Breaking Up A Couple

I was in the train this morning on the way to the recruitment agency to settle some paperwork when I saw a guy that captivated me. At first it was just a passing glance but I had to look again. Somehow my eyes kept drifting back towards his direction (luckily he never noticed). After that I realised why I was captivated - he reminded me of that certain someone. Probably it is the hair and a bit of the face shape I guess.

Goodness, is he not out of my mind yet? I thought I am over this issue already, but somehow funny vibes resurface every now and then. Perhaps I should get myself hypnotised and forget everything I ever know, especially the bad things.

Speaking of which, I have done something which I feel rather guilty about. I think I have indirectly caused a couple to break up. Although my friend assured me that it is not my fault as she made the decision by herself, but somehow I felt it would not happen if I have not sort of advised her to know what she wants and be true to herself.

My friend was having relationship trouble as she felt her ex-boyfriend and her were drifting apart. They were quarrelling over very minor issues and more and more unwilling to cater to each other's schedules. I asked if they could come to a compromise but she said it had gotten to the stage where it became more miserable to stay together than be apart. What a sense of deja vu. My most recent relationship got to this stage too.

She did not want to break up initially as she did not wish to be the dumper and hurt him. As a friend, I felt her frustrations so I recounted to her my own experiences and told her that if the relationship got to this stage where both could not even talk to each other without raising your voices, then it is best to separate as it will be in the best interest of each other in the long run.

However, I did tell her that as long as she still loves him and felt that things could work out, then they should talk things through calmly and try to salvage things. The important thing is whether they could foresee a happy future with each other. I told her not to end up like my ex and I, where despite already broken up for quite a while now, we still quarrel over petty things, mostly about his parents' treatment of the matter. If this goes on, I will have no choice but to cut off all contact for the sake of my own sanity.

So now they have broken up and somehow I feel responsible. But on the other hand, if I had told her to hold on and give another try, will things be better? I doubt so. At least she made a firm decision unlike me. I debated for three months whether to break or not to break. I was like her - did not wish to be heartless so I continued trying and holding on despite all the problems and disappointments. In the end when it finally happened, it became a big blow to everyone and I am still paying for it right now by being ostracised. At least my friend and her ex parted on good terms.

So although I feel guilty about this, but seeing my friend being so relieved and happier now sets me at ease a little. But if I can turn back time, what should I say? Tell her to continue in the relationship knowing things will probably get worse, or still tell her to be true to herself and think of each other's long-term happiness? In cases like these, is honesty really the best policy?