I heard from a former classmate that a friend who married straight out of university is now looking for a job. I am quite surprised because this lady was the envy of all of us. She married an Indonesian Chinese whose family owns some island off Indonesia, and they have properties scattered around Indonesia, Singapore, Australia, England and America. Thus, she has never worked ever since graduation. Now after five years of marriage and two kids, she wants to find a job before too late.
Why does she need to work in the first place? She lives such a good life and can be a socialite, enjoying all the political dinners and charity events which only the rich and famous can attend. She used to be rather happy with her life - married well, with her husband and in-laws treating her very well, and she did not wish to work so fast after graduation. Then when the kids came, she was busy taking care of the children. However, her in-laws were afraid of her wearing herself out, thus hired a maid each for the two kids.
So she started doing housework, only to be told by her mother-in-law to leave the domestic chores to the domestic helpers. So since she was so free, she went to take her Masters. Now that she has completed her Masters, she has absolutely nothing to do the whole day, thus decided to go to work so that she can do something to occupy her time. She remarked that the life of a "tai-tai" could last a year at the most, as soon, one will get sick of just shopping, eating, entertaining and spending money. It seems like people are never satisfied with their lives. Those who can never be a "tai-tai" yearn for that type of life, and those lucky enough to be one want to stop being one.
What about the other one? The normal homemaker, the one that just keeps house and takes care of the children while the husband works, and makes sure she makes the home comfortable so her husband will have no worries? Ironically, not many women are willing to be a housewife (especially not in this era and age), but if you think back, is being a "tai-tai" not the same as being a homemaker? Maybe the status and class is different, but it is essentially the same. Yet women dream of being a "tai-tai" but shun the idea of being a homemaker.
What about men? Are they for the idea of their women working? Unless the guy owns an island like my friend's husband, or like my relatives who own big businesses and have plenty of moolah and can afford for their wives not to work and enjoy life, chances are women still have to work. Most often than not, women end up marrying guys who may be well-off but not to the extent of wealthy, so they still have to work to supplement the income.
For instance, if the guy is earning S$4,000.00 per month and the lady S$3,000.00, their combined income can let them and their children lead comfortable lives. If she does not work, they will have to survive on his S$4,000.00 a month pay, so their lives will have to be simplified. Thus most guys nowadays will prefer their wives to work so that they need not work so hard, and with the wives supplementing the household income, the whole family can lead a better life.
I have been with three guys, all with different opinions on these. My first guy wanted his wife to stay home and be a housewife. She could not even take freelance or part-time work as he expected her to dedicate her heart and soul into the family and taking care of the children well. Needless to say, this was stemmed from his mother who all along had been a housewife and taking care of the home properly so his father could concentrate on his work without worries. Strange then that his mum was the one who told me that women should work, and given a chance, she would love to go out and work. My second guy had no preference whether his wife works or not. But my third guy would want his wife to work so that she could supplement the household income.
Personally for me, my family comes first. If need be, I will sacrifice my career for my family. My friends would never agree with me. They said how can I bear to sacrifice a career I built up for years just to be in that position? And my mum would disagree too. She would say that she saw me through to completing my tertiary education, and yet I do not wish to work in the future?! But I always think your career is nothing. When you grow old, your career is not going to be with you. How many times have you seen middle-aged people who give their lives serving the company but still get retrenched overnight? At the end of the day, it is a warm, loving and close-knit family that matters.
But of course, even if I do stay home and take care of the family, I will not be totally not working. Most likely I will take on freelance jobs, like tutoring or music teaching, or volunteering to occupy my time. Being a homemaker does not necessary mean one has to lose touch with society or the working world as well. Besides I can also supplement the household income even without working full-time. Truth be told, I think those women who gave up high-flying careers to be a stay-home mum are really great! They are willing to sacrifice for their families just so they can give the best to their families. I hope my children will also grow up in a nice loving and caring family as well. Although I wonder how many guys nowadays will like their wives not to work and just stay home to look after the house.
Why does she need to work in the first place? She lives such a good life and can be a socialite, enjoying all the political dinners and charity events which only the rich and famous can attend. She used to be rather happy with her life - married well, with her husband and in-laws treating her very well, and she did not wish to work so fast after graduation. Then when the kids came, she was busy taking care of the children. However, her in-laws were afraid of her wearing herself out, thus hired a maid each for the two kids.
So she started doing housework, only to be told by her mother-in-law to leave the domestic chores to the domestic helpers. So since she was so free, she went to take her Masters. Now that she has completed her Masters, she has absolutely nothing to do the whole day, thus decided to go to work so that she can do something to occupy her time. She remarked that the life of a "tai-tai" could last a year at the most, as soon, one will get sick of just shopping, eating, entertaining and spending money. It seems like people are never satisfied with their lives. Those who can never be a "tai-tai" yearn for that type of life, and those lucky enough to be one want to stop being one.
What about the other one? The normal homemaker, the one that just keeps house and takes care of the children while the husband works, and makes sure she makes the home comfortable so her husband will have no worries? Ironically, not many women are willing to be a housewife (especially not in this era and age), but if you think back, is being a "tai-tai" not the same as being a homemaker? Maybe the status and class is different, but it is essentially the same. Yet women dream of being a "tai-tai" but shun the idea of being a homemaker.
What about men? Are they for the idea of their women working? Unless the guy owns an island like my friend's husband, or like my relatives who own big businesses and have plenty of moolah and can afford for their wives not to work and enjoy life, chances are women still have to work. Most often than not, women end up marrying guys who may be well-off but not to the extent of wealthy, so they still have to work to supplement the income.
For instance, if the guy is earning S$4,000.00 per month and the lady S$3,000.00, their combined income can let them and their children lead comfortable lives. If she does not work, they will have to survive on his S$4,000.00 a month pay, so their lives will have to be simplified. Thus most guys nowadays will prefer their wives to work so that they need not work so hard, and with the wives supplementing the household income, the whole family can lead a better life.
I have been with three guys, all with different opinions on these. My first guy wanted his wife to stay home and be a housewife. She could not even take freelance or part-time work as he expected her to dedicate her heart and soul into the family and taking care of the children well. Needless to say, this was stemmed from his mother who all along had been a housewife and taking care of the home properly so his father could concentrate on his work without worries. Strange then that his mum was the one who told me that women should work, and given a chance, she would love to go out and work. My second guy had no preference whether his wife works or not. But my third guy would want his wife to work so that she could supplement the household income.
Personally for me, my family comes first. If need be, I will sacrifice my career for my family. My friends would never agree with me. They said how can I bear to sacrifice a career I built up for years just to be in that position? And my mum would disagree too. She would say that she saw me through to completing my tertiary education, and yet I do not wish to work in the future?! But I always think your career is nothing. When you grow old, your career is not going to be with you. How many times have you seen middle-aged people who give their lives serving the company but still get retrenched overnight? At the end of the day, it is a warm, loving and close-knit family that matters.
But of course, even if I do stay home and take care of the family, I will not be totally not working. Most likely I will take on freelance jobs, like tutoring or music teaching, or volunteering to occupy my time. Being a homemaker does not necessary mean one has to lose touch with society or the working world as well. Besides I can also supplement the household income even without working full-time. Truth be told, I think those women who gave up high-flying careers to be a stay-home mum are really great! They are willing to sacrifice for their families just so they can give the best to their families. I hope my children will also grow up in a nice loving and caring family as well. Although I wonder how many guys nowadays will like their wives not to work and just stay home to look after the house.
4 comments:
it is the value instilled nowadays in society that career comes first. I beg to differ though, and that makes me the anomaly of society =).
I totally agree to your point. I never thought of career as the most important things in my life. It's just a mean for me to get money, and there are lots of ways to get money besides building career rapport.
I personally don't like the idea of working by giving all my life just for building my career. Heck, my life is more important. If the work is working 24 hrs for a peanut pays, the ROI (Return on Investment) are sucks..
Even nowadays, when I told people that I take 5 days leave after just working for 3 weeks frowning lots of eyes =). I would even quit the job is they don't allow me taking leaves for attending my brother's wedding. It's exactly the fear of speaking up (to apply leave) that makes company do watever they wants without caring for my employee....
End of the days, we are directing our own life.. not the company we are working for, also not the government...
cheers
$4000? heh... my friend has been working for 4 years on his job, hold a manager's position, and he's not even earning that much.
Utimately, people have to find something to do with their time, that is fulfilling. And if shopping/dining/entertaining *all* the time is not your cup of tea, you can't be a tai tai. And not everyone has the same amount of tolerance level to 'free time'.
I noticed one thing about your friend. She basically has nothing else to do (kids? there are maids, household chores? there are maids too). That's why she is itching to do something, especially since she's educated.
Sen : Really nice to see a guy so family-oriented. As for taking leave, it is your entitlement, and you already know about your brother's wedding even before you take on the new job. So if hte company does not make allowances for this, I don't think it's worth it working for them.
Ole Wolvie : $4,000 is just an example. ANd I also can't be a tai-tai, I will also get sick of all the high life. The rich and famous life is nice in the beginning, but it becomes meaningless and non-fulfilling through time.
indeed =)
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