I asked my best friend the other day whether she ever compared her ex-boyfriends to each other (not in front of them of course, but mentality assessing). She said actually there is no basis for comparison, as they are all good and bad in their own ways. Like her first one in secondary school was religious but possessive, her second one was sweet and dedicated but a pity not the right timing, her third one was responsible and ambitious but not dedicated to her, and the last one was dedicated to her but not responsible enough.
It is very true what she said. I guess there really is no basis for comparison. But being humans, each of us would want our subsequent relationship to be better than the preceding one, so somehow we would still compare at the back of our heads. Like I would say my first one was pious and filial, but very chauvinistic. My second one was gentlemanly and romantic, but very temperamental. My third one was good-tempered and filial, but very irresponsible and forgetful.
Or perhaps I should thank Sigmund Freud for all this comparison. Maybe deep down in my sub-conscious and in my dreams, I still believe there is someone more right for me out there, thus I kept focusing on their bad points. My married friends all told me that it is not enough to just like the good points, as I have to be able to tolerate the bad points as well. Maybe it is just as well things did not work out.
Even when I was in my first relationship, I dreamt of being attached to another friend. No doubt it was all just a dream and even in the dreams, nothing physical happened between us, but somehow I woke up feeling guilty and wondered a little how things would be like with him and me. Is that being unfaithful if you dream of being with someone else while still in a relationship?
I never had dreams to this extent when I was with my second ex, but I had dreams of him being with other girls. The period after all his religious frenzy kicked in when his grandfather passed away, I dreamt he dumped me as he wanted to be a priest, and I remembered telling him in the dream that it would be such a waste for him to be a priest. And my dream continued on with chance meetings with another guy (who was somehow faceless) whom I ended up being with.
During the last stages of my relationship with my third ex, I dreamt of both of us breaking up, and I got attached a year later to another faceless guy. But after we really broke up, the guy in the dream took on the face of that particular someone, but the events how we started were the same. This same dream had been recurring for some time, except now the guy is faceless again.
One theory of dreams is that they are the channels to our sub-conscious. It is what our sub-conscious wants us to do. Another school of thought is that dreams are the doors to an alternate reality, where in the real world, things are the opposite. Yet another school of thought brought up that dreams are like the universe to our future, so by dreaming, one can see the events of the near future. I wonder which theory is really true.
Why do we have dreams in the first place? No one has ever been able to give an exact answer where dreams come from. In Roald Dahl’s “BFG”, the BFG stated to the girl that dreams are made and blown into little kids’ ears to let them have pleasant sleeps. But if there are going to be dreams, let me always dream of good things to come.
It is very true what she said. I guess there really is no basis for comparison. But being humans, each of us would want our subsequent relationship to be better than the preceding one, so somehow we would still compare at the back of our heads. Like I would say my first one was pious and filial, but very chauvinistic. My second one was gentlemanly and romantic, but very temperamental. My third one was good-tempered and filial, but very irresponsible and forgetful.
Or perhaps I should thank Sigmund Freud for all this comparison. Maybe deep down in my sub-conscious and in my dreams, I still believe there is someone more right for me out there, thus I kept focusing on their bad points. My married friends all told me that it is not enough to just like the good points, as I have to be able to tolerate the bad points as well. Maybe it is just as well things did not work out.
Even when I was in my first relationship, I dreamt of being attached to another friend. No doubt it was all just a dream and even in the dreams, nothing physical happened between us, but somehow I woke up feeling guilty and wondered a little how things would be like with him and me. Is that being unfaithful if you dream of being with someone else while still in a relationship?
I never had dreams to this extent when I was with my second ex, but I had dreams of him being with other girls. The period after all his religious frenzy kicked in when his grandfather passed away, I dreamt he dumped me as he wanted to be a priest, and I remembered telling him in the dream that it would be such a waste for him to be a priest. And my dream continued on with chance meetings with another guy (who was somehow faceless) whom I ended up being with.
During the last stages of my relationship with my third ex, I dreamt of both of us breaking up, and I got attached a year later to another faceless guy. But after we really broke up, the guy in the dream took on the face of that particular someone, but the events how we started were the same. This same dream had been recurring for some time, except now the guy is faceless again.
One theory of dreams is that they are the channels to our sub-conscious. It is what our sub-conscious wants us to do. Another school of thought is that dreams are the doors to an alternate reality, where in the real world, things are the opposite. Yet another school of thought brought up that dreams are like the universe to our future, so by dreaming, one can see the events of the near future. I wonder which theory is really true.
Why do we have dreams in the first place? No one has ever been able to give an exact answer where dreams come from. In Roald Dahl’s “BFG”, the BFG stated to the girl that dreams are made and blown into little kids’ ears to let them have pleasant sleeps. But if there are going to be dreams, let me always dream of good things to come.
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