I got this from Aquavitae in relation to my post on the MBTI Personality tests. I must say it is a real comprehensive explanation of the different character traits, and everything is so true and accurate for my character and my mum's character. I went to check out my brother's and dad's characters and the traits are also very prominent in them! Now all the more I want to know whether my first brother's traits can be just as accurate.
My friend told me today that his grandfather fell and was hospitalised a few days back. His grandfather is staying with his great-grandmother and a mentally-disabled grandaunt. Today, the great-grandmother also fell and was hospitalised as well. Poor thing, what a string of bad luck!
His mother specially took leave to take care of both the old folks, together with a very reluctant uncle. His great-grandmother has two sons and five daughters, yet none of the other children want to take care of them, as they claimed they have other things to do.
What other things can be more important than taking care of your own mother?! Apparently, his great-grandmother's other children do not bother visiting her unless it is Chinese New Year, and they also do not give her a single cent as they said they have their own children to support. This is really too much! What are they teaching their own children? To shirk responsiblity and abandon their own parents at an advanced age?
But how filial is filial? It is a given that one should take care of one's parents when they are old and frail, but how do you draw the line? Is it being unfilial if one is too busy working to support one's own family, but gives his / her parents enough money to sustain and drops by to see the parents with their children occasionally, but other times neglect the parents?
Is it being unfilial if the old folks are being left out of things and none of the children want to stay with them because old people can be very troublesome and fussy, but the children still make the effort to go and visit them often?
Of course, in my friend's case, I feel his other relatives are wrong to just totally shirk responsibility and expect others to take care of their own mother. But is it considered unfilial just because you believe in a different religion than your parents or do not wish to stay with your parents?
What is the concept of parenthood anyway? Some told me that parents raise their children with the mentality that their children will leave them one day, so have to let them go when the time comes. Others (like my mum) raise their children with the mentality that they are the parents and we are the children so we have to listen to whatever they say no matter what age we are.
Is filial piety stemmed from control and demand then? Like our parents want to control us and demand that we must take care of them in their old age. Or does filial piety mean listening to everything your parents say, even if it does not make sense? Like if your parents keep putting down your boyfriend / girlfriend in front of you, just because they think no one can be good enough for their precious princess / prince.
So where do we draw the line? Listen to everything parents say, or just live your life the way you want? What constitutes as being filial and what constitutes as being downright unfilial? Should we, as children, let parents make all the decisions for us in gratitude for their hard work and suffering in bringing us up?
My friend told me today that his grandfather fell and was hospitalised a few days back. His grandfather is staying with his great-grandmother and a mentally-disabled grandaunt. Today, the great-grandmother also fell and was hospitalised as well. Poor thing, what a string of bad luck!
His mother specially took leave to take care of both the old folks, together with a very reluctant uncle. His great-grandmother has two sons and five daughters, yet none of the other children want to take care of them, as they claimed they have other things to do.
What other things can be more important than taking care of your own mother?! Apparently, his great-grandmother's other children do not bother visiting her unless it is Chinese New Year, and they also do not give her a single cent as they said they have their own children to support. This is really too much! What are they teaching their own children? To shirk responsiblity and abandon their own parents at an advanced age?
But how filial is filial? It is a given that one should take care of one's parents when they are old and frail, but how do you draw the line? Is it being unfilial if one is too busy working to support one's own family, but gives his / her parents enough money to sustain and drops by to see the parents with their children occasionally, but other times neglect the parents?
Is it being unfilial if the old folks are being left out of things and none of the children want to stay with them because old people can be very troublesome and fussy, but the children still make the effort to go and visit them often?
Of course, in my friend's case, I feel his other relatives are wrong to just totally shirk responsibility and expect others to take care of their own mother. But is it considered unfilial just because you believe in a different religion than your parents or do not wish to stay with your parents?
What is the concept of parenthood anyway? Some told me that parents raise their children with the mentality that their children will leave them one day, so have to let them go when the time comes. Others (like my mum) raise their children with the mentality that they are the parents and we are the children so we have to listen to whatever they say no matter what age we are.
Is filial piety stemmed from control and demand then? Like our parents want to control us and demand that we must take care of them in their old age. Or does filial piety mean listening to everything your parents say, even if it does not make sense? Like if your parents keep putting down your boyfriend / girlfriend in front of you, just because they think no one can be good enough for their precious princess / prince.
So where do we draw the line? Listen to everything parents say, or just live your life the way you want? What constitutes as being filial and what constitutes as being downright unfilial? Should we, as children, let parents make all the decisions for us in gratitude for their hard work and suffering in bringing us up?
2 comments:
Is filial piety stemmed from control and demand then? Like our parents want to control us and demand that we must take care of them in their old age.
I spit with disgust at such parents. For goodness' sake, they have to first believe that they are good parents. That they have raised the children to be adults who know their own responsibility without having to be spoon-fed.
Or does filial piety mean listening to everything your parents say, even if it does not make sense?
Like it or not, parents do usually give good advices. After all, they have had the advantages of years of experience (of making mistakes).
To state the obvious, the advice given is always well-meant. If it doesn't make sense, it is mostly due to the generation gap & poor communication skills that the parents have.
Like if your parents keep putting down your boyfriend / girlfriend in front of you, just because they think no one can be good enough for their precious princess / prince.
Nah, this is just one of many tests. To see how one could stand up for oneself as an adult.
Well... good point of view you have. I totally agree on your first point, your second point is good advice and your third point makes lots of sense. But overall, I guess it all depends on the character of the parents. Perhaps some parents just find it harder to let go than others.
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