Why does my heart go aflutter? Why is there a loss of concentration and focus? Why do all these feelings, emotions I thought I had rid myself of, come surging, just like a teenager gushing about one's first love? I hate myself sometimes. Why can't I ever be rational whenever it comes to issues like this? I am in danger of falling too deeply again. The deeper I fall, the more my heart will break and I will be in another complete mess.
I wonder what he is doing right now. I wonder if he is thinking of me too. I do not think so actually. I sent him a message 2 days back but he did not reply me. I wonder if, just a minuscule hope, that he ever thinks we can be more than friends. I look forward to bumping into him online everyday. Just seeing the typed words appear on screen will make me feel he is directly next to me, talking to me. I miss him when he is not around. Oh gosh, what have I gotten myself into?
The lyrics of a particular song keep running through my head. Have any of you watched "Les Miserables"? I watched it in 1994 when it was performed at the Kallang Theatre. So beautiful and sweet. "Les Miserables" is perfect in its own right, although I will prefer "Phantom of the Opera" any day. Anyway the solo by Eponine is so beautiful. It really reflects the mood I am in right now.
On My Own (Eponine – Les Miserables)
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
In the rain
The pavement shines like silver
All the lights
Are misty in the river
In the darkness
The trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me
For ever and forever
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say
There's a way for us
I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers
I love him
But everyday I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known
I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own
I wonder what he is doing right now. I wonder if he is thinking of me too. I do not think so actually. I sent him a message 2 days back but he did not reply me. I wonder if, just a minuscule hope, that he ever thinks we can be more than friends. I look forward to bumping into him online everyday. Just seeing the typed words appear on screen will make me feel he is directly next to me, talking to me. I miss him when he is not around. Oh gosh, what have I gotten myself into?
The lyrics of a particular song keep running through my head. Have any of you watched "Les Miserables"? I watched it in 1994 when it was performed at the Kallang Theatre. So beautiful and sweet. "Les Miserables" is perfect in its own right, although I will prefer "Phantom of the Opera" any day. Anyway the solo by Eponine is so beautiful. It really reflects the mood I am in right now.
On My Own (Eponine – Les Miserables)
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
In the rain
The pavement shines like silver
All the lights
Are misty in the river
In the darkness
The trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me
For ever and forever
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say
There's a way for us
I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers
I love him
But everyday I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known
I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own
2 comments:
I JUST PUT THIS EXACT SAME SONG ON MY BLOG THE OTHER DAY!!!
Really?? But nice song isn't it? The lyrics are so beautiful and whimsical.
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