Lilypie

Monday, June 27, 2005

Should You Change For The One You Love?

A few months back, I read an article in one of the female magazines I used to subscribe to. There was an article on whether women should change for the men they love. The article was about this guy who got himself a Thai girlfriend. He is a high-flying yuppie with plenty of dough at his disposal. He broke up with lots of Singapore girls as he said they are too outspoken and not willing to submit to guys. Anyway, he made his Thai girlfriend go for plastic surgery to look better, sent her for English lessons to communicate better, and boob jobs to look more voluptuous. One wonders how the girl feels about all these. Is she really happy or is she holding on just because he gives her money to support her family? Even during the interview when the reporters wanted to ask her some questions, he brushed them aside, saying that his opinions are her opinions, so they only needed to ask him, no need to bother her. If her opinions are really his opinions, then what is there to hide? By not allowing anyone to interview her, it seems like he was worried she would say something detrimental to him. Sounds like a typical shallow chauvinistic pig.

If you love someone, you should accept the person for what he / she is. You should not expect him / her to change for you. Change is voluntary, not imposed on. If I love a person deep enough, I will willingly change for the person, not the other way round. Like right now, if my target of affection needs a housekeeper, I will willingly go and keep house for him. I have no qualms cooking and cleaning for him without him asking. I never liked to clean up after my ex-boyfriends as they imposed the chores on me. Like I have mentioned before, true love can make someone change totally. But if change is imposed on, then it is not true love.

Right now, I am taking up his type of activities just to be more involved. I have always been interested in the things he has been doing, thus I always think we have common interests. But I became more involved only after I know how I feel for him. I even had his birthday gift (one of those things he had been eyeing) shipped all the way from overseas as I asked around and went all over the island but could not find the exact replica. I wonder if I am really doing too much. This is absolutely the first time I am doing so much for someone before I am even in a relationship with him. Come to think of it, I may not even end up with him in the first place. *Sigh* Love really makes people do crazy things.

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