Scenario 1 : Guy broke up with girl, a month later, girl discovered the guy holding hands with her best friend - the one who was supporting her throughout her ordeal.
Scenario 2 : Girl broke up with guy - and started a relationship with his brother.
Scenario 3 : Guy and girl broke up, guy's best friend started to fall for the girl and they started a relationship.
Scenario 4 : Guy and girl broke up and after a while, the guy started dating the girl's sister.
Scenario 5 : Guy likes girl, but girl likes his best friend, who in turn likes her best friend.
Now I wonder which scenario is wrong and should be avoided at all costs?
1 : The best friend has known the guy much longer than the girlfriend. It is not known if the guy broke up with her because of the best friend, but the girl was upset because her best friend and ex-boyfriend started out without letting her know, and she would still be kept in the dark if she had not bumped into them.
2 : The girl was with the guy for three years, and an accidental meeting with his elder brother (whom she did not know was his brother) led to attraction on his part, and she felt more connected with him the more she got to know him. By the time the elder brother found out the girl he liked was his brother's girlfriend, it was too late - they had developed real feelings for each other. She had to break up with her boyfriend and went with his elder brother, and I wonder if the family ever accepted them fully.
3 : The guy broke up with the girl due to incompatibility but they still hung out together in a group. His best friend found the girl very attractive and felt connected with her, and started to fall for her. His feelings were reciprocated. The problem was that they did not tell the best friend.
4 : The younger sister always liked the guy and started going out with him after his relationship with her sister failed.
5 : Typical triangle (or quadrangle) scenario of unrequited love.
In times like these, how do you determine who is right or wrong? In the first scenario, my friend spent an hour in the bathroom of a shopping mall crying her eyes out after bumping into her best friend and ex-boyfriend. No doubt the relationship was over, but if the friend is really her best friend, should she have allowed the relationship to blossom so fast? Worse was if the guy broke up with her because he suddenly realised he liked the best friend better. And not telling her might or might not be a good idea, considering her feelings, but now that she had found out, would she not be even more hurt?
I will never go for my best friend's ex-boyfriend, no matter how close we are. I did try pushing her and my second ex together, but she refused too. It is just going to be so weird if you go out together and you see your best friend and your ex being so loving right in front of you. I am not sure about others, but I know it may be a bit too much for me to bear.
This corresponds to the third scenario. The couple has broken up, so is it alright for the best friend to go after the ex-girlfriend? Most guys I know have no problems with that. Guys are more easy-going than girls after all. But should he seek permission from his friend first? After all, it is his friend's ex-girlfriend that he was planning to pursue. Would it be more righteous if he asked his friend's opinion, rather than just pursue her and caused what may be an eruption if the friend ever found out?
Best friends are one thing because although you get to see them often, you do not need to live with them (at least generally speaking). What if it is your own sibling, or worse, your twin? In the second scenario, my schoolmate was having problems with her ex-boyfriend when he entered the army. She met his brother at a party and they could click pretty well. She did not know he was the brother as he was staying at the university hostel. He drove her home that night and she really felt attraction. They went on several more outings.
She found out who he was only when she and her boyfriend was out on a date and it started raining heavily, so he called his brother to come pick them up. The guy dropped off first and the brother drove her the rest of the way home and told her he could not do this to his brother, so it would be best to just forget everything. In the end, she broke up with the guy and ended up with the brother and although the family may have accepted the fact, but things would forever be awkward.
In the first place, she should never have two-timed. That is the most dangerous game to play as the two-timer ends up not just hurting himself but other parties as well. If she felt that she really could not be with the guy anymore she should have told him earlier and ended things before she started thinking about her attraction to the other guy. Although that might not make it any less painful, still it seemed the more rightful thing to do. And after she found out he was the brother, should she have given up? I guess there is no right or wrong answer because human emotions are still the most complex thing in the world.
Similarly for the fourth scenario. If you know your sister once went out with this guy (or your brother once went out with this girl), would you go for him / her? Would it be a form of betrayal if you went after your sister's / brother's ex? What if it was the ex that pursued you? Would it be right to accept? Would it be letting your sibling down if you accept?
For the last scenario, what can the parties do? A likes B who likes C who likes D. It does not seem to be going anywhere. What if D likes A? Now would that be going somewhere? Would that be considered a "betrayal" of friendship since they all like each other but none of them like the other? Would it be right to be with someone knowing you may end up hurting the closest people around you, ie your sibling and your best friend? As if life is not complicating enough as it is.
Scenario 2 : Girl broke up with guy - and started a relationship with his brother.
Scenario 3 : Guy and girl broke up, guy's best friend started to fall for the girl and they started a relationship.
Scenario 4 : Guy and girl broke up and after a while, the guy started dating the girl's sister.
Scenario 5 : Guy likes girl, but girl likes his best friend, who in turn likes her best friend.
Now I wonder which scenario is wrong and should be avoided at all costs?
1 : The best friend has known the guy much longer than the girlfriend. It is not known if the guy broke up with her because of the best friend, but the girl was upset because her best friend and ex-boyfriend started out without letting her know, and she would still be kept in the dark if she had not bumped into them.
2 : The girl was with the guy for three years, and an accidental meeting with his elder brother (whom she did not know was his brother) led to attraction on his part, and she felt more connected with him the more she got to know him. By the time the elder brother found out the girl he liked was his brother's girlfriend, it was too late - they had developed real feelings for each other. She had to break up with her boyfriend and went with his elder brother, and I wonder if the family ever accepted them fully.
3 : The guy broke up with the girl due to incompatibility but they still hung out together in a group. His best friend found the girl very attractive and felt connected with her, and started to fall for her. His feelings were reciprocated. The problem was that they did not tell the best friend.
4 : The younger sister always liked the guy and started going out with him after his relationship with her sister failed.
5 : Typical triangle (or quadrangle) scenario of unrequited love.
In times like these, how do you determine who is right or wrong? In the first scenario, my friend spent an hour in the bathroom of a shopping mall crying her eyes out after bumping into her best friend and ex-boyfriend. No doubt the relationship was over, but if the friend is really her best friend, should she have allowed the relationship to blossom so fast? Worse was if the guy broke up with her because he suddenly realised he liked the best friend better. And not telling her might or might not be a good idea, considering her feelings, but now that she had found out, would she not be even more hurt?
I will never go for my best friend's ex-boyfriend, no matter how close we are. I did try pushing her and my second ex together, but she refused too. It is just going to be so weird if you go out together and you see your best friend and your ex being so loving right in front of you. I am not sure about others, but I know it may be a bit too much for me to bear.
This corresponds to the third scenario. The couple has broken up, so is it alright for the best friend to go after the ex-girlfriend? Most guys I know have no problems with that. Guys are more easy-going than girls after all. But should he seek permission from his friend first? After all, it is his friend's ex-girlfriend that he was planning to pursue. Would it be more righteous if he asked his friend's opinion, rather than just pursue her and caused what may be an eruption if the friend ever found out?
Best friends are one thing because although you get to see them often, you do not need to live with them (at least generally speaking). What if it is your own sibling, or worse, your twin? In the second scenario, my schoolmate was having problems with her ex-boyfriend when he entered the army. She met his brother at a party and they could click pretty well. She did not know he was the brother as he was staying at the university hostel. He drove her home that night and she really felt attraction. They went on several more outings.
She found out who he was only when she and her boyfriend was out on a date and it started raining heavily, so he called his brother to come pick them up. The guy dropped off first and the brother drove her the rest of the way home and told her he could not do this to his brother, so it would be best to just forget everything. In the end, she broke up with the guy and ended up with the brother and although the family may have accepted the fact, but things would forever be awkward.
In the first place, she should never have two-timed. That is the most dangerous game to play as the two-timer ends up not just hurting himself but other parties as well. If she felt that she really could not be with the guy anymore she should have told him earlier and ended things before she started thinking about her attraction to the other guy. Although that might not make it any less painful, still it seemed the more rightful thing to do. And after she found out he was the brother, should she have given up? I guess there is no right or wrong answer because human emotions are still the most complex thing in the world.
Similarly for the fourth scenario. If you know your sister once went out with this guy (or your brother once went out with this girl), would you go for him / her? Would it be a form of betrayal if you went after your sister's / brother's ex? What if it was the ex that pursued you? Would it be right to accept? Would it be letting your sibling down if you accept?
For the last scenario, what can the parties do? A likes B who likes C who likes D. It does not seem to be going anywhere. What if D likes A? Now would that be going somewhere? Would that be considered a "betrayal" of friendship since they all like each other but none of them like the other? Would it be right to be with someone knowing you may end up hurting the closest people around you, ie your sibling and your best friend? As if life is not complicating enough as it is.
2 comments:
Heh, those scenarios are intriguing. I could be naive, but I still keep the view that as long as there's a happy ending--even if I'm out of the picture, there is no one who is right or wrong.
I guess you're right. Ultimately as long as everyone's happy in the end, it doesn't really matter who ends up with who isn't it?
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