The Concept Of Househusbands

First there were housewives. Now with modern society and the emancipation of women, there are lesser and lesser housewives but with an increase in the number of househusbands. With equality of the sexes getting more and more prominent, more and more couples do not mind having reversed roles where the husbands stay at home, do the housework and take care of the children, and the wives go out to work and bring home the bacon.

I know some husbands who stay at home and are full-time househusbands. Their wives dedicate themselves to their careers and trust their husbands to take charge of the household. I salute these guys for willingly being in a role that was all along a traditionally feminine role. Most guys would rather have their teeth drilled than to be known as “househusbands”, or to put it in a more crude way, a bum. And not many women are willing to marry guys who rather be househusbands.

But if women can go out into the society and work like a man, why is it so unacceptable for men to stay home and be homemakers like women? Perhaps it is due to tradition where ever since when time began, men had always been the one going out and bringing back the food and materials while women stay home to cook, look after the kids and clean the home.

So if the guy can be a better caregiver than the wife, and he is happy being a caregiver while his wife is happy in her job and does not mind being the sole breadwinner, is it wrong if they reverse their roles? Ultimately it should be for the best of the family. Of course, if the guy just stays home and orders everyone around yet does not want to lift a finger to help out or do anything, but still expects the wife to work, do the housework and take care of the kids, then that is really unreasonable. Those types of guys will be the bane of all mankind.

Issues like these go deeper. Imagine if a high-flying wife keeps on climbing up the social ladder, and her high-flying husband gave up his career to be a caregiver at home. Chances are society will question why must it be the husband who gives up the career and not the wife? Chauvinists will have an outrage as these are against their code and ego. Feminists will ask why is it such a big deal and why must it always be the women who give up their careers but men cannot do the same? Sexists will either applaud or snort in disgust (depending on which sex they are on).

Family members will question too. The wife’s family will wonder why she cannot marry someone who can provide for her instead of the other way round. The guy’s family may wonder why he cannot provide for the family. Some may blame the wife for not willing to sacrifice and expect the poor husband to sacrifice. Imagine parents introducing, “Hi, this is my son / son-in-law. He is a full-time stay-home dad” to bewildered expressions on guests.

But perhaps society is structured in such a way that there are certain permissible and certain impermissible behaviour as dictated by society’s rules, and everyone is more or less supposed to conform to those rules. Personally I guess there is nothing wrong with being a househusband, provided the couple agrees on and does not mind the husband staying home and the wife being the sole breadwinner and both are happy with the decision.

But for me, I like to be the one staying home, because I like to be the one keeping the house and cooking for my husband and children and taking care of the kids. Nothing will give me greater joy than to take care of my family. Thus in this case, I have to be with someone who goes out to work, because if I will not be working full-time, someone has to bring in the bacon to feed the family.