Romancing Singapore : Really Feasible?

I had a very fun day with K today. We went to Carl Jr's for lunch (I still cannot finish the whole burger), watched two shows, "The Legend of Zorro" and "The Great Raid", then dinner and stroll back to the train station. We went to the newly-revamped Marina Square, which transformed from a small, cosy, simple mall to a chic, uber but very super confusing place. We kept getting lost and walking in circles!

I really love war epics. Ironically for someone who professes I disagree with all wars, somehow I cannot get enough of war epics and stories. I guess it is interesting to learn how everyone got rescued. In the case of "The Great Raid", the focus was on the American Prisoners-Of-War in Philippines, and how one battalion went on a mission to rescue them from the Japanese army, who had been ordered to annihilate all the POWs.

It is disappointing (at least to me) that every time there is a war epic (or anything historical or show with a good storyline), the cinema always only seems to be half-full, yet when there is some slapstick show, the cinema is full. Or perhaps not many people are able to appreciate intense and intellectual shows which require them to exercise their little grey cells. So they prefer to laugh than to think, which is not altogether a bad thing also.

I was reading Addy's post on the government efforts in trying to make couples get married and have kids younger. The government has been trying to do that for years, especially since there is not enough of the younger generation to replace the aging generation of baby-boomers. As a result, baby-boomers now have to work until the age of sixty-two to sixty-five as official retirement age, instead of fifty-five to sixty.

So the government is trying to "breed" people to ensure the survival of the country by opening up more and more of these matchmaking agencies, encouraging social activities, and even sending brochures to offices to advertise for singles to sign up for activities. However, there is some discrimination. All these efforts are mostly targeted at single graduates below the age of thirty. Does that mean that non-graduates and singles above the age of thirty do not need to settle down and raise the young generation?

In the past, the reasoning given was that when two graduates get together, their offsprings will most likely be a graduate, so the country need more of these smart young blood to survive. Does it mean that offspring of non-graduates will not be smart and will doomed to be left on the streets?

And that statement is not necessarily true. Look at my family. My parents are both Master degree holders, yet I am nowhere near their calibre. I have relatives who are non-graduates, yet they have children with Masters and good honours. So how can this statement be casually put across to the whole population?

In my friend's post, he put up a few good points on why the government's efforts are mostly in vain. If couples are to get married young, which means most likely get married shortly after university, which means they have to find each other during university (or younger). But school times are not that easy to keep a relationship going, with all the focus on studies. The time spent on studying is enough to kill any relationship if the couple is not willing to persevere to see it through. Besides, during school days, some may not be mature enough to handle a relationship, or really ready to commit yet.

Even if the couple manages to survive through university, there will be more challenges and eye candy when they start working. Again, things will change. Your childhood sweetheart or school days first love may suddenly not be that appealing to you anymore, and you start to stray and wonder how it is like to be with another person. But this boils down to how committed you are to keep the relationship going.

Even if the couple manages to hold through all these trials, when they have just started working, how are they going to raise enough cash to pay for a wedding? Even a simplest wedding ceremony (just registration, photos, gown, suit and honeymoon) can cost a few thousand, not to mention the downpayment of their own place. Thus, even if the couple manages to scrape enough to get married, they will have to make sure they are established and financially stable enough before they can start thinking of having any children.

With all these, it is impossible to get married young. No doubt some do get married at a young age, but it is impossible to have children so fast. If I did get married young, I would not think of having kids so soon because I have to get used to living with someone first, and then make sure everything is ready financially and emotionally before I can be ready to have children. Bringing a kid into the world is not just a matter of finding a job where you can change anytime you do not feel like it or ready to do the job.

But despite everything, the government cannot change people's mentality just like that. No doubt the country is in need of more young blood, but getting married and starting a family is not just a decision made on a whim. If people get married just for the sake of satisfying what the government wants, then if the marriage does not work out there will be more divorce cases coming up. People can only get married only if they are ready and willing and feel the time is finally right.

Then the thing on baby bonuses and more maternity and paternity leave may not necessarily be a good pull factor. Raising a kid is not just on mere money or the few months of leave; it is a lifetime of responsibility, or at least until the kid is old enough to move out. But in the case of parents, they will want to take care of their children for a life time, no matter even if the children are old enough to be grandparents themselves.

I know the government is trying to do a good job, but it is being too idealistic if it expects things to change. If anything, there will be more young people getting married later as they want to accomplish so much when they are still relatively young and energised, thus reluctant to commit to a relationship; as being in a relationship means you have to commit to the other person, and in a lot of cases, committing to the other person means spending time and being accountable to that person, thus some of the things you want to do may have to be sacrificed.

Then there are people (like me) who went in and out of relationships when they were younger, always thinking each partner was the right one but in the end turned out otherwise, and may not be able to find the really right one until at a later age. So with circumstances such that more people are getting married later, and ultimately having kids later, can the government really blame us?