I received a formal wedding invitation card from my friend today. Besides the usual information about the venue, day and time, there is also a footnote on punctuality, dress code and gifts. The exact wordings are "On our special day, thank you for arriving on time", "Dress Code : Formal" and "Cash gifts are preferred".
Weddings are supposed to be joyous occasions, yet why would a joyous occasion be marred by reminders like these? Or is it because locals are getting too lax in their manners, dressing and gifts that the bride and groom, the ones that should enjoy their day to the fullest, have to even casually remind their guests what to do?
But if someone gets invited to a wedding in the first place, assuming it is a wedding dinner in a restaurant, should the person not be on time, dress appropriately and give a generous gift? That is only basic courtesy and giving respect to the hosts. If you are late, dresses casually and gives a small gift, would you like it if the same thing happens to you during your own wedding?
I have friends and relatives who are married, so I have heard the fair share of stories. There are people who actually sashay in after the bride and groom have marched in. There are people who bring uninvited guests and only gave a small amount. For instance, one of my friends said that when she got married, her cousin brought her boyfriend and boyfriend's mum, yet all three of them only gave S$5.00 altogether. That is so cheapskate! And someone's mobile actually rang loudly in the middle of the church ceremony. That was such a rude and uncalled-for interruption! I pity the poor bride and groom who had to put up with this.
I guess nowadays people write in preferring cash gifts as cash is the easiest to give away. The guests do not have to rack their brains trying to think of what to buy the couple, and the couple do not have to receive yet another rice-cooker or iron whatsoever. But if one is to give cash gifts, make sure it is a generous enough portion, especially if it is a wedding dinner in a posh restaurant or hotel, and do not give it as if you are just giving away a donation.
Weddings, no matter the venue, are formal affairs, unless you decide to hold it on a beach. But if it is a normal church wedding with a reception, or a wedding dinner, then it is understood that it is a formal affair, so the guests should dress formally without even being told to. Yet even with invitation cards stating dress code and appreciation for punctuality, there are people who still arrive late and dress down.
As a guest, one must always show respect to the host, especially if it is your closed friend or family member's most special day of their lives. By attending the wedding dinner late and clad in jeans and a polo T-shirt is showing downright disrespect to the couple, who had kindly invited you to share their most special day.
The wedding couple took such a long time to plan the day and wanted so much for just that one day in their lives to have things running smoothly and everything to be perfect. We, as the invited guests, should not ruin it for them. They depend on us to make sure their special day is perfect too.
I am sure the couple will want to look back at their special day with good memories, of things being like clockwork, no hiccups, and all their great relatives and friends who have the courtesy to show up dressed nicely sharing their day with them. They do not want to look back on being interrupted by somebody's mobile while in the midst of saying their wedding vows, or people coming in late and being hot and sweaty and all out of breath during the wedding dinner.
I know I want my wedding day to be absolutely perfect. My ex always said I am mad because I can be lax over a lot of things, but when it comes to my own big day, I want absolute perfection. No one is to come late or have their mobiles in the ringing tone, and no one is to even be dressed casually. Any late comers or casual dressers will be asked to go. And the doors will be locked on the precise time so the late comers will not be admitted.
That is why my ex said I am mad, as he said that is absolutely the meanest thing anyone can ever do. But it is my big day with the most special person in my life, I have the right to make sure it is perfect in every way, and if people are not going to cooperate or show us respect, that is their own problem. My special someone and I only have that one day in our lives. Do we not even have the right to ensure full perfection on just that one day, the most important day in our entire lives?
Weddings are supposed to be joyous occasions, yet why would a joyous occasion be marred by reminders like these? Or is it because locals are getting too lax in their manners, dressing and gifts that the bride and groom, the ones that should enjoy their day to the fullest, have to even casually remind their guests what to do?
But if someone gets invited to a wedding in the first place, assuming it is a wedding dinner in a restaurant, should the person not be on time, dress appropriately and give a generous gift? That is only basic courtesy and giving respect to the hosts. If you are late, dresses casually and gives a small gift, would you like it if the same thing happens to you during your own wedding?
I have friends and relatives who are married, so I have heard the fair share of stories. There are people who actually sashay in after the bride and groom have marched in. There are people who bring uninvited guests and only gave a small amount. For instance, one of my friends said that when she got married, her cousin brought her boyfriend and boyfriend's mum, yet all three of them only gave S$5.00 altogether. That is so cheapskate! And someone's mobile actually rang loudly in the middle of the church ceremony. That was such a rude and uncalled-for interruption! I pity the poor bride and groom who had to put up with this.
I guess nowadays people write in preferring cash gifts as cash is the easiest to give away. The guests do not have to rack their brains trying to think of what to buy the couple, and the couple do not have to receive yet another rice-cooker or iron whatsoever. But if one is to give cash gifts, make sure it is a generous enough portion, especially if it is a wedding dinner in a posh restaurant or hotel, and do not give it as if you are just giving away a donation.
Weddings, no matter the venue, are formal affairs, unless you decide to hold it on a beach. But if it is a normal church wedding with a reception, or a wedding dinner, then it is understood that it is a formal affair, so the guests should dress formally without even being told to. Yet even with invitation cards stating dress code and appreciation for punctuality, there are people who still arrive late and dress down.
As a guest, one must always show respect to the host, especially if it is your closed friend or family member's most special day of their lives. By attending the wedding dinner late and clad in jeans and a polo T-shirt is showing downright disrespect to the couple, who had kindly invited you to share their most special day.
The wedding couple took such a long time to plan the day and wanted so much for just that one day in their lives to have things running smoothly and everything to be perfect. We, as the invited guests, should not ruin it for them. They depend on us to make sure their special day is perfect too.
I am sure the couple will want to look back at their special day with good memories, of things being like clockwork, no hiccups, and all their great relatives and friends who have the courtesy to show up dressed nicely sharing their day with them. They do not want to look back on being interrupted by somebody's mobile while in the midst of saying their wedding vows, or people coming in late and being hot and sweaty and all out of breath during the wedding dinner.
I know I want my wedding day to be absolutely perfect. My ex always said I am mad because I can be lax over a lot of things, but when it comes to my own big day, I want absolute perfection. No one is to come late or have their mobiles in the ringing tone, and no one is to even be dressed casually. Any late comers or casual dressers will be asked to go. And the doors will be locked on the precise time so the late comers will not be admitted.
That is why my ex said I am mad, as he said that is absolutely the meanest thing anyone can ever do. But it is my big day with the most special person in my life, I have the right to make sure it is perfect in every way, and if people are not going to cooperate or show us respect, that is their own problem. My special someone and I only have that one day in our lives. Do we not even have the right to ensure full perfection on just that one day, the most important day in our entire lives?
2 comments:
interesting... i wonder what would you do if you saw your friend dress casually... shout and ask him/her to leave? :P
as of lateness... if you closed the door, you might not have many people inside the wedding... and many might be offended since they came all the way and just because they're late, they're not allowed to come.
Maybe a more tactful timing/organization is needed.. why get bogged down with the perfection.. when it is not that important afterall.... my 2 cents only from my own wedding experience :P
Well.. its no wonder that he became an ex isn't it?
Although I also do think you need to relax a bit about the 'wedding rules'. After all, you said it yourself, it is meant to be a joyous occasion. One can't have much joy if there are too much rules to keep up.
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