Lilypie

Sunday, September 11, 2005

First Love...

I have heard that one's first love is always the most unforgettable. Some people are lucky and they end up being each other's first loves and have a happy ending. Some people managed to get their first love, but in the end may not end up together. Some people may never be able to have a chance to be with their first loves at all. Often than not, people somehow never forget who their first love is, no matter how many years have gone by. Even if the relationship did not work out, and especially if they never have a chance to be together. There will always be the ponder and reflection on how things may turn out to be.

My friend just attended the wedding of his first love a few months ago. They were classmates in secondary school, and until now, he still feels a little for her. Is that why he has been single all these while? Anyway, they did almost get together, but through the sabotage of another mutual friend who probably liked him, the two of them went into a whole lot of misunderstandings. When everything was cleared, the girl had no more feelings for him. What a pity, and how shallow some people can be. My poor friend probably wondered for the past ten years or so how it could have been.

Strangely, I have never been anybody's first love. Wonder if that is a good or bad thing? Maybe if I have been a person's first love, I would have been better treated? Too late to find out now, isn't it, since people my age will most likely have fallen in love at least once in their lives? I know all my ex-boyfriends never did forget their first loves. My best friend never forget her first love too. She used to describe to me the wonderful feeling of having the first kiss, first time holding hands with someone. My first love was my first boyfriend, and although things did not work out, I know he is still in my mind, not because I still love him, but because he was the first guy I ever hugged and kissed, first guy I ever held hands with, first guy I ever fell for and the first guy to ever break my heart. All these special "first time" feelings simply do not happen again.

But a person's first love need not necessary be the one he / she loves the most. Although in about 70% this is the case, most people wil move on and find other love interests, whom they may end up loving more. But there are people who never did get over their first loves and never did find another love interest, perhaps because they got so heartbroken that they became so disillusioned. Rather sad, indeed. But then if you fall completely in love with someone only to have your heart totally shattered, that itself is a big traumatic experience, and some people may just never recover from it.

I know of someone whose first love died of a sickness. She actually broke up with him when she knew she was about to die. He had no idea what exactly happened as she asked for a break up and just avoided all his calls and refused to meet him. It was said that she called out his name before she passed away. When he finally knew what happened, he was so heartbroken that he became just a shadow of his former self. It took him seven years before he finally felt he could love someone again. Now he is married with the girl he fell for but coincidentally (or not I do not know), her name happened to be the same as his first love. I do not know if he even told her that, but for her sake, I sure hope he did not.

So I guess people tend not to forget their first loves. They may fall in love over and over again, but it is the first time that is always the most memorable and unforgettable. Remembering one's first love does not constitute to being unfaithful to whoever you are with. There will always be vivid memories, but as long as you start each relationship on a clean slate and be focused on the one you are with, no one can fault you for your memories. Your own memories are for your ownself to keep in your mind and heart.

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