Finally, I have a long-awaited off day post public holiday, so I took the opportunity to do a few things which have been accumulating. First, I went to the business district to settle some urgent insurance matters. Being back to the business district and mingling with the crowd in executive suits, really bring back memories, that I used to be one of them.
Somehow I still feel kind of suffocated in that environment. At least now my office is situated in an out of the way place, away from all the formal white collars, I feel less suffocated. It is proven that I am not one who likes the high life.
I was reflecting on how judgmental some people are. Some like to assume things from just a general statement, without going to the core. Is that not too superficial? What gives anyone the right to judge or criticise anyone else anyway, if they do not know the person thoroughly?
Okay, no doubt for me, perhaps I come across as someone outspoken, opinionated, and maybe my kind of upbringing gives others the impression I am some sort of spoilt rich brat, but still, for those who do not know my real person, what gives them the right to judge?
Yes, I do stay in a landed property. My family and extended family are considered middle-class, and we do live a comfortable life. I was used to being driven around when I was young, I have a maid since young, even now. We do dine out often, be it in fancy places or simple places and we do go travelling once a year at least.
But these are what my parents provide for us, to give us a comfortable life. It does not mean I am living off my parent's money, or that I only go for high class or expensive things all the time, or dine in style, or lead the rich and famous life. I am not one who go to fancy places all the time, or go high-class all the way.
I do know how to cook and do housework, I do clean up my room, I do do things on my own. I do not holler for my maid all the time, or leave my laundry everywhere, or expect my maid to serve me or wake me up every morning, unlike my brothers. I am happy with just a normal job, not the ambitious kind who strive for more and backstab others to get my promotion or raise.
Then there are those who say my opinionated ways put guys off, as guys prefer a demure pussycat who listens to them. So am I supposed to listen when I know they are wrong? For instance, if someone I dislike want to get physical with me, or try to take advantage of me, am I then supposed to just keep quiet and let them do whatever they like to me? Then that will be the biggest insult, not just to me, but also to themselves.
Am I also supposed to keep quiet if someone says things about my family, or upbringing, or the things I study? Perhaps an Arts degree may be deemed "useless" and "easy" to some, but I assure you, it is definitely NOT easy! If people do not know exactly what I am studying, how can they just assume that it is easy, and that I have no justification to say it is hard?! I am working full time and studying part-time, it will be hard for anyone, in any subject!
But I find it nothing wrong to be opinionated and outpoken. If I find there are things that are not right, am I supposed to keep quiet and not speak up? I do not need to be quiet or unassuming to attract any guy. There have been guys who were attracted to me, despite the way I am. Okay, in that case, why did I keep having failed relationships? Maybe those other girls were more demure?
Perhaps so, and perhaps not. But if the guy is the type who does not support me just because I want to go for further studies, or find a better job, ultimately may end up with better qualifications or better job prospects than him, and not support me just because I indulge in things I am passionate about and wish to learn more, or suppress me from speaking my mind, then he is not the right person for me at all. And why should I then waste my time with someone like that?
I am not referring to anyone in particular. Those I know are pretty decent. I am just making a general remark, because I have come across a lot of these kind of insecure guys who try childish antics just because they do not feel "worthy" enough to be with the girls.
Well, if he goes after the girl despite knowing she may be higher educated and have a better paying job, and the girl accepts him despite that, then what is there to feel insecure about? Should that not be proof that both can be together? If he has no confidence, how in the world did he want to be with her in the first place?
And those guys who judge or get put off due to the girl's family background is the most insecure of the lot! After all, if he really wants to be with the girl, should he then not try to mingle and get along with the family members?
And if the guy really feels down, then why could he not strive, to be higher educated, and get a better paying job, if he really wants to be her equal or better, instead of just moping and moaning, and making everyone feel frustrated as a result?
Give me a man who is confident, and he will be one who will accept me for who and what I am, how I was brought up, who my family members are, instead of making critical remarks and making it seem as if his ego is the only thing that matters. In any case, what make guys think girls have no egos? To be criticised and judged or hearing remarks about family is not a nice feeling, especially from someone who hardly knows me!
I have none of the vices, I yearn to learn as many things as I can, I am outspoken and opinionated especially on things that truly matter to me. I had a strict upbringing, so there was a rebellious streak when I was younger. But I am a "small woman" too, I will also give in, and just sit back and let the guy take care of me and make the decisions, instead of expecting my way all the time. I like to be pampered and taken care of too, being well-treated.
This is just who and what I am. I see no reason why I should change for anyone, because I do not think I am doing anything wrong. What is wrong with having my own thoughts and speaking my mind? What is wrong with striving for a better education and doing things I am passionate about?
If the guy is not able to accept it, then so be it! I do not need everyone to agree or condone what I do and who I am, because I am just being myself, being true to my own person. I do not need to live my life or give anything up for anyone else!
Somehow I still feel kind of suffocated in that environment. At least now my office is situated in an out of the way place, away from all the formal white collars, I feel less suffocated. It is proven that I am not one who likes the high life.
I was reflecting on how judgmental some people are. Some like to assume things from just a general statement, without going to the core. Is that not too superficial? What gives anyone the right to judge or criticise anyone else anyway, if they do not know the person thoroughly?
Okay, no doubt for me, perhaps I come across as someone outspoken, opinionated, and maybe my kind of upbringing gives others the impression I am some sort of spoilt rich brat, but still, for those who do not know my real person, what gives them the right to judge?
Yes, I do stay in a landed property. My family and extended family are considered middle-class, and we do live a comfortable life. I was used to being driven around when I was young, I have a maid since young, even now. We do dine out often, be it in fancy places or simple places and we do go travelling once a year at least.
But these are what my parents provide for us, to give us a comfortable life. It does not mean I am living off my parent's money, or that I only go for high class or expensive things all the time, or dine in style, or lead the rich and famous life. I am not one who go to fancy places all the time, or go high-class all the way.
I do know how to cook and do housework, I do clean up my room, I do do things on my own. I do not holler for my maid all the time, or leave my laundry everywhere, or expect my maid to serve me or wake me up every morning, unlike my brothers. I am happy with just a normal job, not the ambitious kind who strive for more and backstab others to get my promotion or raise.
Then there are those who say my opinionated ways put guys off, as guys prefer a demure pussycat who listens to them. So am I supposed to listen when I know they are wrong? For instance, if someone I dislike want to get physical with me, or try to take advantage of me, am I then supposed to just keep quiet and let them do whatever they like to me? Then that will be the biggest insult, not just to me, but also to themselves.
Am I also supposed to keep quiet if someone says things about my family, or upbringing, or the things I study? Perhaps an Arts degree may be deemed "useless" and "easy" to some, but I assure you, it is definitely NOT easy! If people do not know exactly what I am studying, how can they just assume that it is easy, and that I have no justification to say it is hard?! I am working full time and studying part-time, it will be hard for anyone, in any subject!
But I find it nothing wrong to be opinionated and outpoken. If I find there are things that are not right, am I supposed to keep quiet and not speak up? I do not need to be quiet or unassuming to attract any guy. There have been guys who were attracted to me, despite the way I am. Okay, in that case, why did I keep having failed relationships? Maybe those other girls were more demure?
Perhaps so, and perhaps not. But if the guy is the type who does not support me just because I want to go for further studies, or find a better job, ultimately may end up with better qualifications or better job prospects than him, and not support me just because I indulge in things I am passionate about and wish to learn more, or suppress me from speaking my mind, then he is not the right person for me at all. And why should I then waste my time with someone like that?
I am not referring to anyone in particular. Those I know are pretty decent. I am just making a general remark, because I have come across a lot of these kind of insecure guys who try childish antics just because they do not feel "worthy" enough to be with the girls.
Well, if he goes after the girl despite knowing she may be higher educated and have a better paying job, and the girl accepts him despite that, then what is there to feel insecure about? Should that not be proof that both can be together? If he has no confidence, how in the world did he want to be with her in the first place?
And those guys who judge or get put off due to the girl's family background is the most insecure of the lot! After all, if he really wants to be with the girl, should he then not try to mingle and get along with the family members?
And if the guy really feels down, then why could he not strive, to be higher educated, and get a better paying job, if he really wants to be her equal or better, instead of just moping and moaning, and making everyone feel frustrated as a result?
Give me a man who is confident, and he will be one who will accept me for who and what I am, how I was brought up, who my family members are, instead of making critical remarks and making it seem as if his ego is the only thing that matters. In any case, what make guys think girls have no egos? To be criticised and judged or hearing remarks about family is not a nice feeling, especially from someone who hardly knows me!
I have none of the vices, I yearn to learn as many things as I can, I am outspoken and opinionated especially on things that truly matter to me. I had a strict upbringing, so there was a rebellious streak when I was younger. But I am a "small woman" too, I will also give in, and just sit back and let the guy take care of me and make the decisions, instead of expecting my way all the time. I like to be pampered and taken care of too, being well-treated.
This is just who and what I am. I see no reason why I should change for anyone, because I do not think I am doing anything wrong. What is wrong with having my own thoughts and speaking my mind? What is wrong with striving for a better education and doing things I am passionate about?
If the guy is not able to accept it, then so be it! I do not need everyone to agree or condone what I do and who I am, because I am just being myself, being true to my own person. I do not need to live my life or give anything up for anyone else!
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