chose who to be with, instead of drawing lots. Luckily for the rest of my studying days, each time there was a group project, I never encountered anyone like her ever again. Thus, except for that bad experience, I enjoyed the rest of the group projects I had.
I used to hate group work as I thought I function best on my own (actually I still do) since you can do things on your own time and your own way without needing to report to anyone. Having said that, group work enabled me to “broaden my horizons” in the sense that I got to see the true colours of a lot of people, and taught me how to accommodate and work well together with the various personalities.
Most of my group work partners were pretty alright. We all accommodated each other, did our own shares, met together, and contributed equally. Even for those who contributed a bit more they did it without complaining as it was all for the group.
Group work is such that we just have to give and take. It does not really matter who did more or who did less as long as everyone in the group benefits. Why spend the energy to pick on minor things when in the end everyone emerges as winners?
But there was one girl I remember whom nobody liked to work with. Let’s call this girl N. At first people joined her group because she was a good friend to a lot of people, but after one project, no one wanted to be her friend anymore, except for her “lackeys”.
She was totally autocratic, dominating, domineering, self-centred, selfish and wanted everything done her way according to her methods, techniques and timing. My best friend and I had the misfortune of working on the same group project with her on two separate occasions.
N had the latest computer program (at that point in time), so she wanted everyone to go to her place to do the project. But everyone had to cater to her timing, and she was only free at odd hours of the day, like 10:00pm at night.
So everyone was supposed to go to her place at 10:00pm at night, and no one could leave until the project was done, so they had to stay the night or the weekend if need be. And if suddenly she found that certain parts of the project needed a re-do, she would suddenly call everyone back to her place in the middle of the night and everyone was supposed to go.
My best friend’s experience was that the day of the first project meeting, she was supposed to meet the rest of the group members to go to N’s place. She waited at the train station for about fourty-five minutes. Those were the days where students did not carry mobile phones and even beepers were almost unheard of, unlike the rich and priviledged kids nowadays.
So she had to wait until the first group member arrived, fourty-five minutes later. And the group member then used my friend’s phone card to call the other group members, using up all the value. My best friend had to wait for about an hour and a half before the rest of the group members arrived and they set off to N’s place.
In the first place, if N wanted people to go to her place, she should at least have the courtesy to meet them at the train station and bring them to her place, instead of expecting them to make the way there themselves. This is basic courtesy, is it not?
In the second place, she should at least provide drinks or food or snacks for her friends. As it was, they went there for a project meeting, and no drinks or food was provided. When it was time for lunch, they were not allowed to even go for lunch until they finished the first part, and it was hard to finish as N was insisting on all her ideas and not accepting anyone else’s ideas.
Anyway my best friend said that day was really wasted as after waiting for so long, wasting even more time finding the place, arguing over the ideas, and wasting more time deciding where to eat, the rest of the day went by with only a quarter of the time really discussing the project as N and her lackeys started pillow fighting, napping and playing computer games, while my best friend dutifully read the text to generate more ideas, only to have them torn to shreds by N. By the time she reached home, it was almost midnight, after having been out since 8:00a.m. and they have not gotten a lot done.
The rest of the project duration went by with N always insisting that the members meet at her place, and everyone was expected to place her timing as first priority. She accepted no excuses be it family commitments or school commitments. It was as if no one had a life besides her project, which was not even her own to speak of.
The last straw came was one night, my best friend received a call at midnight, requesting her to go over to N’s place, as a certain part of the project needed to be re-done. She refused of course, saying her mum did not allow her out that late at night. Not just her mum, even my parents would not allow me out at that hour for whatever reason.
N kept insisting on her way, until my friend’s mother had to speak to her and said that she was not allowed out at that hour, and besides, she had done her part of the project. If the project needed to be re-done, then settle it in school the next morning. Or else e-mail her the copy and instructions and she could work at it at home, since they have a computer too.
The next thing my best friend knew, she was summoned by the tutor and made to write a written explanation why she did not meet up with the other group members as requested, and why she asked her mum to scold her group member.
My friend was so shaking mad after that that she wrote a strongly-worded letter of explanation during one of our lectures (while I was copying the notes for her) to our tutor telling everything that happened.
In the end, the tutor called the rest of the group members in and said that she believed everyone contributed equally, except that the group members probably did not have chemistry with each other since everyone disagreed with everyone’s methods of doing things. But in a group project, everyone should accommodate each other to come to a compromise, instead of one party always insisting on his / her own way.
My own experiences were just as bad. It just so happened that everything occurred at the wrong time. I was having problems with my ex, my parents, and my maid at that time left suddenly so my mum wanted me to baby sit my brothers for a few days.
Besides school, I really could not go anywhere else. So I told my group members why not meet at my place since I had a computer too. It was not as if my house was totally devoid of technology that we must meet at N’s place. And it made more sense meeting at my place since my house was much nearer to the school than anyone else’s.
But N refused. For some reason, she insisted on meeting at her place, and if I could not turn up, she would deem me as absent without leave. I was having so much trouble trying to explain to my parents why I needed to go for a project meeting, and all my mum said was all she needed was for me to bear with it for a few days and I could not even handle that responsibility, that I did not care for the family at all.
I was also having trouble explaining to my ex why I could not meet him or help him with his work or commit to the school activities we were both involved in for that period of time, only to get accused of not loving him enough or putting him first in my life.
So I told him if he needed my help with his work, then come over to my place instead of me always going over to his place, but for some unknown reason, he, too, insisted I must go to his place and refused to come to my place.
So I told my group members that I was really having difficulty that period of time, thus if they needed to meet, best would be meet at my place, just for that few days. After that, we could be free to meet anywhere else.
N just refused, and since her lackeys were in the same project group, they backed her up. In the end, I was unable to go for a single project meeting, my ex called me everyday to sulk and scream at me, my parents still gave me a hard time as I quarreled with them everyday over not being able to go for the project meeting, and my group members complained to the tutor and I got a lecture for having a poor attitude, refusal to co-operate, not accommodating, etc.
Through these experiences, I really learnt how vicious some people could be. So whenever I did any group project after that, I chose who to be with, instead of drawing lots. Luckily for the rest of my studying days, each time there was a group project, I never encountered anyone like her ever again. Thus, except for that bad experience, I enjoyed the rest of the group projects I had.
4 comments:
your ex?? good riddance
Wow. And I thought such person like N never exist before. Last time when I was doing projects, it was kinda like the reverse. I believe that I too work best when I'm on my own so I did 70% of the job compared to everyone else. I think I've to improve on that.
er. forty, not fourty.
Leecooper : Yup, good riddance indeed.
Goy : All kinds of people exist in this world. In the working world you will meet even "uglier" ones. Just have to learn how to handle different personalities along the way.
Anon : Rite, thanks.
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