Adapting To Others

Monday morning. Back to work again after my lax weekend. I was so tempted to just sleep in this morning, especially since I was having such a nice dream of celebrating Christmas with someone and giving him the gift he desired. I found out recently that he wanted a certain branded product that is very cool, and was wondering if I could save up on time for Christmas and get it for him as a gift. I have to start thinking of Christmas gifts to give my friends already.

When I asked my friend what he would like for a Christmas gift since I still owe him a birthday gift for this year, he asked me why I am still going all out to do so much for a certain someone. I told him I like to get that particular person a Christmas gift as a token of friendship, and since I know what he likes, I may as well get him something he wants. My friend said he did not like to see my efforts going to waste, but it does not really matter to me as long as my friends are happy.

A girl friend dumped her guy last December. I was surprised as I was told he is so sweet and nice and really made the effort to please her. But she said that was only the beginning stage, and he is actually a (in her words) bastard. She was bemoaning the fact that why her guys were all nice and sweet to her in the beginning, but later started taking her for granted. Honestly, from all the years I have known her (we have been classmates ever since upper Primary), I think she needs to adapt her behaviour to others a bit more. She is the type who expects people (especially her boyfriends) to do things her way. But I cannot really blame her for that since I also like people giving in to me all the time. :-D But on the other hand, I do not feel comfortable if I do not try to make others happy, so in a way, I always ended up doing more things for others than for myself.

Which got me thinking that in the beginning stages of any relationship, everything will surely be very smooth-sailing and loving, but why do all these change after a while? For my own relationships, the sweet honeymoon stage lasted three months the most, after that people tend to get used to the fact that they are in a relationship and once the initial excitement wears off, they tend to take each other for granted. Which should not be the case. True, every relationship takes a lot of effort and commitment and work on the part of both parties, but if both parties are willing to grow with each other, then I believe their love will become stronger instead of being stagnant. Everyone is different, and people will change, so it all depends on how each of us adapts to the other person.

Just like how I had to revamp myself when my second guy joined the airline because he would be facing so many gorgeous girls day in day out. How I adapted to a simpler style of living when I started off with my third guy. How I readjusted my sleeping hours so I could stay up later to meet someone online. If one is really determined to be with someone, little adjustments will have to be made. I will not even call this a sacrifice; just minor adjustments to fit the schedules of your loved ones without them asking.

Just like that guy I rejected thrice already, but he still continued calling me up. Can he not get the hint? If he is nice and decent I seriously would not mind giving him a chance, but the fact is that he scared me off with his persistence. Besides I do not have a good first impression of him already, and I normally rely on my first impressions of people. Usually when I get a good first impression of someone, he / she will end up as my close friends even if nothing else happens between us (if it is a guy). So if I do not have a good impression of anyone, I tend to be very wary of the person. Besides, that guy is not willing to cater to my schedule and refuses to believe when I told him I was not free, so why should I cater to his schedule all the time? He called me out on the day of my “Street Scene” performance; of course I could not be free to meet him. When I was free I did not hear anything from him, and yesterday when my mum just reached home and I wanted to stay home and keep her company, he called me again. I had to turn him down, and I got accused of not willing to meet him. Well, if that is how he feels, then he can forget about ever calling me out again! Good riddance!

Thus there must be lots of accommodating and compromising and giving-and-taking for any two people to be together. Even among friends, there must be adjustments here and there, let alone in a relationship or marriage. One should not just keep taking and not giving, otherwise he / she may end up having no friends at the end of the day.