Are People Masochistic In Nature?

Time really flies. I just found out that it is another four months before I start my course. If I did not defer, I could have started two years ago already and would have graduated faster. I cannot defer anymore. My brain is getting rusty from lack of use so if I still defer, I will have no more brains left. I really admire people who can work and study at the same time. Full-time studying alone already almost killed me. I seriously wonder if I will be able to cope, especially since my course is going to be a very heavy-going one with lots and lots of reading and an average of one assignment per month.

I was talking to my friend (the one who brought out the mummy’s boy) on my way home yesterday. I was asking her why would she want to introduce that guy to me instead of going for him herself. She said she wants a guy more independent because she does not want to stay with her in-laws, and this guy will definitely want to stay with his parents. I told her that perhaps it is more the case of the parents insisting the guy stay with them.

I was asking her about her most recent relationship because I was surprised that they separated since he was also another guy who was very into the girl. He would never go anywhere without her permission and when she could not go, he would rather not go. She said it was a case of personality clashes, so no matter how nice he was to her, certain things could not be agreed on, like she did not like the way he always must involve her in anything. She would like him to be more independent. Sometimes people really do not know what is good for them. Wait till she goes through what I had been through with my ex – could not go anywhere without his permission, everything must have his approval first before I could do anything, and as long as he did not want to go, I was also not allowed to go. If I still insisted on going out with my friends or cousins without him, he would ignore me for three days.

Come to think of it, why are people such masochists? Are they really suckers for punishment? There is a Chinese saying “Sheng1 Zai4 Fu2 Zhong1 Bu4 Zhi1 Fu2”, literally translated as “One never counts his blessings when he is already swarmed in goodness”, meaning a person never knows how lucky he is until all the good things are gone. Or shall I say a person never treasures the one that is good to him / her and rather be with someone who probably will not treat him / her as well?

I have seen so many cases like these. How often do you hear of cases where a nice and caring person was dumped for being too “boring”, and the dumper later ended up with someone even worse, but for some unfathomable reason seemed to like the other person so much better? This happened to me so many times already. How often did I have to give in only to be dumped and the next girlfriend after me was treated like a queen? No doubt I too have stuck with guys who did not treat me well in one way or another, but at least every subsequent guy was better than the previous one. My best friend, on the other hand, seemed to get worse guys one after another after the sweet one. But then not many guys can match up to my friend’s level of sweetness and lovingness in the first place.

My best friend told me she had learnt her lesson. She dumped that loving guy as she thought he could not provide for her at that point in time. I kept telling her to wait a few more years for him to graduate. He would definitely be with her for life. She did not want to and fell for someone more established and richer whom she thought could provide for her but in the end treated her like scum. The next guy after this was worse – no doubt rich and good-looking, but he was a flirt. She said she would never ever choose material comfort over goodness of character ever again.

I kept advising my girlfriends to go for intelligent and nice guys instead of rich and good-looking guys. Intelligent guys can engage in stimulating conversations and both will be able to have fun and companionship for life. And if he is nice and faithful, rest assured he will have eyes only for the girl. Rich and handsome guys on the other hand, know their assets so are confident that many girls will find them a good catch, thus normally tend not to take a relationship seriously as even if one girl does not work out, there will be plenty more to choose from. Of course there are exceptions to the rule. There are guys who are rich, handsome, intelligent and nice, but these are few and far in between, and will belong only to the very lucky few who can manage to get such a guy. There are also guys who are neither rich nor handsome nor intelligent nor nice yet think they are better-looking than Brad Pitt and fool around. These are the lowest scum of the Earth.