Possessive Love?

Mr K finally breathed life into my blog. May his blossom and bloom. :-) Another friend whose writing is a cut above the rest – his style is very similar to Sonic’s. The power of language and words are really great!

I finally convinced my dad to get a new monitor, especially since yesterday the colour was dimming as well. My monitor seems to have finally reached the end of its tether. Unfortunately, he would be flying off to Jakarta today, thus I may have to go CRT shopping during the weekend. I seriously have no idea how long more my CRT can last, and my dad may be gone for months again.

I was thinking through the events of late and realized that there is only a very thin line between love and possession. What is love? What is possession? Does love means possessing a person wholly? Does possession means loving a person wholeheartedly? Just how does one define possession? And how does one determine where to draw the line?

I remember a few of my friends in the past who had to go through more complicating situations. A friend I met in tertiary is staying with his dad and maternal aunt, as his mum passed away about fifteen years ago now. His aunt never married so decided to help her late sister take care of her family. However, it seemed that the aunt later fell for the father, and started taking on a deeper role as the father’s companion, surrogate mother to the two children, doing everything a mother would do, except the fact that she was not the mother. When his father started going out with a divorcee with three children of her own, she went ballistic and started doing a lot of weird things.

According to my friend (he used to be a very close friend of mine until certain things happened, so I more or less know about his family background), his aunt started making prank calls to the other lady, threatening to kick the two children out of the house, demanding rent from his dad, even attempting suicide by biting on her finger until it bled. When his dad came back late after his brother’s Confirmation in church because he gave the godmother a ride home, his aunt kicked up a big fuss and kept accusing him of seeing the other woman behind her back, even after the children vouched for him. Is this considered love then? Or possession? Was it because she loved him so felt jealous of him showering attention to the other lady? Or was it because she had lived with him for a while, so did not want to lose the companionship?

Another friend also experienced the same thing. The problem was that she could not get rid of that guy until she actually got attached and showed her boyfriend to him. The guy who was after her camped outside her place, despite her protests, and even her parents were not happy with him always lingering around outside their home. But every time she asked him to go home, he said he would not go unless she went with him to meet his parents. Is this guy a psychopath? She did not even dare to go out except those times when he would not be around. Then she started sneaking out, but he would call and ask where she would be. She often had to play a game of hide-and-seek with him just to avoid him. When she finally showed her boyfriend to him, he almost collapsed. But did he really love her? Or was he just lustful? Or did he just want to possess her as he was totally infatuated with her?

What is the right way to show love then? Love is to let go if the person does not love you back. That is hard for a lot of people to understand and do, as it is even harder to let go of someone you love. But if one really loves a person, he will set the loved one free, no matter how painful it is for the one loving. Stalking, being jealous, throwing tantrums, kicking up fusses, being possessive, etc, are not proof of one’s love, but one’s desire to win.