I met fellow blogger Sentosa for lunch today at the very nice Japanese restaurant I went a few weeks back. Got another opportunity to ride pillion. I still find it so fun and cool to ride pillion! Just imagine the wind in your hair and able to squeeze in between all those big vehicles.
He dropped me off at Borders where I went down the stretch of Orchard before landing at Ngee Ann City to buy a sweatshirt for my Aussie trip. Just nice that Giordano is having its latest collection, consisting of sweatshirts, jackets and polo T-shirts.
Giordano's clothes sizes seem to have gotten bigger, either that or I seem to have shrunk. I used to wear XS to S, depending on my size at the moment, and the sweatshirt I just bought is XXS, and still a little long for me. I hope I have shrunk in weight and not height. I do not mind getting slimmer, but cannot afford getting any shorter. Now I only hope the bottom part of my body can shrink and go back to size 24 jeans instead of size 27 at last count. :-(
A lot of my girlfriends have this mentality that once they love someone, they will go all out to do everything for him. This itself is a good thing, because love by nature is self-sacrificing and dedication. But what happens if the guy does not appreciate your efforts? What if the guy does not feel the same way and is just totally not into you?
How do you know when a guy (or girl) is totally into you? It is easier for a guy to tell if the girl truly loves him, because girls generally tend to give more in a relationship due to being more emotional. That is probably why a lot of times girls tend to lose out and be more miserable as they try so hard to keep the relationship going only to lose the guy in the end. Which is why all the elders have advised that it is best for a girl to find a guy who can love her more than she loves him.
What about girls? How do they know if the guy is really serious about her? If the guy is really serious, he will willingly do things on his own accord to make her happy, no matter how busy he is. Time may be a factor at times, but if both parties are serious about each other, they will find the time no matter how busy they are. The guy will automatically ask the girl out and plan something nice for both of them. Guys who expect the girls to ask them out all the time and still say no time to go out or go out only when he is “in the mood” are not serious about the girl at all.
I do not know about guys, but for girls, the guy need not tell her he is interested in her. The actions will show. Any guy who calls a girl just to ask her out and have a good time and refuses to leave her alone is definitely not serious about her. If the guy is really serious about the girl, he will call her and talk to her, ask about her life, her family, her hobbies, exchange information about each other, what they like to do, etc.
He will want to know everything about her. These can be done without even needing to pester her to go out at all. He will be the first person to help her out if she is ever stuck in a jam, without asking for anything back. He will take up her activities just to be with her. He will compromise to make her happy. He will treat her friends and family as if they are his own. What ever he does, he does it purely with the intention of making her happy. And some guys really change for the better once they meet a girl they are really serious about.
These guys do not just do this in the beginning of a relationship when all things are sweet and sugary, but even after a few years together or marriage. Of course this is just generalising, but there are guys who are like that. My best friend’s ex is a good example. So is my cousin-in-law. Thus my best friend and I both declare that once we find someone like this, grab hold of him and never ever let go.
But of course, we girls must also make sure we treat the guy well too. If we ask for such a sweet and nice guy, we must ensure we do our part to be even more sweet and nice, then we can deserve such a guy. Some girls take nice guys for granted, deem them as too “boring” and “proper”, then later regret when they got stuck with guys who could not even care less about them.
The effort must come from both parties. Let me quote two examples. First example, if the guy is going away on a business trip the day after next, he will want to meet the girl for dinner the next day before he goes off. Some girls will blow up if they find he has to be away. What is the big deal? He is going away on business!
Some girls will meet for dinner, then expect him to see her home despite the early morning flight the next day, but does not even see him off at the airport because the flight is too early. Yet again, some girls will meet for dinner, go all the way to his place to cook for him so he can concentrate on packing, then later on help him to pack up, before making her way back herself since he has an early morning flight, and still go to the airport to see him off the following day, and then go pick him up when he comes back.
If the guy is into the girl, he may not want the girl to see him off at the airport the next day or pick him up when he comes back since he does not want the girl he loves to incur trouble. Some girls will really take the guys’ word for it and not do anything. Although the guys may say that, but I am sure he will like it more if the girlfriend actually goes to see him off and pick him up.
Now if it is the girl going on a trip, what will the guy do? Will the guy do the same thing if he is really into her? Or he will just sit and whine that she will be away and not able to see her for a few days? And then when she called him before she left he was too busy even to answer her call and did not even see her off? If the guy complains about the girlfriend going off yet cannot even take the time to talk to her before she left or see her off at the airport, then drop him! This guy is not worth it!
Second example, if the guy is working late and may need to stay in the office the whole night, what would a girl do? Some girls will complain why he is working late (again!), some will call him and talk to him a while then just go to sleep. If the girl is into the guy, she may even go down to his office, buy him supper (or dinner), bring him some change of clothes, massage him to let him relax, and basically just being there for him. She may even help him with his work (perhaps printing out or photocopying) while she let him get some sleep. Then they would go for breakfast together before going to work.
If the guy is into the girl, what will he do? He will not want her to come down because he cares for her welfare and wants her to sleep more since she is working the next day. He will make up for “neglecting” her by bringing her out the next day, despite how tired he is. But what if the girl is the one working late? Will the guy do the same, or he will just let her stay in the office throughout the night alone?
Of course, guys and girls can show their dedication and commitment in a lot of other ways. It is the little things people do that shows if you really love or care for the other party. But I know that if I find someone to love again, I will end up doing the same things I have done, and probably more, because that is the way I show love – to think of the other party and always put him first in whatever I do. Hopefully, I can find someone who does the same things back too, and make me happy in everything, then he is the one that is worth holding on to.
He dropped me off at Borders where I went down the stretch of Orchard before landing at Ngee Ann City to buy a sweatshirt for my Aussie trip. Just nice that Giordano is having its latest collection, consisting of sweatshirts, jackets and polo T-shirts.
Giordano's clothes sizes seem to have gotten bigger, either that or I seem to have shrunk. I used to wear XS to S, depending on my size at the moment, and the sweatshirt I just bought is XXS, and still a little long for me. I hope I have shrunk in weight and not height. I do not mind getting slimmer, but cannot afford getting any shorter. Now I only hope the bottom part of my body can shrink and go back to size 24 jeans instead of size 27 at last count. :-(
A lot of my girlfriends have this mentality that once they love someone, they will go all out to do everything for him. This itself is a good thing, because love by nature is self-sacrificing and dedication. But what happens if the guy does not appreciate your efforts? What if the guy does not feel the same way and is just totally not into you?
How do you know when a guy (or girl) is totally into you? It is easier for a guy to tell if the girl truly loves him, because girls generally tend to give more in a relationship due to being more emotional. That is probably why a lot of times girls tend to lose out and be more miserable as they try so hard to keep the relationship going only to lose the guy in the end. Which is why all the elders have advised that it is best for a girl to find a guy who can love her more than she loves him.
What about girls? How do they know if the guy is really serious about her? If the guy is really serious, he will willingly do things on his own accord to make her happy, no matter how busy he is. Time may be a factor at times, but if both parties are serious about each other, they will find the time no matter how busy they are. The guy will automatically ask the girl out and plan something nice for both of them. Guys who expect the girls to ask them out all the time and still say no time to go out or go out only when he is “in the mood” are not serious about the girl at all.
I do not know about guys, but for girls, the guy need not tell her he is interested in her. The actions will show. Any guy who calls a girl just to ask her out and have a good time and refuses to leave her alone is definitely not serious about her. If the guy is really serious about the girl, he will call her and talk to her, ask about her life, her family, her hobbies, exchange information about each other, what they like to do, etc.
He will want to know everything about her. These can be done without even needing to pester her to go out at all. He will be the first person to help her out if she is ever stuck in a jam, without asking for anything back. He will take up her activities just to be with her. He will compromise to make her happy. He will treat her friends and family as if they are his own. What ever he does, he does it purely with the intention of making her happy. And some guys really change for the better once they meet a girl they are really serious about.
These guys do not just do this in the beginning of a relationship when all things are sweet and sugary, but even after a few years together or marriage. Of course this is just generalising, but there are guys who are like that. My best friend’s ex is a good example. So is my cousin-in-law. Thus my best friend and I both declare that once we find someone like this, grab hold of him and never ever let go.
But of course, we girls must also make sure we treat the guy well too. If we ask for such a sweet and nice guy, we must ensure we do our part to be even more sweet and nice, then we can deserve such a guy. Some girls take nice guys for granted, deem them as too “boring” and “proper”, then later regret when they got stuck with guys who could not even care less about them.
The effort must come from both parties. Let me quote two examples. First example, if the guy is going away on a business trip the day after next, he will want to meet the girl for dinner the next day before he goes off. Some girls will blow up if they find he has to be away. What is the big deal? He is going away on business!
Some girls will meet for dinner, then expect him to see her home despite the early morning flight the next day, but does not even see him off at the airport because the flight is too early. Yet again, some girls will meet for dinner, go all the way to his place to cook for him so he can concentrate on packing, then later on help him to pack up, before making her way back herself since he has an early morning flight, and still go to the airport to see him off the following day, and then go pick him up when he comes back.
If the guy is into the girl, he may not want the girl to see him off at the airport the next day or pick him up when he comes back since he does not want the girl he loves to incur trouble. Some girls will really take the guys’ word for it and not do anything. Although the guys may say that, but I am sure he will like it more if the girlfriend actually goes to see him off and pick him up.
Now if it is the girl going on a trip, what will the guy do? Will the guy do the same thing if he is really into her? Or he will just sit and whine that she will be away and not able to see her for a few days? And then when she called him before she left he was too busy even to answer her call and did not even see her off? If the guy complains about the girlfriend going off yet cannot even take the time to talk to her before she left or see her off at the airport, then drop him! This guy is not worth it!
Second example, if the guy is working late and may need to stay in the office the whole night, what would a girl do? Some girls will complain why he is working late (again!), some will call him and talk to him a while then just go to sleep. If the girl is into the guy, she may even go down to his office, buy him supper (or dinner), bring him some change of clothes, massage him to let him relax, and basically just being there for him. She may even help him with his work (perhaps printing out or photocopying) while she let him get some sleep. Then they would go for breakfast together before going to work.
If the guy is into the girl, what will he do? He will not want her to come down because he cares for her welfare and wants her to sleep more since she is working the next day. He will make up for “neglecting” her by bringing her out the next day, despite how tired he is. But what if the girl is the one working late? Will the guy do the same, or he will just let her stay in the office throughout the night alone?
Of course, guys and girls can show their dedication and commitment in a lot of other ways. It is the little things people do that shows if you really love or care for the other party. But I know that if I find someone to love again, I will end up doing the same things I have done, and probably more, because that is the way I show love – to think of the other party and always put him first in whatever I do. Hopefully, I can find someone who does the same things back too, and make me happy in everything, then he is the one that is worth holding on to.
5 comments:
He will make up for “neglecting” her by bringing her out the next day, despite how tired he is.
Sure, it sounds romantic, but in reality it hardly happens that way. When a guy is dead tired and he brings her gf out the next day--even if it is due to his wish to see her and not because of her asking/hinting it--I don't think the date will turn out as he expects.
The bottom line is the guy will still be dead tired and will not be able to be in his best person when he is with her.
So what's the best course of action? Dunno. I'll let readers with stories of success to share them. :-\
hmmm, i'm a male and i can tell you that you seriously misunderstood us guys. we will never in a million years say what we want. example, if guys say something like "hey girl, you look like you need some shopping lectures" i means that she is hot. i mean, us guys won't even comment an ugly girl, unless we are in groups and we are jerks. another example will be, if the guy acts as if he didn't care about the girl, it just means that he wants the girl to be jealous and come to him, if not, we will just say it out that we don't like that girl. see, you really need to change your perpective of guys, oh and btw, lust means thinking of unwholesome, sexual thoughts before marriage, or it can mean lust for love, lust for food, lust for games etc ... this is Jack Pale, signing off.
Anon_X : Well.... I never had that experience. In the past when my guys were tired they would just like to conk out and forget about everything else. I also wish to hear some success stories regarding this.
Jack : Thanks for your feedback. Will observe more.
Each to his/her own.
But in general, I believe that people who have less expectations tend to lead happier lives.
Give a sugar donut to someone who's only expecting plain bread, and he'll be very happy. Give the same donut, of even a chocolate glazed one to someone who's expecting a slice of cake from Angie's choice, and he'll not be too happy about it.
Yep, I am Mr. Perspective.
That's true what you said - people with lesser expectations tend to lead happier lives. But on the other hand, isn't it typical of humans to just expect things from others (not that is it necessarily a good thing)?
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