I have some girlfriends who say that since they cannot find the perfect guy, it is best not to find someone. They rather remain single than to marry the wrong person or someone second best. Some guys said the same thing too, although (I may risk sounding sexist or stereotyped here) I believe guys are not as choosy as girls, because girls will ultimately find someone who can take care of them properly for life.
But in order to seek for a perfect person, shouldn't one be perfect as well? Girls can say that they want a perfect guy, but in that case, they should be perfect themselves so as to match up to the perfect guy. If girls like guys to be nice to them and do things for them, then they must first be nice and do things for the guys. You cannot just expect people to go according to what you want if you only take and do not give back. Of course, there are cases where the girl (or guy) do so much for the boyfriend (or girlfriend) but in the end totally got taken for granted and hurt badly, but that is another story altogether.
I think what Sissy Song said in"The Teenage Workbook" is very true. She said that the perfect guy should be a perfect gentleman. He should be kind, considerate and attentive. He should provide a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and a heart to care. He must have the body of a warrior but the soul of a poet, and should be a good cook. But it is useless for a girl to speculate on whether she will ever find a perfect guy because she must first become a perfect girl. Then she will deserve him.
I agree with her totally, as these are the fundamental qualities I am looking for as well (although he need not have the body of a warrior and need not be a good cook, but of course, if he can cook that will be even better!). I can be sure that at least 70% of the girls are looking for guys of the same qualities. But in order to even be deserving of a guy like this, then the girls should also have the same qualities and more. I have to constantly remind myself that as well.
But in order to seek for a perfect person, shouldn't one be perfect as well? Girls can say that they want a perfect guy, but in that case, they should be perfect themselves so as to match up to the perfect guy. If girls like guys to be nice to them and do things for them, then they must first be nice and do things for the guys. You cannot just expect people to go according to what you want if you only take and do not give back. Of course, there are cases where the girl (or guy) do so much for the boyfriend (or girlfriend) but in the end totally got taken for granted and hurt badly, but that is another story altogether.
I think what Sissy Song said in"The Teenage Workbook" is very true. She said that the perfect guy should be a perfect gentleman. He should be kind, considerate and attentive. He should provide a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and a heart to care. He must have the body of a warrior but the soul of a poet, and should be a good cook. But it is useless for a girl to speculate on whether she will ever find a perfect guy because she must first become a perfect girl. Then she will deserve him.
I agree with her totally, as these are the fundamental qualities I am looking for as well (although he need not have the body of a warrior and need not be a good cook, but of course, if he can cook that will be even better!). I can be sure that at least 70% of the girls are looking for guys of the same qualities. But in order to even be deserving of a guy like this, then the girls should also have the same qualities and more. I have to constantly remind myself that as well.
7 comments:
perfect in this context does not mean perfect per se, which is obviously unattainable. when girls say they want the perfect guy, they mean the perfect aka right guy for themselves, flaws included. hence it is not seeking for a perfect person, but the perfect person.
Sometimes we're afraid that we feel someone else is much better than the person we marry. That's why we try to look for perfection. It can be because we do not love that person deep enough, allowing us to fear that we find someone else better, or it can be because we fear too much, stopping us from giving our love totally to a person.
Anon : Yes, I know. Of course I do not mean finding a perfect person, but the perfect person for yourself.
Desperate Addict : That's why one must be very sure he / she is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and will be committed to. I believe that as long as one is sure the partner is the right person, there should be nothing to fear.
Hi Hi the is no such thing as a person one......and even if you find one, there is always a chance that that person might change later on in life.....humans do change ya...for better or for worse...that is why god made us say the marraige vow: "for better or for worse.....".
I guess god knows human nutre and mind will always change to look for something better to compare etc....huh that is why I decide to remian single and enjoy my single life with friends and good, close friends without having to commit to one and hoping that perfect will be the perfect one for me, which is not possible but a dream or an illusion of life.....
Heh..
The perfect gal for me may not be the perfect gal for let say, Anon_x. (I want her to be able to slay online monsters as well as the best MMORPGer's out there, among other qualities for example)
Trying to 'categorize' perfection is an exercise in futility. Even unromantic scientitsts know that. (The ideal condition does not exist in nature, nor can it be artificially created. The most you can do is get as close as you can, and extrapolate i.e. "close one eye".)
Its the perspective thingy again...
Oh man!i've read that book too.the 'textbook' and the 'workbook' series.they are classics man.but i lost them.sob sob... can't believe you read them too??
Ole Wolvie : I know. Perfect for one may not be perfect for another one. So each of us ahve to find our own perfect one.
Blueangel : Oh, I love those books! Really related to them when I was reading them during secondary school.
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