Lilypie

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Aspiring A Comfortable Life

I am in a snappy mood. No idea why. Maybe it is to do with my body messing up. Something that is supposed to come has been delayed for more than three months without a single trace. Hmmm.... I do not know where my snappiness came from. Could it be due to the new superior with a new management style, making me do a thousand and one trivial things, but no time to actually do whatever I am supposed to do?

Actually working in a private sector is perhaps less structured than the public sector. After all, working for the government, they under pay you and over work you. Everything must be accounted for, even very trivial things and requests. In the private sector, there is more flexibility and autonomy, but due to that, sometimes things can be messier.

A colleague and I were just discussing over lunch earlier on what accounts for materialism? What does it mean when a person is materialistic? Does aspiring to live a more comfortable life equates to materialism? Like she said, who in the right mind will want to suffer if he / she can live a more comfortable life?

Well... at times I wonder if I am materialistic too, from the kind of life I am used to and hope for. For instance, I try to go travelling every year. But I am not particular over the flight or accommodation, as long as the plane brings me to the destination. I do not shop overseas as I rather indulge in the culture and scenery. I do not need to go high class all the way. I am pretty comfortable with cabins, motels, inns, bed and breakfasts.

I like to own a car, but it does not need to be a fancy convertible. Just a simple, normal family sedan or a small hatchback will do. A car is just to ferry my family members and I here and there, run errands, and make things more convenient instead of the hassle of public transport. It does not need to be a new car, a second or third hand car will do.

I like to own a normal apartment, preferably a condominium, because I like to have the tennis courts and barbecue pits at my doorstep, so that I can play anytime I like and have friends and family over for gathering. I am a lazy person who likes the convenience of having the facilities at my place. It does not need to be in the posh central district, nor does it need to be a penthouse. Just a normal three bedroom somewhere near where I am currently staying will do. It does not even need to be a newly built development, a second hand or resale unit will do as well.

I do not crave for more money, as in I am quite alright with what I am earning. I do not play stocks and shares for fear of getting my fingers burnt. I am not the kind who hungers for promotion or demand a raise all the time, although of course if there is a raise or promotion, I will welcome it. Afterall, who will turn down the chance to have better income?

But these are not for myself alone, but for my family and my future family. I want my parents to live comfortably, like how they have provided for us. I want my future children to have a comfortable life and not fret over when they are going to get their next meal. I want them to have a well-rounded education like what my parents have provided for me.

I do not need a big house, or a maid. I can do the housework or share with my partner. I also do not need lots and lots of sparkling diamond jewellery, or to shop at Tiffany's or Prada. But I do want to live a comfortable life, where I can travel at least once a year, I do not need to go far or go through the hassle of booking a court or barbecue pit as and when I need, or not being able to get onto a public transport especially after grocery shopping and I am carrying quite a number of packages.

I do live simply, but comfortably. It is not the real simple life where people just stay at home, do not even go out for meals or just go to a normal hawker centre for meals, no chance of going around to see places like cafes or nice restaurants, or no chance to go travelling and see the world, or be exposed to arts and culture. I like food, so I do go places to eat, be it in coffee shops or restaurants, but I do not go to real high class restaurants.

This is the kind of life I am used to. In a way, it is a simple life, but to some, they may see it as a high class life. But I am not living the life of a socialite, just a normal person who aspires for a comfortable life for myself and my family. It is not as if I want a big mansion, or a five carat diamond ring, or just shop at the best places, or eat at the most expensive restaurants, or drive the fanciest cars.

To me, one apartment is enough. Once I get one, that will be almost for life. I do not need to upgrade to a better one just because that is better. One car is enough too, as long as the family is able to sit in it. I do not need two cars or even three, or change cars every now and then, not that I can afford it as well.

And I do not need anyone to get all these for me, although it will be good to share the expenses with my future partner. Whatever I want, I will earn and get it myself. I do not need anyone to shower me with very expensive gifts, although I welcome the once in a while indulgence if the guy wants to surprise me or on special occasions.

So am I really materialistic? I seriously do not think so. I do not need someone who earns millions, just a normal graduate wage earner will do. But most importantly, he should not be calculative and stingy. I am not saying he should be a spendthrift, just someone thrifty and live within his own means, but at the same time live a comfortable life. Do everything in moderation.

At the end of the day, a relationship or marriage is not based on love alone. It is on how suited each other's lifestyles are to each other, how similar their directions and visions are. In the words of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, “Always remember that the most important thing in a good marriage is not happiness, but stability.”

One may say you love the one that is bankrupt more than the one who has a stable career. No doubt if you really love him, you will not mind him being a bankrupt and will not leave because of that reason. But if he continues being a bankrupt and thinking the whole world owes him a living and not try to get himself out of the situation, then it just makes sense to go with the one with a stable career right, provided all factors are in place?

Of course, if during the course of a marriage and one of the partners fall into a lull, then the other partner must then face through the difficulty together and not run away just because the guy lost his job or his money. One should not be with someone just because of how much he earns or how stable his career is, but at the same time, one should also be with someone who can let you and the family live a comfortable life, and not someone who always calculate or struggles to even put food on the table.

Perhaps now I sound really shallow and materialistic in saying this, but at the end of the day, I want a good and comfortable future. Yes, I want a simple life, but also a comfortable life, and not a just a mere real simple life. I have been brought up this way with this kind of lifestyle, so I will not go for anything too high class, but neither will I shortchange myself by settling for anything too less. Just a normal lower to mid middle class lifestyle will do.

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