November. Where has all the time flown? It is scary to think that in just a few more weeks it will be the end of the year, and I still have not achieved much. Year after year flies by without doing anything that I can be really proud of. Which makes me really look forward to next year, as I have planned out certain things, which I hope by the end of next year, I can at least achieve something.
As I look back on my previous post, I just remembered that some years back, my mum and I were having this discussion on something which our then Senior Minister Lee brought up in one of the parliamentary speeches. He was trying to change the mentality of graduate guys.
At that point in time, it seemed that there were more and more girls getting more and more educated, so as a result, a lot of the graduate girls were not able to find a partner, as the graduate guys felt threatened by their capabilities. Thus our then SM sort of advised the graduate guys to let go of their fears and find a lady intellectually and educationally their equal or higher.
But I feel that this should not be directed to the guys alone. What about the girls? Girls want to find someone who is intellectually and educationally higher, or at least equal. If the girl is an honours graduate, she will want to find someone with first-class honours or Masters. Thus even if a graduate guy is willing to accept a girl who is higher-educated, the girl may not accept a guy who does not have equal academic qualifications.
My mum was then telling me it was true what the then SM said. She told me to find someone better-educated than me. I always thought it was due to the fact that her expectations are always so sky high, and as long as he is someone I like, I would accept all his flaws and it would not matter to me even if he was uneducated.
How wrong I was! I used to think qualifications do not play a part in finding the right one. But now I realize that if both are worlds apart in terms of qualifications, their perspectives are just totally different. Someone who has not gone through tertiary education will have a different outlook to life than someone who has gone through some form of tertiary education.
I have guy friends who said that they would not take it if their partners are more capable, better-educated and earn more than them. Is that not just so typical of the mentality of a chauvinistic male? Sounds exactly like my first guy. His ideas and opinions must always be the best. He would never accept it if his partner had a different point of view. He told me before (hopefully he has changed that mentality now) that his wife must not be older, taller, better-educated, and earns more than him.
So for him, his wife must listen to everything he says, as in the Bible, there is a quote somewhere that wives must submit to their husbands and do their bidding. Apparently he conveniently overlooked the next line that says husbands must honour their wives and treat them in the highest respect.
My girlfriends, on the other hand, all want to find someone better and more capable in every aspect. So they are all on the prowl for graduate guys who hold better qualifications, but the pool is so limited. I think that is one reason why so many graduate ladies are single.
Having said that, most of my guy friends have no problems settling down with someone who is educationally and intellectually their equal or higher, and do not mind even if their partners are more capable in every aspect. If anything, some of them want their partners to be even better as they are really proud that their partners can be so good in what they do.
But ultimately, it all boils down to compatibility. I am not saying that graduate guys are automatically good in everything and non-graduate guys are the exact opposite. There are some graduates who are totally shallow and some non-graduates who are really good. But if I were to choose between two guys who are equal in every aspect except for qualifications, I would of course go for the better one. Afterall, what is the use of finding the right one to spend the rest of my life with if I cannot take the best?
As I look back on my previous post, I just remembered that some years back, my mum and I were having this discussion on something which our then Senior Minister Lee brought up in one of the parliamentary speeches. He was trying to change the mentality of graduate guys.
At that point in time, it seemed that there were more and more girls getting more and more educated, so as a result, a lot of the graduate girls were not able to find a partner, as the graduate guys felt threatened by their capabilities. Thus our then SM sort of advised the graduate guys to let go of their fears and find a lady intellectually and educationally their equal or higher.
But I feel that this should not be directed to the guys alone. What about the girls? Girls want to find someone who is intellectually and educationally higher, or at least equal. If the girl is an honours graduate, she will want to find someone with first-class honours or Masters. Thus even if a graduate guy is willing to accept a girl who is higher-educated, the girl may not accept a guy who does not have equal academic qualifications.
My mum was then telling me it was true what the then SM said. She told me to find someone better-educated than me. I always thought it was due to the fact that her expectations are always so sky high, and as long as he is someone I like, I would accept all his flaws and it would not matter to me even if he was uneducated.
How wrong I was! I used to think qualifications do not play a part in finding the right one. But now I realize that if both are worlds apart in terms of qualifications, their perspectives are just totally different. Someone who has not gone through tertiary education will have a different outlook to life than someone who has gone through some form of tertiary education.
I have guy friends who said that they would not take it if their partners are more capable, better-educated and earn more than them. Is that not just so typical of the mentality of a chauvinistic male? Sounds exactly like my first guy. His ideas and opinions must always be the best. He would never accept it if his partner had a different point of view. He told me before (hopefully he has changed that mentality now) that his wife must not be older, taller, better-educated, and earns more than him.
So for him, his wife must listen to everything he says, as in the Bible, there is a quote somewhere that wives must submit to their husbands and do their bidding. Apparently he conveniently overlooked the next line that says husbands must honour their wives and treat them in the highest respect.
My girlfriends, on the other hand, all want to find someone better and more capable in every aspect. So they are all on the prowl for graduate guys who hold better qualifications, but the pool is so limited. I think that is one reason why so many graduate ladies are single.
Having said that, most of my guy friends have no problems settling down with someone who is educationally and intellectually their equal or higher, and do not mind even if their partners are more capable in every aspect. If anything, some of them want their partners to be even better as they are really proud that their partners can be so good in what they do.
But ultimately, it all boils down to compatibility. I am not saying that graduate guys are automatically good in everything and non-graduate guys are the exact opposite. There are some graduates who are totally shallow and some non-graduates who are really good. But if I were to choose between two guys who are equal in every aspect except for qualifications, I would of course go for the better one. Afterall, what is the use of finding the right one to spend the rest of my life with if I cannot take the best?
6 comments:
Because the best might not be the most suitable for you?
Plus there will never, ever be 2 guys who are exact in everyhing but qualifications.
Hmmmm.... you may have a point there.
My hubby has a Diploma and I have a degree. He has been suporting me since we got married, I have not worked except for a four months contract stint. He gives me a comfortable life, and I do not have to worry about anything.
My gal-friend who has a Masters, the husband is getting his. They have 2 kids but they have to work really hard. I think she mentioned that there is no way she can stop working.
A qualification doesn't mean anything. Compatibility is important. Of course your partner if his qualification is lower must be able to communicate with you and not make you feel like you have nothing to say. My hubby and I can talk about everything under the sun. We can have "intelligent" conversations and satisfy the intellectual needs of one another. Actually the only thing is that his work does not allow him to further his studies, so there.
Cheers!
Wa..... you are one of the rare lucky ones, having a life which only other girls can dream of.
Girl, get someone whom you cannot live without. Not someone that you can live with.
Yes, trying to find, except this type of guys extinct already
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