I met my first ex again today. Why is it that we have not spoken to each other for a decade and now all of a sudden our paths seem to cross so much? I rather do without all these chance meetings. If there is to be any chance meeting, let it be with people I really want to see.
He is still upset over his separation. The worse case is that he is still not officially divorced until he has been separated for three years, so meanwhile even if he wants to, he cannot remarry until all the proceedings have been completed, which will take up to five years.
He asked me what it is about him that all the girlfriends he ever had all left him? He had three more girlfriends after me, the latest being his ex-wife. I said the best person to ask would be his ex-wife and not me, since we knew each other so long ago, and in ten years, a lot of things can change and people’s perspectives will change. And technically, not all his girlfriends left him as he left me, and his ex-wife married him before leaving him.
So he asked about my experiences with him. Gosh, why did I not see that coming? For a few minutes, I was at a loss for words. I was debating to myself whether I should just blast out the whole hurtful truth or rephrase to make things sound better. In the end, I told him I have forgotten how it was like since we were both still young, and I do not wish to remember things not worth remembering (yeah, right, I can feel my nose getting longer already).
But I did give him some tips though. I told him that if he really loves someone, he should think about the other person all the time, instead of only thinking about himself. I said he should not expect his loved one to be like his mum, no matter how admirable or great his mum is to him. I told him some definitions off Sonic’s post on love, whatever I could remember, and said those are fundamental definitions of what love should be.
Of course, I added my own quotes. Since he is so pious, I quoted him the love phrase from the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, on how love should be kind, patient and not demanding. I also said that love is a martyr and not a manipulator, love is compassion, not conceit, love is accommodating, not demanding. And I believe all girls will want to find a guy who can meet all the definitions of love. Come to think of it, perhaps I have been barking up the wrong tree all this time?
He is still upset over his separation. The worse case is that he is still not officially divorced until he has been separated for three years, so meanwhile even if he wants to, he cannot remarry until all the proceedings have been completed, which will take up to five years.
He asked me what it is about him that all the girlfriends he ever had all left him? He had three more girlfriends after me, the latest being his ex-wife. I said the best person to ask would be his ex-wife and not me, since we knew each other so long ago, and in ten years, a lot of things can change and people’s perspectives will change. And technically, not all his girlfriends left him as he left me, and his ex-wife married him before leaving him.
So he asked about my experiences with him. Gosh, why did I not see that coming? For a few minutes, I was at a loss for words. I was debating to myself whether I should just blast out the whole hurtful truth or rephrase to make things sound better. In the end, I told him I have forgotten how it was like since we were both still young, and I do not wish to remember things not worth remembering (yeah, right, I can feel my nose getting longer already).
But I did give him some tips though. I told him that if he really loves someone, he should think about the other person all the time, instead of only thinking about himself. I said he should not expect his loved one to be like his mum, no matter how admirable or great his mum is to him. I told him some definitions off Sonic’s post on love, whatever I could remember, and said those are fundamental definitions of what love should be.
Of course, I added my own quotes. Since he is so pious, I quoted him the love phrase from the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, on how love should be kind, patient and not demanding. I also said that love is a martyr and not a manipulator, love is compassion, not conceit, love is accommodating, not demanding. And I believe all girls will want to find a guy who can meet all the definitions of love. Come to think of it, perhaps I have been barking up the wrong tree all this time?
2 comments:
People conveniently forget things.
The only difference is, Guys and Gals excel at different categories.
YOu may be right there. What girls remember may not necessary be what guys remember and vice versa.
For instance, my girlfriends complain that they always remember their guys' birthdays and anniversaries of the relationship, but the guys never bother to remember. Yet they can remember just about every sport person ever to walk on the Earth and the years and cities where the World Cup or Olympic Games were held.
It's just different perspective on what people deem is important enough to remember I guess.
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